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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Choosing my own Xmas presents

40 replies

chihuahuafairy · 24/12/2023 06:38

Is it acceptable to choose and order my own Xmas presents from my dh?Joint finances and tight budget. I order what I want/need for Xmas. This year will be new boots,jumper a pretty little hair clip,handbag and some pjs. All stuff I need and cheaply priced.i have a lot of free next day delivery passes and voucher codes with these websites. Dh thinks its a bit rubbish I have no suprises and he doesn't get to choose,but he likes to buy more expensive brands that I don't see the value in and also left to his own devices will get stuff I really don't need so it seems a waste of money!

OP posts:

Baneofmyexistence · 24/12/2023 08:25

I mostly order my own stuff too. And then I just have them because I hate opening wrapped presents I’ve already bought myself and seen 😂 Completely against the Christmas spirit but whilst my DH means well he is not very good at choosing gifts. If I am very specific and send a link he gets that though, he doesn’t deviate! I’d rather just have what I want and no waste. Just do what works for you!

Ifulikepinacoladas · 24/12/2023 08:26

rochenutty · 24/12/2023 06:43

you need our permission? 🤔

anyway, i’m a single parent. Every year my ex transfer £50 to me to buy myself something, which i then pass to him, which he then passes to our daughter and says he bought this for me and she can wrap and give.

works well and win win for all!

That's so nice 😊

Girasoli · 24/12/2023 08:30

I made DH type in all the details for the present he wanted this year and then I paid - it was a football shirt and I didn't want to accidentally get last seasons or the away kit etc.

I also sent DH a link to what I wanted on amazon. I let him choose the colour.

We did each wrap each others presents though so we can be 'surprised'.

Original poster

chihuahuafairy · 24/12/2023 08:34

Just interested to know if anyone else requests what they want from partners or leaves it entirely up to them? And how successful that is? 🤣 I think a wish list for next year would be a good idea to give the other some ideas and also take a little of the pressure off!

OP posts:

DinkyDonkey2018 · 24/12/2023 08:36

thedamnseason · 24/12/2023 08:13

Why don't you do a list (with links if helpful) with plenty of stuff for him to choose from and he can also get you a couple of surprises too?

This is exactly what we do in our house. We are both a nightmare to buy for so we just create a list and it's always a surprise what the other chose to buy, but it's not a bunch of crap we don't want or need
Win win!

MightyGoldBear · 24/12/2023 08:37

We use a app called family gift. You add on all the things you actually want and can add priorities to them if you want. Then your family/dh can choose what they get you without you knowing exactly. Works best if you add a fair few things on.8
So it's a win win.

ItsNotaCabbage · 24/12/2023 08:55

Me and DH do this. He is a bit rubbish at present buying so it’s better I actually get something I want. We spend £10 getting each other an extra surprise. Even that is usually something I don’t really want but it keeps the element of surprise!!!!!

sleepyscientist · 24/12/2023 09:04

We send each other a list of things we want but wouldn't just buy for ourselves. Normally we get each other one or two of them. We each have a credit card the purchase goes on that (so the other one can't see on the bank statement) which we pay off in January.

Makes it a surprise what you are getting but it's something you want. We then usually get bits like perfume and socks to go with it.

This year I've got another pair of boots out of five options plus some charms and he has an Hugo Boss shirt with a smart watch.

ShippingNews · 24/12/2023 09:04

Of course ! I've been doing this for years. Go for it !

EverySporkIsSacred · 24/12/2023 09:21

If it means you get some nice things to open on Christmas Day that you appreciate and want to use rather than tat you don't want and don't need them I say more power to you!

thedamnseason · 24/12/2023 09:47

chihuahuafairy · 24/12/2023 08:34

I can't leave it up to him because I end up with stuff that's nearly right or stuff I just don't want.

Abracadabra12345 · 24/12/2023 18:27

There's so much angst from women who give hints but he just doesn't get it and then it ends in disappointment. Reminds me of the video joke (which I can't find) where the driver is talking about how his wife's been leaving around all these holiday magazines. Been going on for weeks, all the time.

It ends with, "I know what she wants. Got her a nice magazine rack."

Abracadabra12345 · 24/12/2023 18:31

chihuahuafairy · 24/12/2023 08:34

Yes a wish list is fine but I LOVE choosing my own gifts and indulging myself, it's great! Then I either send him the links or order it and give them to him. By the time I open them, I've half-forgotten what they are so it's a sort of surprise.

crumblenut · 26/12/2023 06:56

This reply has been deleted

This has been deleted by MNHQ for breaking our Talk Guidelines.

NonSequentialRhubarb · 26/12/2023 08:15

It's a bit rubbish that you do the ordering. And I can see why it doesn't feel like gifting to him.

Can you not make a longer list and DH picks some things from that and maybe adds a couple of small extras he chooses. Then you still get what you like and he gets to surprise you. That's basically what we do.

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