…to think I should not be visiting my vulnerable parents if my son has Covid?

[ZebraDanios]

DS (6) was v ill Thursday and tested positive for Covid. Much better now but still positive. I’m supposed to be visiting my parents, along with my brother’s family, on Boxing Day. Dad is CEV. Parents say I should just go anyway. Just spoken to my brother and he agrees with them.

I understand everything’s a risk but surely knowingly taking a contagious child to visit a vulnerable elderly person is a bad idea?

We don't test anymore I have to admit but vaccinated people can still die of Covid.

The test will remain positive for months, NHS guidance for children is to isolate for 3 days only.

Guidance is not to retest as it will show positive despite being post infectious. At work we were told that it was pointless to test up to 3 months after having covid

@SteadyEddi A PCR can remain positive for months but most LFTs will be negative after two weeks at most.

As has been mentioned, NHS guidance is aimed at getting kids back to school and adults back to work, not at keeping vulnerable people safe.

@BigandBeefy how long did it last for.
I wonder if it's more infectious this time.
In the past each of us has had it but not at the same time and we didn't pass it on.

If vaccinated then all lower risk. Up to your hosts

i’m guessing you were very much a staunch supporter Op of the lockdowns

Not necessarily. ‘Don’t take sick children to visit frail elderly people’ has been considered good manners and common sense forever, surely? The ability to test for a specific virus posing a statistically disproportionate risk to the elderly, and the development of vaccines to reduce this risk somewhat, is new - and in many ways wonderful - but the general advice has always held good.

Given these parents are hosting a large crowd including multiple children… i’m guessing they’re not too “elderly and frail”

Added to which
both fully vaccinated
both have had it and experienced it very mildly (although of course that can change second time around)

Absolutely. We aren’t an anxious family nor very rigid but we don’t take the small children to see our elderly grandparent (she’s 91) if they’re snotty.

you wouldn’t take this 91 year old woman’s precious grandchild to see her if he was “snotty”????

i took my 10 year old who was snotty to visit her very aged aunt.

The joy of that visit was incredible. Lovely memory of the two of the them playing cats cradle and snap together, and then my daughter did a gymnastics and dance performance for her

the thought of her not having had that because of a snotty nose 😞

covid positive? no

covid positive after day 5, child otherwise well, parents desperate and vaccinated and in good health generally (yes father has CEV but by sounds of it having suffered for a day with covid previously and up for hosting a large multi generational christmas at his!) - then yes

Do you actually want to go?

It’s her great grandchildren and no, we don’t go if the young kids are unwell. Bigger kids is easier to keep a tiny bit of distance. If it’s just a bit of snotty nose, then it’s her choice. We always ask her what she wants.
If they’re snotty and coughing beyond the usual, we would postpone. We see her at least twice a week but usually more, to be fair, so missing the odd visit isn’t a hardship.

Bit dramatic.

My grandmother wouldn’t want a toddler with a snotty cold. When she gets unwell, it makes life much harder for her. She’s fragile and disabled due to her age. She sees her great grandchildren all the time though.

@nutster I guess we all handle risk and uncertainty differently.

My problem with Covid is that there’s still a lot that’s unknown about it. Every time you get it it’s a roll of the dice - you could be fine one time and really ill the next. And there’s evidence that even mild cases cause long-term damage (it raises your risk of a stroke/heart attack for up to a year for instance). That is not something I want on my conscience if I can avoid it.

When my parents did have Covid I spent a week and a half in a state of constant anxiety because I was so worried they would suddenly take a turn for the worse - I can’t imagine how much worse I’d have felt if it was my decision that caused them to catch it.

bit dramatic?

somewhat ironic!

how’s it been left with your folks OP?

@nutster DS was still positive yesterday so we didn’t go. BUT…DH tested positive this morning so it’s very possible he had it and was contagious too. Just means we have to wait even longer til we’re all clear now 😕

Given these parents are hosting a large crowd including multiple children… i’m guessing they’re not too “elderly and frail”

Being elderly or frail has absolutely nothing to do with being CEV, of which the OPs dad is.

OP you made a decision you could live with, that's your choice. In my opinion it's a good choice, I don't like paying around illnesses if I can help it.

To be fair, I was clear that my children (and the other great grandchildren) regularly see their 91 year old great grandmother who is frail and more vulnerable to germs. Skipping the occasional visit isn’t any reason to be sad. 🤷🏻‍♀️
It’s not as if we miss a once a year visit due to a few sneezes. An unwell toddler doesn’t need to be with an elderly vulnerable person (who they see twice a week minimum!). An older kid with a cold is different. They know basic hygiene. A snotty nose due to teething is different too.

I wouldn’t take an actually unwell small child to see their vulnerable elderly relative for a bog standard visit. It can wait a few days. Nothing sad about it. My grandma is very lucky to have so many grandchildren and great grandchildren!