I will preface by saying I am quite an untidy and disorganised person, forgetful, lose things frequently. I highly suspect I have undiagnosed ADHD, but like a lot of women born in the late 1980s, received no diagnosis. I can understand why my traits can be frustrating.
My DP constantly berates me for being forgetful, losing stuff, and generally things I try my best at but cannot help. We have a 5 year old child and a 6 month old. I do all of the night feeds and wake ups for our baby, due to him working, even the weekends. I look after our baby 90% of the time, but never receive any thanks or gratitude.
This morning he asked me if I could tidy up whilst he finished some last minute bits for work. I had two hours until we had to go out to a friends Christmas Eve party. In that time I managed to get myself ready (including nice hair and makeup which I never get to do these days), get our 5 year old ready, feed and sort the baby out (as well as packing his bag). I made a start on the tidying but admittedly not much. DP immediately had a go at me for not doing - in his view - enough tidying.
Then, on the way home from the party, I explained to DP that I didn’t have the time to do all of the tidying and I am really struggling with not sleeping much due to getting up every night with the baby. He then says there’s, ‘no point’ in me doing all the night feeds anyway, as he always wakes up, so he might as well do it. I said fine, I won’t do the night feeds anymore, he can.
The whole of this evening there has been an atmosphere, until 9pm when DP suddenly disappeared. I went looking for him half an hour later to find he had gone to bed - leaving all of the Christmas Eve stockings, wrapping, prep, solely to me which to be honest I find upsetting.
In between all of this, there is near constant tiny criticisms. I haven’t done this correctly, or I’m too slow at this. He says I am not proactive enough but when I suggest things it is immediately shot down.
I’ve decided to sleep on the sofa tonight as I’m upset and as he stated, he doesn’t sleep anyway so he might as well do all the night feeds himself.
I’m not sure why I’m writing this, I’m too upset to sleep and just want to vent I suppose.