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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

DH useless at Christmas

8 replies

Fieryone · 23/12/2023 23:55

I’m so pissed off, DH has done nothing for Christmas for several years. For last 10years it’s been about his family drama non stop and this year he’s been miserable, done nothing other than collect the food shop I ordered, which he thinks I should be majorly grateful for. He’s not wrapped a single present, done anything for the kids other than collect one present and I’ve been stuck putting everything together. I’m so fed up. I’ve not slept in weeks trying to juggle work and home and make Christmas special for what will be our kids last year of believing (eldest is off to secondary next year).

he’s gone the match today and not come home, ignoring my calls and lying about where he is. I’m so frustrated, I’ve had to put up with so much from his family and I can’t believe he’s doing this the night before Christmas Eve. I’ve had enough but I know kids will be gutted if he not there tomorrow, but tbh I don’t think he deserves it.

OP posts:
cestlavielife · 23/12/2023 23:57

Why would he change this year?
He has gotten away with it for 10 years already

Babyroobs · 23/12/2023 23:58

Mumsnet seems to be full of threads of useless husbands. I don't know why people put up with it all year after year. Give him a list of jobs to do, if he doesn't do it then it's on him. Is he this useless all year round ? If so why are you still with him?

Fieryone · 24/12/2023 00:00

He’s not useless all year round, but it annoys me that people just expect us to give them lists like babies. Why can’t they proactively help out

OP posts:
IDoLikeToBeByTheSea · 24/12/2023 00:00

Surely he’s this useless all year round? Or is it because the day to day is less pressured than Christmas? Does he proactively get birthday presents/cards? Plan holidays/days out?

Fieryone · 24/12/2023 00:01

fair point. He lost his mum few years back and it was a nightmare in years running up to it and in all honesty I think I’ve prob enabled things to be the norm now but it’s really bothering me now and I feel I’m running on empty

OP posts:
Grimchmas · 24/12/2023 00:02

What would happen if you put your feet up on Christmas day and played with the kids, and told him you're done and that it's his turn to cook and clean up for one day?

Fieryone · 24/12/2023 00:03

He’s good through the year - will plan the holidays, he blames pressure of having business, tax return this time of year but i work full time so don’t think it’s fair to blame that

OP posts:
Grinchwithlove · 24/12/2023 00:28

This time of year brings a lot of stress to family life Maybe you're just over doing things trying to hard.
Chill out sit down with some tea and relax for a while now the kids are in bed.

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