To go for the promotion

[MistressWeatherwax1]

I've been in my job just shy of a year after a complete career change and I have a great opportunity in the new year to apply for a promotion. I've had excellent feedback from management about my work and they have hinted they want me to apply for the position once I am eligible, which is after a year of working in the job.

My issue is - I helped a colleague apply for the same promotion which they didn't get, management chose to leave the role empty until next year. I am close work friends with the colleague and have supported them through the process, offering advice and I've been there for them after the disappointment of not being offered the role, which has greatly affected them.

Management have said they will advertise again in the new year, by which time I will be eligible to apply for the promotion - the same role my colleague intends to apply for again. They have decades more experience in our sector however, I've been a supervisor for the same length of time in my previous employment even though it was a completely different sector. The ability to organise and lead seems to be what my employer is looking for.

I am already doing the work a supervisor would be doing and I am confident I would be the best person for the role. We still need to work closely whoever gets the role but I feel if I was to succeed my colleague/friend would not take it well as I'm so new to the sector and she believes the job should be hers.

Am I being unreasonabls to apply for the position and risk the friendship?

Your colleague not getting a position has absolutely nothing to do with you. You should apply. A decent friend will be happy for you if you get a promotion.

I wouldn't minimise myself to make someone else feel better. If they are a real friend they would be happy for you if you got the promotion and if you are a real friend, you'll be happy for them if they get it, because that could happen too.

Thank you, this is what I was thinking but I don't want to upset anyone so I've been conflicted. I don't think there's any chance of my friend getting the promotion otherwise they would have given her it a few months ago.

I think you should go for it. It sounds like you're the stronger candidate of the two. If you think your colleague is being overlooked, or deserves more, you could propose a new, different role for them as part of the reshuffle that will have to take place when you're promoted. Perhaps (depends on what your job is) part of what you say in the interview will be how the team needs a different structure and while it needs your leadership, you'd like to see this person doing more of X.

Be open and honest with your friend and after that it's up to her how she takes it. Never sacrifice your career opportunities because of someone else.

They already had first crack, and they didn't get it. I think you should apply, but I also think you need to tell your colleague to avoid issues if you get it and they had no idea you'd applied.

Absolutely go for it! If the friendship can't survive it, it's not a real friendship - which is nothing particularly bad or unusual, in my experience most work friendships are based on being thrown together rather than any deep connection, and rarely last when one of you moves on.

As pp have said, be open with her from the start - tell her you are applying. Avoid apology or self-deprecation, tell her you think you've got the right skills and you'd really like the role. I would adopt a 'we are in the same boat now' approach to it.

Best of luck.