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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To wonder why you are spending Christmas Day alone and how you feel about it?

101 replies

Whathappenstomyal · 24/12/2023 20:03

I’ll start :-

In my fifties with no children
NC with toxic family (Mother and siblings. Father is dead)
Recently separated from partner of 20 years
No friends.
I feel fine about being on own this Christmas after a lot of miserable ones in recent years with ex-partner.
No Christmas food in so just planning to go for a walk and then catch up with the housework.

How are others feeling about being on their own tomorrow?

OP posts:
ShittyGlitter · 24/12/2023 21:42

HannahinHampshire · 24/12/2023 20:42

I’ve spent the last 10 Christmases with my elderly mum in Scotland. Sadly she died just before Christmas last year. I thought that perhaps one of my (two) sons would invite me to theirs this year but they’re spending Christmas with their other halves families. I won’t lie, it stings - but I’ll be OK. Have posh wine and a piece of salmon for tea, looking forward to it.

Sorry for you're loss. I would give your DSs a nudge next time, I'm sure they are busy and wrapped up in their own lives but really.

Anyway I'm in Scotland you are welcome here, bring the posh wine Xmas Grin

therealcookiemonster · 24/12/2023 21:47

live by myself. no family I am close enough with or geographically close to invite over. friends have their own plans and didnt feel like trying to cudgel my way into their plans. no partner and dont have any children.

I'm Muslim but like seeing someone or other this time of year. and tbh am just as alone on eid. normally my ex husband comes over (we are still friends and both remained single since divorce) but we are trying to create more distance and move on so he is not coming.

a bit sad, but I have my big girl pants on and plenty to eat so I am sure it will be fine. tbh given the state of the world, I should feel nothing but gratitude to be safe, warm and fed.

mummysquasher · 24/12/2023 21:54

I'm on my own. DS is with his dad this year. It will be my second solo. Last time was 2021 and unplanned - I was isolating pending covid test result. It was actually quite nice so this year I decided to do it again. DB is going to see mum so I don't need to worry about her. I'll do parkrun first then spend the day on the sofa eating cheese and chocs 😁

Longlazyday · 24/12/2023 21:58

Christmas #7 since separating. Have mixed feelings about Christmas. Have planned a long walk and picnic lunch.

ithinkthatmaybeimdreaming · 24/12/2023 22:10

My parents are dead, no siblings, no children, separated from DH. Just me and my one remaining cat - and I'm having a lovely time (it's already Christmas Day here). I love spending Christmas Day alone - and reading the threads on MN today has just reinforced how fabulous it is!

Woofygoldberg · 24/12/2023 22:13

I'm not truly alone, but DP is working a 12 hr shift, so will be alone for the day.

My parents are at my Sisters, and didn't want to impose on friends, we don't have children. DP only has his mum who is in a care home.

I'm happy pleasing myself TBH.

Planning a lazy get up, Avacoado & egg toast & a walk. Then going to cook a dinner for DP and I for when he gets back at half 7ish. My Sister will face time, so I can see the mayhem & I will speak to my Mum. I've got a decent bottle of wine which I will crack once dinner is close to ready.

We should do a join in thread here tomorrow, share the bits we have enjoyed.

Original poster
Whathappenstomyal · 24/12/2023 22:15

Woofygoldberg · 24/12/2023 22:13

I'm not truly alone, but DP is working a 12 hr shift, so will be alone for the day.

My parents are at my Sisters, and didn't want to impose on friends, we don't have children. DP only has his mum who is in a care home.

I'm happy pleasing myself TBH.

Planning a lazy get up, Avacoado & egg toast & a walk. Then going to cook a dinner for DP and I for when he gets back at half 7ish. My Sister will face time, so I can see the mayhem & I will speak to my Mum. I've got a decent bottle of wine which I will crack once dinner is close to ready.

We should do a join in thread here tomorrow, share the bits we have enjoyed.

Good idea @Woofygoldberg

OP posts:
Woofygoldberg · 24/12/2023 22:23

@Whathappenstomyal sounds a plan! I will check in tomorrow morning, looking forward to hearing about all your best bits.

Have a lovely evening everyone.

Happy Christmas to you all.

LLInADaze · 24/12/2023 22:24

No one is really on their own, you still have all us on here Flowers

ZiggyZowie · 24/12/2023 22:25

To all of you spending Xmas alone,look after yourselves, go for a walk, have a bubble bath,watch a film, eat nice food,read a book,

You are safe ,you are warm, you are fed

christmaspawpaws · 24/12/2023 22:27

Not really a Christmas fan, bad memories
Single
Dad met a new partner 5 months after my mum died (they were married 50 years)
Still a bit cross over it and I don't want to spend Christmas with them
Usually go out for a meal with my dad but caught covid last year and can't risk it again
So a whole load of things really. I'm basically pretending it's not Christmas and enjoying 2 days relaxing by myself

Rainbowstripes · 24/12/2023 22:33

It's just me and my dog this year (for the first time). I'm working the days around Christmas and am a good 9 hour drive from my nearest family which is just too far for one day. Tbh I'm secretly looking forward to it - a long dog walk in the morning, nice food and sofa cuddles/Christmas films with my dog the rest of the day.

GonnaBeYoniThisChristmas · 24/12/2023 22:34

Looking forward to it.

I’ll have a lazy get-up, go for a run, long bath and hair wash, then cook something that takes time - like a chilli or bolognese. A couple of films. A nice bottle of wine…not sure if I’ve got any fizz.

And I like all the festive radio and telly, like carol services and Kings speech.

Merry Christmas to all.

Fantina · 24/12/2023 22:38

I’m home alone. The DC are with their DF and we had an early Christmas last weekend with extended family. I have received a lot of invitations but I do not want to be a spare part at someone else’s family Christmas. My DC rarely see their dad so I feel particularly burnt out and I don’t feel sad about being on my own.

I have nice bread and nibbles to get me through with no cooking. I’ve just subscribed to AppleTV too so I’ll rattle through some of those series.

SmugglersHaunt · 24/12/2023 22:39

I’m envious OP - I hope you have a a great day. My favourite Christmas was one I spent on my own

GirlsAloudReturnMadeMyYEAR · 24/12/2023 22:45

Just had an emergency and v unexpected Op, honestly I'm fine with it. I'd been so excited tonget dressed up and have a busy social one. I'm lying in my childhood bedroom to keep an eye on my parents elderly cat watching telly, got clean pjs on. Fiancee is working, insisted family still carry on with plans as I am fine. I actually have had a huge perspective shift after being I hospital. I was all go, go, go before a medical emergency and being on a ward with some lovely and poorly women, looked after by actual angels who will probably be there over Christmas made me realise how lucky I am. I feel quite warm and fuzzy and festive inside and I love that my old cat has a whole day with me. Also watching whatever I like on telly and knowing I have been told to do absolutely nothing is bliss. My old parents have already left me loads and loads of pre prepared snacks and nice bits in the fridge, feels a bit like I've gone back in time but as an adult I thought these kind of Christmases were over. Mum stroked my forehead til I fell asleep last night and got out my old blanket, I think she loves it too. They're going out tomorrow but I'm fine with that and just so glad to feel better.

PostItInABook · 24/12/2023 22:48

@GirlsAloudReturnMadeMyYEAR

Awww, your mum sounds like my mum….i.e. awesome. I hope you’re on the mend and enjoy your (enforced) relaxing. Merry Christmas. 🙂

SouthEastCoast · 24/12/2023 22:48

I celebrate Xmas with the kids in the 24th because I’m from Scandinavia, then I drive kids to their dads and spend the 25th alone. It’s not a great day to be alone with all the shops closed and no distractions.
I sometimes hate it and sometimes I’m done with it but it is a lonely day for sure.

AppleChristsBirthdayMacchiato · 24/12/2023 22:48

I lost my entire family five years ago (only child of older parents who were both only children), and although I have lots of lovely friends they all go back to their own parents in other parts of the UK for Christmas. So Christmas is always solo. Sometimes it's very tough, but I'm feeling okay this year.

narkyspirit · 24/12/2023 22:50

I'm on my own for Christmas have been for quite a few now.

NC with family for years, I will go to the Gym in the morning then potter about all day. I treat it a bit like a Sunday so will have a decent evening meal, steak with a fab cheeseboard after. back to work on 28th

an old friend got in touch from USA today who I miss having contact with which was great, but generally feel a bit low as mum passed just before Christmas a few years ago.

Faz469 · 24/12/2023 22:52

I'm unwell and DP is on nights. We have a 6 month old so I fully intend to spend as much time snuggling him as possible.

I had planned to go to my parents for a few hours but my sister is on chemo and it's just not worth the risk of passing anything on to her.

We did Christmas day today as dss is here. We will open presents in the morning and then he will go back to his mums. Once that is done I fully intend to do as little as possible.

ExTheCheater · 24/12/2023 22:53

I'm spending it alone. Quite looking forwarded to it. My mum has a house full tomorrow and I just didn't fancy it. I need some quiet time.

SomeCatFromJapan · 24/12/2023 22:54

I'll be alone, DH is away for work and won't be back till a few days after.
I've had a couple of kind invites but I'm preferring to spend the day quietly as I've had a bereavement recently.

Borris · 24/12/2023 22:59

I'm not technically alone as I'm working so will be with a couple of colleagues.

DD is with her dad. But I do have a full on proper Christmas Day planned with extended family in a couple of days time.

JussathoB · 24/12/2023 23:12

Sending love and warm wishes to all. Special love to those who find themselves alone or left out this year.
Christmas comes every year but takes many forms. I like to think that all of us who are happy either in our own company or fortunate to be surrounded by family or friends can be grateful for their blessings.
I hope any who are lonely might feel the warmth of the genuine Christmas spirit and find the strength to care for themselves.