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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Yay! Just what I wanted. More chores. Aibu to be mad?

6 replies

SisterhoodNotCisterhood · 25/12/2023 18:12

Just ranting really cos I know IANBU. Mum and Lord Stepdad arrived for Christmas dinner. Lord stepdad does what lordly men do and parks his arse in the comfiest spot and waits to be waited on hand and foot. Even being handed the tv remote and directing womenfolk to what they should put on his plate (sitting at the head of the table) instead of serving himself from the dishes in the middle of the table like everyone else does. Meh. He's mum's problem 364 days of the year. I can tell him to get off his arse this one day..

Now because I'm no wet wipe, this isn't my aibu. I just tell him to get stuff himself etc and don't take his shit. it's mum who's wound me up but he doesn't help my patience.

I've three teens. Mum is the greatest grandma of all time if you were to look at her FB page. In reality she has little to do with them.
For my DS she wanted to get him a "big gift" so I suggested a men's bike. Great. Except I had to go get the money out of an old joint account we have (was from an old business we had), I had to go find a bike (I offered to give her the simple parameters but she said no), buy the bike, have it delivered to me, build the bike, wrap it and present it to DS!
My DDs were to get money. Did she bother popping some in a card? No. She told me at 5pm TODAY to transfer it out of the joint and into the girls accounts because she "didn't get a chance to" in the bloody month running up to the 25th of December.
And earlier, as she walked into the house she asked for a Christmas card to put my DH's cash in. I just told her no. Not this time. She's put more effort into putting her shoes on today than organising 4 measly presents, 3 of which are just cash and one was to be bought online.

I'm not wrong for putting my foot down and telling her to turn around, go buy a card from the shop a street away and come back instead of expecting me to do all her gifting for her, whilst I was fucking busy cooking for 8? It caused a bit of upset tbh. I offended her and it wasn't her fault ya know.

OP posts:
AuntMarch · 25/12/2023 18:16

I choose presents from my DF for my DC because he's very generous but not good at knowing what people will actually like and I'd hate for it to be wasted, but I at least get them sent to his house and he wraps and gives them!

Sunbird24 · 25/12/2023 18:18

So if the money was from a joint account you had with your mum doesn’t that mean you also paid for half of her presents to her grandchildren?

KissTheRains · 25/12/2023 18:24

Top tip for life... Not just for Christmas..

NEVER WORRY ABOUT UPSETTING SOMEONE WHO ISN'T WORRIED ABOUT UPSETTING YOU.

I have upset so many people in my life that didn't give a shit about upsetting me, it's like my mission now..
I remember when I got married and we were moving house. My MIL stood in the drive waving her arms about like she was directing an airplane.
"Put the TV there, put the sofa there, put the table there" etc.
I turned to her and simple said,
"I'm the one moving the crap, I'll shove it where I like, if you're not helping, you're in the way"
... She turned purple with anger . Why?
Because she'd said
"If you're not helping, you're in the way, but at your size, you're probably used to it.."
To me not a month before when her and the ex were trying to move a table.

So.. yeah.

Fuck em..if they can upset you readily, you don't have to consider their feelings either.

🤔
But please bare (bear?) In mind that I have been called disagreeable and unpleasant by many many people.. 😁

Cherrysoup · 25/12/2023 18:52

I think tbh you were extremely restrained. I would have told her no to everything. Was the old joint account yours and hers? Because that doesn’t seem very gift like if half the money was yours.

ManateeFair · 25/12/2023 18:57

YANBU. She sounds like the laziest person ever to walk the earth.

SisterhoodNotCisterhood · 25/12/2023 22:59

None of the money in the joint bank account is mine anymore. I really should have taken my name off but it just isn't something I ever use.
I was a bit sharp with her but I don't think she realises how little she has actually done to get my kids and husband Christmas gifts. The pricey gold earrings she asked for were bought by me, wrapped by me and given on Christmas Day. I didn't just tell her to order them to her own house. Even the gift she got me was still in the delivery bag. She had pulled a corner open to check it was mine and just handed me the parcel that had arrived last night. 🤦🏻‍♀️
At least she had ordered it to her own house I guess.
Sadly my sister is taking after mum. Never sends Christmas or birthday cards but sends money to my bank account. I had to withdraw it yesterday and buy cards to put it in and write 'from Auntie'.

They say it's the thought that counts. Nah. Thought and at least bawhair of effort surely?

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