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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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8 replies

Surreyfirsttimemum · 24/12/2023 11:21

So it’s Xmas eve at 11.20am my newly divorced mother and her boyfriend are staying with us over Xmas they were meant to arrive lunchtime yesterday (I asked for timing weeks in advance) and sent a text saying they’re visiting a friend on the way down and will probably arrive today instead (it’s a 3hr drive here). The friend is a good two hour drive from here I’ve messaged now at 11am for an eta today and silence. Our DS is 5 months and we’re hosting them although all off for Christmas Day to my lovely in laws too so we have a bedtime like 630/7pm from which time DS has a very long breastfeed so I’m basically upstairs until bedtime. AIBU being so annoyed at having no updates on when they’re arriving? DM has complained she doesn’t see DS enough but she is literally leaving on Boxing Day so hasn’t really made it a priority… DH thinks they are probably not awake yet as they seem to be partying a lot and frankly on a different time zone to us!

OP posts:
WhereIsBebèsChambre · 24/12/2023 11:24

So they think you should just hang about till they decide they're done with their partying? Sounds like the friends are the main event and you're just a bed the night before they get their catered Christmas Dinner!

WhereIsBebèsChambre · 24/12/2023 11:26

It's the 'probably' that annoys me for you! Likelihood of "we'll just meet you at inlaws'?

OrigamiOwls · 24/12/2023 11:27

Go about your day, don't make a special effort for them - ie put DS to bed at his normal bedtime, don't let them disrupt your routine.

They are showing you where you are on the pecking order (below their friends at least). Put in the same amount of effort they put in.

Surreyfirsttimemum · 24/12/2023 11:27

Yeah I mean this is how it feels! The friend is the main event plus the big night out they had on Friday. It is rubbish too because it’s hard having a new baby and I have a referral for potential PPD in the new year my mum knows I’m struggling because I called her in tears earlier in the week and it just feels like the effort being made for us in particular is just almost zero! I literally told them being no food or presents just come. We’ve been cleaning and food shopping in anticipation I also got them a few small gifts each too. I say no gifts because I know she is struggling financially.

OP posts:
Quitelikeit · 24/12/2023 11:27

How about you just go about things as if they weren’t coming?

I would

Surreyfirsttimemum · 24/12/2023 11:28

Oh they have nowhere to stay except here so they’ll turn up at some point I am sure!

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Surreyfirsttimemum · 24/12/2023 11:30

All I can say is thank god for my in laws because if I was making Xmas dinner too I would be beyond angry.

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Houseplantmad · 24/12/2023 11:30

This is awful for you but stick to what suits you and they will just have to fit in. If your mum complains, don’t respond.

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