Hairdresser, I urgently need your advice

[DinosaurQuilt]

Posting for traffic

or AIBU to take the scissors to DD (24) hair?

DD is 24. She says she’s growing her hair to donate to a teenage cancer charity for wigs. Admirable and super lovely of her.

BUT

she hasn’t been to the hairdressers for at least 18 months (she doesn’t live at home so I can’t March her off on a Saturday). Her hair is raggedy with split ends, broken hair and it is dry, very dry at the ends. She is also vegetarian so isn’t getting any collagen to help with the protein content in her hair. She also eschews plastic bottles so uses shampoo bars and not a lot of conditioner as far as I can tell. I have strong words to describe how her hair looks but it’s Christmas and I do love her really so I won’t say it.

She is home for Christmas. I want to get some sharp scissors and trim the ends off (a good inch).

Please will you list ALL the reasons why I should do this. Mine are:

It will make her hair look better while she’s growing it.
It will make her look more professional at work.
The charity won’t accept her hair while it’s in shocking condition.
The broken hair strands and split hair will work its way up the hair shaft and make growing her hair actually take longer as she will never get the full head of thick long hair while it’s weak at the ends and breaking off.
She needs to add argan oil to her hair care routine.

Please help me say the above and anything else in a NICE way to her otherwise I’m going to have a massive argument with her and that will be crap for everyone.

But I’m right aren’t I! And the “her hair, her rules” doesn’t apply as she’s actually growing it for other people so it needs to be good for them.

TIA and merry Christmas.

I'm with you OP,I'd offer and explain nicely but then obviously you will have to leave it at that. It hard to step down being a mum .

My sister in law regularly donated her hair. They Like it in 12 inch lengths and the website shows you how to cut it yourself. So I'm sure she can afford the ends to be sorted out, but I'm sorry you come across as a bully, and as someone who sees her mum once a decade because of self esteem crushing behaviour and comments like this I caution you to approach this with tact. Or you will get the same result.

At 24 she can do what she bloody wants to with her hair.

Also your vegetarian comment is so misinformed. I’m veggie and my hair is absolutely fine - bring veggie doesn’t mean people are all suddenly deficient in protein! Just an old fashioned attitude to have.

Your unhinged. She is not your property she is a person. Stop trying to tell your adult children what to do

Younger daughter here, 15, who had lovely hair but using GHD’s far too much, and wants to grow it longer, I know our hairdresser was visibly shocked by condition when I took her for a trim (I didn’t drag her there btw, he’s always done her hair). His advice to her, stop using GHDs so much and if she wants to grow it longer, have a more regular trim to rid the split ends otherwise these will just split even longer, a regular trim will mean she can still grow it, but have healthy hair. I do sympathise, my DD won’t be told by me, but has listened to the hairdresser! I guess in your case it’s just getting her there.

Are you right that the charity won't accept damaged hair? Yes of course

Are you right to mention it as you have in your OP? No. You clearly have a bigger issue with your DDs hair over being concerned she won't be able to donate it. Its not urgent is it? Her hair has some split ends. It's not your issue if it looks messy.

All I would do is say something like "do you want to get your ends trimmed to keep your hair in good condition before donation'. If she says no butt out. She will learn in her own time

I had to laugh at the dig at her being a vegetarian is partly to blame for her hair condition, I'm a vegetarian and have good thick shiney hair, also shampoo out a plastic bottle isn't better than a shampoo bar, honestly you sound like an interfering judgemental person, hardly surprising she doesn't come home much.

Could you ask her if she'd like your help to use a conditioning treatment and you'll trim the ends for her? As a treat and a pamper rather than because you think she looks unprofessional.

Ultimately, it's her hair and you can be 100% right about the damage without winning this argument as she has the casting vote.

Maybe treat her to a silk pillowcase for Christmas? That's what I've asked my mum for 😊