To just sod it all and make fish and chips?

[Creativebee]

My autistic DD has just had a meltdown about Christmas Day dinner reservations I made months ago! We’ve been through the menu a 100 times, talked about the timing and plans, written them down and yet we still had the meltdown. I’ve been in tears, me and DH have had a huge row (just out of pure frustration), the house is a tip, I’ve not bothered wrapping gifts (just thrown them into bags because I can’t be bothered and I’ve lost my Christmas spirit), I’ve still got a tonne of work stuff I need to get through before 27/12 and I am so close to cancelling but don’t have any food in the house for Christmas dinner because I wasn’t meant to make Christmas dinner for the first time in 24 years!!! All I have is frozen battered fish, a bag of chicken nuggets, one cauliflower cheese and a bag of chips. My son decided to come over last week as he wanted to spend Christmas at his home (he lives 400 miles away) so it’s just me, DH and DD hence why I decided to not cook. Not feeling festive at all.

Are there any safe food she could eat from the restaurant? For example if you explained they'd probably do some chips.

Also what are you doing for the rest of the Christmas period to have no other food in? Just feels unusual is all. I don't mean this to be rude.

Bless her. My children are also autistic (as am I)
I can tell you've done a lovely thing in planning the meal out but sometimes it is really not worth the added pressure. You have done the right thing keeping the booking and seeing how tomorrow goes. There is so much pressure around Christmas but the message of the day really is love. So take the time with your family, share your love for each other and let yourselves be yourselves. Merry Christmas when it comes OP- and fish and chips sounds perfect to me too. Go hug your hubby and remember it's ok to feel overwhelmed sometimes.

Fingers crossed they'll allow you to collect the food, OP. My heart goes out to your DD and you. It's an overwhelming and nerve jangling time of year for me, and I'm not autistic. You're all doing the best you can x

You do you for Christmas.

We've done festive pizza before - but my point is you don't HAVE to do the whole roast thing if that doesn't work for you.

Do what makes you happy!

@Sorrynotsore not rude at all, I would be thinking the same thing considering most shops are closed on Boxing Day. On Boxing Day I’m making a lentil curry with spinach (one of DDs favourite with white rice) and I’ve got a food delivery on 27th, DH is picking up some ribs from the butcher’s so we’ll have that with smashed baby potatoes and a salad (DD won’t have the salad). The rest of the days will be quick freezer meals and on New Year’s Eve I always do a buffet of finger foods (buffalo wings, breaded mushrooms, battered onion rings, nachos and wedges), I do this every year regardless of whether my son is at home or not as New Year’s Eve is very challenging for DD due to the timing change for bed so we always stay home and cook the same foods every single year and she sits in bed with us after eating With her ear defenders on before the fireworks start.

Does there need to be a timing change of bedtime on New Year’s Eve if that’s challenging for DD? We celebrate a few hours early, watch the fireworks from other countries as there’s loads online, then people who want to can go to bed at their normal time. Anyone who wants to stay up until UK new year can do, but they’re careful not to wake the sleeping ones up.

We are having whatever we like tomorrow. DH and DS are having pizzas (lovely ones we picked up from local pizzeria today and will reheat tomorrow) and me and DD are sharing a huge cheeseboard. If we aren't hosting other family we don't bother with the standard roast stuff. We had beef wellington, roasties and veg tonight anyway and are going to MILs on Boxing Day so will have another roast then. I say do what you like! Removes the stress.

Just wanted to say I hope today is going ok for you and your family OP. Enjoy your dinner however it turns out, blessings and peace from my ASN household to yours.

@signaturecollection thank you so much. Firstly, I am so glad I put this post up and thank you to everyone for your helpful responses. I’ll be the first to admit, I don’t always get it right and I have known for years my DD doesn’t do well with surprises in any form. The responses from this thread made me change things and I told my DD she had gifts (how many she had and how they were bagged and not wrapped), I asked if she wanted to know what was in them or would she like to see when she opened up, asked when she would like to open them. She decided she didn’t want to know what was in the gift bags and gave me a specific time to open gifts. Just putting everything in her hands and letting her know that it’s ok that she’s deciding what makes her feel better meant we actually managed to make it to our meal 😁. I am so very proud of her, she did so well, she initially got overwhelmed but the restaurant had put us in a quiet area, we were allowed to take our time with the menu and they even made changes to her “Christmas burger”, they even made her a portion of chips which was so good of them. We did have a meltdown earlier when she opened her Lego set and found the stickers are missing but I think I’d be pretty miffed if that happened to me so she’s had a valid reason, I’ve explained that I can go online and tell Lego the stickers are missing and they send them out, so after about 40-50 minutes she calmed down. She’s now sat downstairs with DH and watching some TV. Hoping everyone has had a lovely and calm Christmas especially those who have the challenges of ASD in their lives.

@Creativebee really happy to hear it went so well overall. Well done to your daughter and you. Sounds like you both did so well today! Merry Christmas.