To feel sad every year at this time.

[windywash]

Every Christmas Eve I am overcome by this feeling of sadness and I don't know why. I have nothing to be sad about but it happens every year. I enjoy the build up to Christmas but then come Christmas Eve I am tearful.

I think this can be normal and something people struggle with for so many reasons... lack of support circle at a time when people are getting together? Loss of family/friends? Financial stressors? It is an overwhelming time of year that is amplified by all the rush too.

Sending love and good wishes!

Thank you @sadmummy123456

@windywash

This time of year reminds you of past Regrets and achievements that you like to do but have got side tracked by being overwhelmed by family commitments or personal struggles of your own maybe from childhood,

It's the passage of time dwelling on that makes you realise how 🤔 quick time goes

Yes me too. I think it’s all the pressure and the thoughts of Christmas past, present and future… it reminds us of the march of time.

I think Christmas becomes complicated by the time we leave primary school if not before…

You are not alone, lots of people feel like this, me included. There is so much pressure on being happy and being with your family. I also love this time of year but get very sad. I distract myself when I find it edging in. Sending love

Me too. It started several years ago. I have nothing to really feel sad about and plenty to be grateful for, but over the Christmas period I feel quite blue. I'm trying really hard this year to not be like it and give myself a talking to.

I'm similar, no particular reason or bad memories but tend to reminisce back to the times when Xmas meant a house full of Grandparents, siblings, my kids, nieces, nephews, the widowed elderly chap my parents adopted for the festive season etc. Christmas cake, mince pies, all the good stuff.

Grandparents are long gone now, siblings have their own families, kids grown up so only really see them every other Xmas weather permitting. It's usually just me and DH nowadays but he's working tonight and then tomorrow until early evening (NHS) so I'm left home alone this time. And, I don't bother with Christmas cake or mince pies as DH doesn't like them so there's no point buying them just for me!

I feel it too OP, I do every year. My kids are happy and healthy and everyone's eating and enjoying their day, I'm holding it together but have a strange sadness, like a homesick feeling mixed with sadness in the pity of my stomach. It's so strange because I do love Christmas but this feeling comes every Christmas eve.

I don't drink at all so I'm trying to enjoy some nice desserts and coffee/fizzy drinks as alcohol makes it even worse for me.

I do always enjoy boxing day though when the pressure is gone and I breathe a sign of relief when things go back to normal again

I feel really sad this year. My husband died 3 years ago, and I miss him so much.

I am always fuckingmiserable in the run up to Christmas.

this year it’s in a disillusioned with the world sort if way. I just don’t see the point, the world is shit and I can’t do anything about it. I just feel like nothing I ever do makes a difference so what’s the point.

the previous 5 christmases I’ve been severely depressed among other things. This is the first year I’m perky (courtesy of adhd meds) I feel very level and chilled, not anxious, don’t want to just crawl in bed and die.

I just feel there’s no point to me and life. It’s not that I want to die or anything, not even vaguely.

the genocide of the Palestinians is not helping. I just feel so desparetly sad for them, and I can’t fucking do anything, and no one that can actually do something seems to fucking care.

I was a child, then I was at uni (so totally in a bubble),I worked for 10 months then had multiple breakdowns. So I wasn’t really in the world and really saw much. And now I am pretty much coming out the other side and I’m not seeing the worth in that.

im looking at the bloody Christmas tree, and thinking fuck the fucking fucking festivities.

Me too. I'm sad that I have a small family. I love them to bits but a busy house seems better in some way I can't put my finger on. Plus the ubiquitous social media where people seem to be at endless drinks parties and stuff.

Same here OP.

I have limited/ no contact with my immediate family so Xmas reminds me of all the good times we had growing up as kids and how badly it all ended.

My DH has severe chronic illness so I spend most of Christmas last year in silence next to his bed, terrified he would end up in hospital again.

I think it's also a nightmare time for people with EDs/ issues around food and disordered eating. I find the fear of weight gain really gets to me and there is pressure to join in and eat a certain way.

Ah well. One of these days I'll win the lottery and spend Xmas somewhere sunny and far away. You're all invited ofc😎

much love to everyone struggling xxx

Yes OP I hate the whole build up to Xmas and feel sad and nostalgic. I wish we could have Xmas every 4 years like the Olympics!

My parents are dead. My mum died 7 years ago, a month before Xmas. I have no siblings or kids. I do have a partner but we don't live together and he has adult kids he sees at Xmas. I've chosen to be alone on Xmas day as I can't face spending it with his kids and grandkids due to financial and health issues. The whole 'Xmas is for families' emphasis really drags me down.
I'm skint this year so we agreed not to buy presents for each other but it still hurts seeing how much he's spending on his kids and grandchildren when I get nothing.

I think many of us older Mumsnetters feel the passage of time at Xmas - time flown by and another year older. All the regrets and lost opportunities tend to surface......

I'm the same but on the evening of the 25th, for as long as I can remember. I'd guess it's because of nostalgia, general overwhelm of the festive season and feeling sad that the day has come to an end after so much preparation.

I often feel like this, but this year more than ever. It's been a strange year full of sad/heart-stoppingly terrifying/somewhere between exciting and devastating moments. And I sort of don't know what to do with myself, or how to process it all.

I don't know how 2024 can be better. And I don't know what the fuck I'm supposed to celebrate tbh.

Why can’t you buy mince pies and xmas cake just for you?

DH doesn’t like mince pies, I don’t see why that means I should miss out.

I’m with you OP. Sitting here in floods. I love Xmas Eve but this seems to happen every year. Usually caused by my partner being so horrible to me, because he can’t cope with the emotions and pressure it brings out in him. It’s just the 2 of us and he ruins it every year. I’ve just taken the dog out and had a really good cry.

@Brumbies I'm so sorry, that's so hard

Me too.

I love Christmas Eve but New Year's Eve makes me feel like this. The year my dad died I actually cried because I felt like I was leaving him behind. I think it's normal to feel that way around this time of year

Bless you brumbles, it makes this time of year harder especially when we have lost loved ones. My heart goes out to you. Thank goodness it's one week only then back to normal. Xx

I felt like that too!!
My darling dad passed from cancer February 2021. New Year’s Day 2022 I bawled my eyes out all day because, like you, I felt like I’d left him behind . ❤️

Last Christmas Eve my DH got pissed and was an absolute cunt. It’s not like him. Then because he’d drunk so much he had a seizure on Christmas Day. I was ready to leave the fucker. He’s been on best behaviour this year and has peeled and prepped all the veg ready for tomorrow.

I would usually only have 2 or 3 and that would be enough for me for another year. Don't fancy eating my way through a whole Xmas cake either!

I don't think this is uncommon at all. It's a time when loss of loved ones becomes to the forefront of our minds, it's a time that is designed to make you feel nostalgic, which brings on thoughts of time passing and opportunities gone, it's a time when you can feel isolated when others seem to have big happy gatherings, it can bring back good and bad memories of childhood and it can take you back to when everything was achievable and your whole life ahead of you.
Christmas can anchor all this because it is a very defined time every year and a marker of another year past. Add in cold winter nights and I think most people have these feelings.
It's not necessarily a bad thing if it is brief interlude, in my opinion. Helps you see the good things around you.