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AIBU?

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Original poster

To think they all need to compromise?

54 replies

NoStarOnTheChristmasTree · 24/12/2023 21:22

All teens in the household now.
T13 wants to get up at 6am for presents.
T16 and T18 want to sleep in for a bit.

T13 thinks that we all should and is saying they will go in and wake everyone. Other teens are saying they just wont get up. T13 thinks they are being reasonable as at their age the older one did get up at 6am. The older ones have wanted to sleep in ow for a few years and say they were getting up for T13 as they were so much younger.

Who is BU here?
Dh and I said a 7am compromise would be better perhaps?

OP posts:
Ghentsummer · 24/12/2023 23:09

Your 13 year old sounds like a spoilt brat who needs to stop being so selfish. And 7am is a ridiculous compromise on your part - 8.30/9am would be more of a compromise. Do you always prioritise what your youngest wants?

AuntMarch · 24/12/2023 23:13

What time do they get up the rest of the year, out of interest? Is it their only chance for a lie in or do they have the whole holidays for that?

My son and I are up at six to get to work/school, so I'd feel unreasonable expecting him to stay in bed longer on Christmas day than the time his body clock has been set to!

But he is also 4.

sparepantsandtoothbrush · 24/12/2023 23:18

Ghentsummer · 24/12/2023 23:09

Your 13 year old sounds like a spoilt brat who needs to stop being so selfish. And 7am is a ridiculous compromise on your part - 8.30/9am would be more of a compromise. Do you always prioritise what your youngest wants?

They don't sound like a spoilt brat, they sound like an excitable teenager.

6am is way too early though at that age and yes, as you've said OP, there needs to be a compromise of some sort both ways.

I have older teens here and will probably be nudging them at 9ish but I also have a nephew who was up at 4am every year until they were about 16 which is crazy!

OrigamiOwls · 24/12/2023 23:21

T13 needs to adjust their expectations, that they aren't in a position to be laying down orders (or forcibly walking people up).

Summerbay23 · 24/12/2023 23:23

If they have a stocking let them open that at 7.30 without siblings. 8.30 sounds perfectly early enough for proper presents.

StragglyTinsel · 24/12/2023 23:23

At 13, your youngest can just wait a bit. 6am is far too early. I’d have suggested 8 as a compromise.

We are going for 7am here because my youngest is 3 and is always up at 7. I had to tell STBXH that he needs to be here for 7am tomorrow and he tried to get me to compromise so he could get more sleep. But he’s the father of a 3 year old who simply cannot sit around til 9am knowing there is a pile of presents he can’t touch til his dad arrives. And I’m not making him.

Your children are all teens or older. They can compromise on an 8am start.

Savedpassword · 24/12/2023 23:26

6am is ridiculous.
7.30am at the absolute earliest.

Smellslikesummer · 24/12/2023 23:32

T13 is BU, I would suggest 9-10am

Calabou · 24/12/2023 23:33

I have a toddler and pre-schooler who won't be up before 7.30 at a push, but probably nearer 8/8.30! No way would I be getting up at 6 or even 7 for a 13 year old.

madnessitellyou · 24/12/2023 23:50

Dd1 16 is an early riser and she's been told she's not to wake us or her sister up. We've told her not to clatter around until 8.

We've done the whole 5/6 getting up on Christmas day and no 13yo should be demanding that of anyone!

WandaWonder · 24/12/2023 23:51

6am no chance what is there to compromise on

Womencanlift · 25/12/2023 00:24

With teenager and I would be saying no earlier than 9

Its a holiday after all so no need to be getting up at the crack of dawn

StrawberryWater · 25/12/2023 00:26

6am?

You'll all be dead on your feet and sleeping by midday.

Tell him no earlier than 8.

EvilElsa · 25/12/2023 00:28

6am is far too early at 13. I absolutely wouldn't be dragged out of bed at 6 by a teen!!! She/he is welcome to get up and potter about watching TV quietly and so on, but not to go waking up others, it's not fair.

Birdcar · 25/12/2023 00:31

8 is a more reasonable time.

Saschka · 25/12/2023 00:33

This is what stockings are for. Open the stuff in your stocking at silly o’clock in the morning, and let decent people sleep in until 9am.

HeddaGarbled · 25/12/2023 00:35

6am is bonkers. That age - I’d be going with 10.00am.

Nevermind31 · 25/12/2023 00:48

I think there is nothing more in festive than to be up when it is still dark, you are tired, the house is cold… I can understand older DC, and if you want them to enjoy Xmas you’ll tell younger DC 9 o’clock it is…
otherwise you have grumpy trans that will be unexcited and just shuffle back to bed to sleep until 2…

Saschka · 25/12/2023 00:59

Actually, can you put their clock back so they think it is 6am when it is actually 8am? You can set their phone timezone to Athens once they are asleep…

Fivepigeons · 25/12/2023 02:44

The 13yo is being unreasonable. They aren't a toddler. They can wait a few hours so that everyone can enjoy Christmas without being exhausted.
My primary aged children do not even get up at 6am to open presents. That sounds awful. How would you get thru the rest of the day?
I hope you in no uncertain terms explained to your 13yo how selfish waking other people up needlessly is.
Both my primary aged children have it instilled in them that they can get up when they like but they are only to wake other people up if really necessary and that includes siblings. Respect other people's need for rest.

Ruffpuff · 25/12/2023 02:54

I have a 5 year old who I doubt will be up before 8am as we were up a bit later enjoying Xmas eve!

6am is ridiculous for a 13 year old if it doesn’t suit anyone else.

ughChristmas · 25/12/2023 04:16

Mine are all well past the up-at-the-crack-of-dawn-at-Christmas age. We did 9am this morning. Your 13 year old won't die if they have to wait for presents. What time do the older ones want? If they want ten, then maybe 8 is a good compromise. If it's too much of an issue I'd just tell them what works for me and that will be it.

Speedweed · 25/12/2023 04:21

Surely everyone just gets up when they want and opens their presents at the time? Why the need to coordinate present opening?

It's not healthy for anyone to control what other people are doing, so the little one can get up when they want but shouldn't wake anyone else up, and then the other individuals of the household can make their own choices.

Ragwort · 25/12/2023 04:31

Totally ridiculous... do they have stockings? We always did presents after lunch so there was never any stupid o'clock getting up or present frenzy.
In fact we used to be up and awake way before our DS ... the joy of having an only child was no competitive present opening Grin.
I am only awake now due to poor sleeping habits .... not Christmas excitement.

Isthisblocked · 25/12/2023 07:06

I’m going to be the only one here defending T13. Last hill in your family where the magic of Christmas is still there….. couldn’t the rest of you just indulge that? it’s only for another couple of years and the magic ingredient for Christmas is the child. T13 might be a teen, but there’s clearly still a lot of the child in there…… I would explain that to the older teens and ask for their indulgence and cooperation.