Upset by mums comment.

[Orchardchutney]

We were looking through old photos and one came up Christmas 3 years ago. My mum were saying how different she looks in it and it’s true she does look very different now due to weight loss etc. my mum was saying she looks ‘an old ugly sinner’ in the photo. Then looked at the photo, then to me and said ‘you’re turning into me’. Aibu to be upset by this? Basically saying I look like her in the old photo after she just said she looks an ugly old sinner.

Mean, don’t let her get you down x

Just hand her her coat and hold the door open.

YANBU, that’s nasty. What time is she leaving? Get her out as soon as possible.

Her problem- not yours. Smile and wave

Do you agree with her that she looks like an ‘ugly old sinner’.
I look like my mum and I regularly get comments from friends and family about it, my mum makes comments like ‘poor you ‘, ‘ I feel sorry for you’ etc. Which get on my nerves, they’re manipulative and whatever issues she’s got about her appearance, she can keep them to herself and not pass them onto me. This is your mums issue, not yours ignore her.

That’s was thoughtless at best malicious at worst. If she does this thing often she’s not a very nice person.

She probably means you look like how she used to look.

Do one of the following:

Ignore
Remind her that you get your looks from her
Tell her "yes, but you're still sour on the inside and no amount of weight loss can change that"

This is exactly the right response. What a nasty thing to say to her daughter. Show her the door

@kerstina yes that’s basically what she was saying

She’s BU. So you say, “sorry but I can’t get past that nasty comment you made to me earlier. I don’t want to have my Christmas spoiled by you deliberately making me feel crap. It’s best you leave.”

Turn it around. Make a joke. I'm in my 50s and am truthfully the spitting image of my mum, and we do not come from gorgeous genes!! So if my mum said something like that - she is 88 starting to go a little odd - and is quite capable of being bitchy like that. So if she said that I would simply reply no I'm gorgeous and I know who I get that from! We both know her game but it deflects it. Even better if there is a friend or stranger around! It takes practice but is worth it in the end.