Can I be selfish at Christmas?

[Nimbus1999]

In a netshell, my Dad died on Friday, my dog was put to sleep yesterday, I have my kids in the morning on Christmas Day, then they’re going to my ex. Plan was always to go to my sister (and normally I love going there) to spend with her and her kids. But I just feel so miserable I think I just want to stay home and be alone. Obviously the family will be unhappy with this and they think it’s best to be with each other.

YABU - Suck it up and spend Christmas with your family, distractions will be good.

YANBU - Do want you want, stay home alone and don’t celebrate.

Yanbu in the way that you’re feeling. But don’t you think you may appreciate being there with your sister and other family once you’re there? X

You feel the way you feel but I agree with the first poster and think you will feel better if you go to your sisters. There is lots of time for grieving ahead and you will often be alone, and not by choice—maybe take this afternoon to be with your sister and other family?

So sorry to hear about your Dad and dog. There is no right or wrong when it comes to grief, do what feels right for you.

@Nimbus1999 Stay home on your own. There be either forced joviality or mutual sadness, or both but sometimes it's nice to separate yourself from this.

No-one will probably understand your feelings of grief over your dog at this time either.

Can you go to say hello and then go back home. They might actually need to see you for a bit?