Currently upstairs trying to defuse a situation that I am left wondering if I am in the wrong for and so I thought a post on here may leave some clarity.
Me and my partner have DS who is 16 months, a DD who is 5 and my partner has a son who is 11. DS is rather clingy to me and due to still breastfeeding, I am more often then not a walking dummy (we’re working on it!), this has meant that it’s only been the last couple of months that I’ve been able to leave him for longer periods of time. So today I thought that I would go out and have some girl time just me and DD and go watch a film at the cinema, have some lunch and grab last few bits of Christmas shopping. Had a really nice day together and was gone for around 5 hours. When we got home, as soon as I got in the door I could hear in my partners voice that he had, had a drink. I asked him if he had and he snapped back ‘yes, why is that a problem?’ - thought to myself here we bloody go. I just said ‘I don’t think it’s the best idea to be drinking whilst you’re in sole charge of DS as you need eyes in the back of your head with him at the best of times!’ - that was it then and as he’d been drinking he was defensive straight away and started calling me all sorts including an effing see you next Tuesday, calling me absolutely vile, telling our daughter I’m absolutely evil and it’s my fault that daddy is shouting and stuff like that.
Don’t get me wrong, my partner wasn’t absolutely out of his face drunk, he had managed to make tea for us for example, and I understand it’s Christmas and people like to let loose a little - but surely responsibility comes first? Or am I being uptight?
If DS was a older then it wouldn’t bother me as much, but he’s still very much at the age of trying to cause all sorts of havoc, he actually has a fat lip which was apparently caused by him falling over - just typical it happens today eh?
This argument then resulted in him saying he’s going out and taking his step son home so he doesn’t have to listen to the arguing (by arguing he means him shouting at me) which meant he was planning on driving, insisting he wasn’t drunk. I’ve hid his keys because I can still hear it in his voice that he is over the limit. Told him I’ll stay upstairs out of his way so he doesn’t need to leave (as much as I bloody wish he would), but the whole evening he’s just kept returning upstairs to demand his keys and give me more verbal abuse, telling me I’ve caused all this when I can honestly say that apart from trying to put my point across for about 10 minutes whilst we were downstairs, I’ve honestly not said a word to him and just let him unload on me apart from asking him to please leave it when our daughter has been upset at him shouting. He’s fallen out with his mum as well about it and told me it’s my fault that he’s called his mum a see you next Tuesday as well, telling me I’m a control freak cause I’ve hid his keys.
So heartbroken, my daughter is Christmas obsessed and tomorrow is obviously Christmas Eve and she’s so so excited. Just don’t know what to do moving forward, she’s been so upset tonight crying that she doesn’t want daddy to go and asking for my reassurance that he will be here when she wakes up. What do I do 🥺