Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Flip

1 2

Original poster

Would you acknowledge gifts

37 replies

Ceci03 · 25/12/2023 10:29

So the relationship with my sister broke down a few years ago. We don't talk. Or speak. Long story. Anyway a couple
Of weeks ago a pair of (generic) iPods arrived in a box from Amazon. No note inside. I was puzzled and checked my Amazon in case I ordered them by mistake. Checked my bank acc thinking it was a scam. Didn't find out anything g. Then about a week later a box came from a skincare company with some face cream. I was very weirded out thinking it was a scam or something. I asked my mother had she sent anything and she said no. But then she text me saying these things were from my sister for my 2 teens. I haven't heard from my sister. Not a text or a card nothing . I feel like she needs to at least txt the kids and say these are presents for them? I'm not inclined to thank her. I think she's being very rude if I'm honest. Aibu

OP posts:

Original poster

Ceci03 · 25/12/2023 11:55

Am presuming the AirPods are for my son and the skin cream for my dd. They were addressed to me .just feel weird about it

OP posts:

AyrshireTryer · 25/12/2023 13:44

Sorry Op I missed that bit. Leave it then, if she doesn't say to xyz from Aunty Nightmare they can't respond.
Have another glass of whatever and forget it.

Z1hun · 25/12/2023 14:25

Without a back story I'm not sure if this applies but I'm in a similar position of not talking to My sil and her sending unwarranted gifts. I thank on behalf of my dd to her dc (never to her) but make sure I do thank so I don't lower myself to her level.

Poppyseason · 25/12/2023 14:37

I'd have the kids sent a thank you note. You know who the gifts are from (granted via your Mum) and leave it at that. Maybe this is her version of an olive branch?

WallaceinAnderland · 25/12/2023 15:10

I would ignore. If she wants contact, she can contact you.

Coconutter24 · 25/12/2023 15:12

Ceci03 · 25/12/2023 10:36

Yeh they can. But we don't know who the gifts are from? I don't know why but I feel weird about it. Like you don't just send random gifts wit no note or text or anything??? Getting my mother to tell me just feels sneaky and cowardly like just send me a text or text the kids if u can't face texting me.

Show quote history

I’m confused as to why this is sneaky and cowardly?

muddyford · 25/12/2023 16:08

Just say thank you.

ChristmasFluff · 25/12/2023 16:50

I totally get it, OP, and listen to your instincts on this. It IS sneaky. It's so easy to straightforwardly send a gift and a card. But no, she's done this - to once again be taking up your headspace.

If she wants to offer an olive branch she needs to do so in a straightforward manner. Not send anonymous 'gifts' with massive strings attached. I really don't think people get it unless they have dealt with these types of difficult people.

And if she ever mentions it to your mother (or you - because she's done this to put you in a damned-if-you-do / damned-if-you-don't situation), just point out that you didn't believe thanks were necessary, as you never received thanks for the things you've sent to her children.

Always best to be reciprocal with this type of person - then they can never judge you without also judging themselves. They still will though, of course....

Stresa22 · 25/12/2023 16:58

I think this is manipulative and wouldn’t respond.

Original poster

Ceci03 · 26/12/2023 02:25

Haven't done anything yet. Was talking to my mother on the phone today but she didn't mention it. I didn't either ...

OP posts:

Gingerkittykat · 26/12/2023 04:46

If you don't want the gifts can you post them back to her?

randomusernam · 26/12/2023 05:15

So you normally send gifts to her kids and didn't this year because of no thank you. Now you have a gift from her and won't say thank you even though you do know who they are from. Send a bloody thank you and leave it at that. Pot calling kettle black it feels

Flip

1 2