Stressed with living situation, it's my own fault

[Icomewiththepressure]

I shared a rented 1 bed flat with my partner of 4 years, I moved out almost a month ago as no sign of a future/commitment from him and I'm mid 30s.
It was a joint tenancy until very end of Feb, so I'm still paying my share of the rent until then, which is only fair, he cannot afford it on his own.
I've been fortunate enough to move in with my family until I find something else. Because of having to still pay the other rent, I can only afford a room share, fortunately it's only 2 months where I'll have to pay both rents.
My parents have a 2 bedroom flat and there are 4 of us here as I have a sister who's a student.
As it happens, they only moved in this week and we don't have any wardrobes yet, nor do I have a room, so it's all very cramped and lack of privacy, I don't have a choice though.
I am very grateful to them for putting me up, fortunately it's only until next week as I say and I am contributing with shopping/cleaning.
The bloody checks are taking forever with my new place, I've asked if I can move in as soon as possible but now with it being Christmas everything will be shut down for a few days.
I unfortunately cannot afford a hotel until then, I might look for one for a night however just for my sanity.
I feel guilty towards my family too, we're taking it in turns on the sofa/in a bed, as I say the minute the referencing checks are sorted out I'll be moving in.
My family live around 30 miles from where I lived with my ex, and sadly there isn't really anyone else I can stay with in the meantime/nobody has offered.
My ex has gone to visit his family for a few days, I keep feeling this immense guilt for leaving him, even though my reasons were very valid.
I suppose Christmas is an emotional time too and it's all gotten too much for me today. I gave up the flat, gym membership (won't let me cancel early) and I'm being financially disadvantaged, even though I know it was my choice to leave.
It's not an AIBU I guess, just a bit of a vent, as I say I'm very my parents have put me up, it's tough as I haven't lived at home since I was 20 ish

its not your fault op and you shouldn’t feel guilty about anything. Sometimes life has ups and downs and it just so happens you’re at a down point… it’ll soon pick up and in a few months you’ll look back and praise yourself for staying strong through everything you went through. Things will get easier x

Thank you that means a lot. I just wonder how it's all come to this, I never thought I'd be here in my mid 30s (physically and metaphorically) but hopefully things will be on the up.

I feel this guilt too as it's our first Christmas without each other after having the previous 3 together, I know he's with family at least and I'm sure he's having a good time, I just wish the guilt would go.

If he's gone to stay with his family and you're still paying the rent on your old flat, could you stay there while he's away?

I was thinking that but he will be back on the 27th and sadly there are no trains now until then (they were all cancelled today for some reason) plus I don't drive..

Ah that's a shame - I was thinking you could just hop in the car and drive there easily, but if not then it isn't worthwhile for a few days.