To feel overwhelmed by the number of presents DH has bought the kids

[Getmoveon14]

I'm feeling stressed by the sheer volume of presents bought by DH for DCs (teenagers). It's not so much the cost as just not knowing where we'll put them all. Last year we had a clear out which the kids found very hard as they don't like parting with things. The extra space created has already been used by new furniture e.g desks and extra stuff for school.

Christmas preparations started ok with the kids writing lists and we got them about 15 presents (including stockings). I thought Christmas was sorted but in the last week or so DH has ordered loads more stuff from a cheap website which he has duly wrapped and there are now mountains of presents under the tree. I want to find something else to do with all this stuff e.g. return it or give it to charity but AIBU to get involved?

My husband has done the same thing! The amount of gifts under our tree is ridiculous. I see it all and it gives me anxiety. There's barely space for us to sit around the tree in our little front room because it's already overtaken with a desk and toys. And now there's more 😵‍💫

YABU.

They've not even opened their gifts yet and you're already making plans to give them away Find something else to channel your stress into and let your DC enjoy Christmas.

Yabu. Let them enjoy Christmas. I don't even know any men that get involved with the buying of presents unless they're taken on a shopping trip, so I think this is nice.

YANBU. I think this is understandable. But I don't know what you can do about it. Try to stop it happening next year maybe.

I know

I don’t want to be the grinch but just stuff everywhere. So sick of toys!

If they’re teens it can’t all be toys and surely will include things that mostly go in their rooms, so YABU to stress. For a few more years their rooms will be teenage chaos and then when they leave home you can have the declutter of your dreams.

You don't need an excessive amount of gifts to enjoy Christmas. It's ridiculous especially as it sounds like a bunch of heap stuff that just gets used a couple of times and forgotten. It's wasteful and unnecessary especially after that already agreed what to buy and bought them.

This. And go to sleep or you won't last the day.
KILLJOY.

They've not even clapped eyes on their presents and their mum is making plans to get rid of them. What bizarre behaviour. You seem very controlling OP, I wonder is that why your DH has done this.

You would be better looking at managing your own thought process.

Getting stressed or anxious because there’s lots of presents and thinking about removing them so you feel better, is all about you. But just because you feel stressed or anxious, doesn’t mean you get to dictate the outcome.

I have anxiety and am medicated for it. So I get it. But essentially, you are deciding your feelings. About what the kids should get takes precedence over the other parents.

So many threads here I. The last few days seem to be about loss of control. People getting themselves worked up because something isn’t exactly how they think it should be.

There's nothing you can do about it right now. I agree it's wasteful and unnecessary to buy mountains of presents and that kind of thing stresses me out too. But also you can never predict which things they will really love and which things will be less important (from my own childhood I remember very few toys but I do remember this one dinosaur-shaped comb that I kept for YEARS, despite the fact it was clearly "tat"...) Now is not the time to deal with it, but in a month or two when the buzz of the new things has worn off, maybe you can have a joint declutter with the kids. Don't make it be about the presents, just about sorting out the house. Likewise, during the year you could make sure your kids know about consumerism and waste, and see whether together your household chooses to do fewer gifts next year.

I'm amused considering there are many posts about women doing all of the gift buying and mental load, and you are complaining that your DH bought gifts.

As someone who’s mum used to just disappear nearly everything Id ask you to try to find a way to relax about this. We used to get loads of fun/cool stocking fillers and then they’d just be suddenly gone. As an adult now I’m gutted that I have practically nothing from my childhood- I’d go looking for something and my mum would declare she didn’t know. It was a standing joke but I did sometimes tell her she had to tell us but then obviously I didn’t want to part with things and we never found a happy medium and so everything just went.

Are these extra things things they will want and enjoy, or just stuff to make DH feel better?

Excessive gift buying can be stressful, especially if its not wanted.

This has given me some perspective. I'll try and park my worries for the day and appreciate the fact that DH does a lot at Christmas. We'll deal with where to put presents another time.

I feel the same. But I understand it's my issue so I completely mask it and show nothing but enthusiasm.

It does make me feel stressed though. And we've had DD's birthday only 2 days ago as well so it does feel pretty intense.

I'm the same as you OP and DH has done 90% of the presents for everyone. For which I am eternally grateful and remind myself not to resent it at all.