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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Christmas present.

7 replies

filthypride · 24/12/2023 05:18

Little bit of context. I'm a single mum with next to no money. I struggle week to week with bills so Christmas is a huge stress to me. I save through the year to get gifts. I don't buy for many, but it's still stressful.

I also need to preface this by saying I am by no means materialistic. My mother hasn't got me anything. I told my son not to get me anything because I rather give to them and show my appreciation.

My sister and I have a very hot/cold relationship, she hates me most of the time because I was born but during one of her good periods she told my mum that she'd got me a 'lovely' present, so mum said I should get her something too (which I wouldn't have because, money is tight).

My sister is currently going through a cold phase but as she'd even thought of getting me something I found her a beautiful lamp, a really nice one so I got her that. Wasn't cheap but definitely wasn't silly money (£30 which is a fair amount to me who buys their clothes from charity shops whereas my sister shops fancy 'cause she can afford it, exceptionally well off).

Yesterday she dropped off presents at the back door, didn't even let us know she'd been. When we opened the carrier bag there were three presents in there. None were wrapped, just put in open gift bags so we could clearly see what they were. One was my mother's coat, that was very obvious and the other two gift bags had 2 small boxes of 6 Bailey's chocolates in them. This confused my mum cause that wasn't what the 'lovely' present she told my mum she'd got me. She's clearly decided not to give me that. Also, the 3rd present was for my diabetic step father who can't eat sweets.

Am I being unreasonable for being a tad annoyed that I spent money that I couldn't really afford on someone who doesn't like me only to not be receiving the present that I was meant to get, which I now know it was supposed to be a small bottle of Zara perfume and I didn't know that before I bought hers (about £12). I would have been over the moon with the scent, it's more of the fact she decided to give that to someone else and give me the sweets.

OP posts:
BlissfullyIgnorant · 24/12/2023 05:22

Can you get a refund on the lamp?

PivotPivotmakingmargaritas · 24/12/2023 05:23

Sell/ return the lamp and next year agree in advance your present to each other is no presents and therefore not have to spend money on each other…. Sigh you can’t choose siblings hey

ilovelamp82 · 24/12/2023 05:26

Return the lamp. Bonus £30 back for you. Get yourself something nice that you wouldn't normally buy for yourself.

Then if you're feeling brave, regift her 6 chocolates back to her.

OneMoreMyWay · 24/12/2023 05:36

Return the lamp.

Buy a new gift bag.
Put inside the chocs intended for your FIL.
Hand over to you sister with a little tinkly laugh - what a coincidence you bought each other the same gift!

Buy FIL something nice that he can eat.

Don't let yourself be sucked in again. This has happened to me one too many times and I no longer buy for my sibling. Cards only. If you feel you must give something, make some biscuits.

Edit:typo

filthypride · 24/12/2023 05:43

My brain never thought of returning it!

OP posts:
caringcarer · 24/12/2023 06:27

filthypride · 24/12/2023 05:43

My brain never thought of returning it!

Pop it back tomorrow. Get a refund and buy your stepdad some thing small instead.

BluebellsForest · 24/12/2023 06:31

Not what you're asking, but this jumped out:

I told my son not to get me anything because I rather give to them and show my appreciation.

Let your son buy you a small gift. Giving and receiving are both important. It's important to let him give to you, however small.

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