Is it a faux pas to give them a Christmas gift unexpectedly

[ChocolateTVandbaby]

Is it poor etiquette to give someone a small Christmas gift if you haven't in the past and don't usually do so? I have a friend I have known for about 3 years. In this time we've become closer and we went out for a meal last night so I took a gift - just some wine and chocolates.

Something I read on another thread made me wonder if this is a bad thing as it could make someone uncomfortable?

I don't believe in pre-arranging gift giving. I just give gifts to whom I want to and my friends are the same. Everyone I had nightmares a gift for this year had bought one for us too.

It was a kind thing to do but if I was you friend, my appreciation would have been outweighed by my discomfort.

It's bad enough when you agree to do token presents and then the other person has spent a lot more on you than you have on them.

I'd feel really awkward if a friend gave me a present and I didn't have one for her because we don't usually exchange gifts.

Giving a gift should never be poor etiquette. I'm with you on this - if you feel you wish to give, do so. Don't overthink, and life's too short for this extra angst.

I dont think it was bad… but then I did blether on and on to my friend (who had popped in with presents for us) all about all the boxes of biscuits and chocolates I got at work (nurse!) and how I’d given a box to the dustbin men on arriving home from work… only to realise when she left that one of her parcels was indeed a box of chocolates 🤦🏻‍♀️ She is probably thinking I will be giving that away next!

I would hate this and feel uncomfortable and indebted. I would rather have no gift and not feel an obligation to buy a gift for the person next year. It's stressful enough buying for family. I would probably be considered miserable though - but I love Christmas!

Life's way too short. If you want to give a gift then give one.
I am sure you do not gift with the hope of being gifted back, so it is fine.

I think there is a way of given a gift and stating it's a gesture or a token and that you don't want/need for it to be reciprocated. A bottle of wine and some chocs should cause too much embarrassment.

My son's friend is autistic and doesn't stay/eat at other houses which means his mum always hosts. She is happy to do as the boys are such good friends. My son went for a pre-christmas dinner and I sent gifts for mum and son with a note saying a festive thank you for the dinners and sleepovers. She rang to say thank you which was perfect, no need to get into the present exchange.

I think it was fine, it was only wine and chocolates.

Yeah it was a token gift, not expensive but think they'd like it. I wasn't expecting anything back as it was the last time we were seeing them before Christmas. I think I also did it because we were seeing them so close to Christmas but on Mumsnet it seems like it's a faux pas to give a gift.

I hate the opposite - I have a friend who always asks if we're doing presents which I find odd as none of my other friends do this but realise I'm the odd one out there!