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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Christmas + Covid + Pregnant

32 replies

QueSyrahSyrah · 23/12/2023 16:20

Less of a AIBU and more of a WWYD?

Due to spend tomorrow with SIL and family including MIL who's elderly and travelled from abroad, for that side of the family's traditional Christmas. MIL is staying with them.

She's just called to let us know BIL has covid.

Wouldn't typically phase me at all as I've had it twice with little ill-effect but now I'm 17 weeks pregnant (and I'm 40).

I had my booster last week so in truth I'm probably the safest of anyone there, but on the other hand it seems silly to knowingly risk it. DH just looks so disappointed to miss Christmas dinner with his Mum though Sad

What would you do? Stay away or go anyway and give BIL a wide berth (not especially easy as they're not in the biggest house).

OP posts:
Tinkerbyebye · 23/12/2023 16:21

I would not go

Ladysodor · 23/12/2023 16:35

I’d go and just take care which is exactly what you’d do if you had a cold/flu etc. We have to stop treating covid like the plague.

Bigcat25 · 23/12/2023 16:37

If stay home. Covid can have long term effects on the baby.

Mojolostforever · 23/12/2023 16:38

I wouldn't risk it. Not everything is known about covid yet.

Oxborn · 23/12/2023 16:40

I’m currently in bed with Covid had all my jabs this is the 4th time and by far the worst

Oxborn · 23/12/2023 16:41

I definitely wouldn’t go

wavingatthesky · 23/12/2023 16:41

do not go - could affect baby. x

Evenstar · 23/12/2023 16:42

I wouldn’t consider it in your situation, sorry. Is BIL your sister in law’s husband or husband’s brother? If he doesn’t live there it would be extremely selfish of him to go.

DrinkFeckArseBrick · 23/12/2023 16:43

I wouldn't risk it, if something happened to the baby you'd never forgive yourself. People get ill and miss christmas day all the time, it's life

Sapphire387 · 23/12/2023 16:44

Ladysodor · 23/12/2023 16:35

I’d go and just take care which is exactly what you’d do if you had a cold/flu etc. We have to stop treating covid like the plague.

What does 'just take care' mean?

It's an illness spread by respiratory droplets. How can OP avoid it?

I wouldn't go if I were you, OP. Your husband is of course disappointed to miss the event but would he really want you risking your health?

Original poster
QueSyrahSyrah · 23/12/2023 16:48

BIL is SIL's husband (well, partner but easier to say BIL). They live in the same house. We were there 2 nights ago but he was only around for a few minutes anyway.

Thanks all for making me feel better about not going. DH just looks so sad, but it is for the best.

He'll drive round tomorrow to hand over gifts and give his Mum a quick hug in the garden.

OP posts:
DemelzaRobins · 23/12/2023 18:28

I am also 17 weeks pregnant and wouldn't go. I had my Covid jab at 4 weeks (I'm asthmatic and take immunosuppressants so am entitled to the jab in my own right) - if you only recently had yours it probably won't have kicked in yet.

It's a shame to miss the planned Christmas but it's better safe than sorry IMO.

Nevermindtheteacaps · 23/12/2023 18:29

Bigcat25 · 23/12/2023 16:37

If stay home. Covid can have long term effects on the baby.

Hey, would you mind citing the peer reviewed evidence on this please?

HungryandIknowit · 23/12/2023 18:30

I don't think I'd go. But I wouldn't go if it was flu and I was pregnant either.

MegaMeg2710 · 23/12/2023 18:31

@Bigcat25 evidence please? Not sure that’s correct…

ohhollyfred · 23/12/2023 18:34

I wouldn't go. I had Covid when I was 32 weeks pregnant last Christmas and I had had my vaccine not long before. I felt horrible and babies heart rate reacted to mine and went really high and they nearly took her out.

On the plus side she has been unknowingly exposed to it earlier this month and didn't get it so her immunity via me must still be good!

Original poster
QueSyrahSyrah · 23/12/2023 18:38

ohhollyfred · 23/12/2023 18:34

I wouldn't go. I had Covid when I was 32 weeks pregnant last Christmas and I had had my vaccine not long before. I felt horrible and babies heart rate reacted to mine and went really high and they nearly took her out.

On the plus side she has been unknowingly exposed to it earlier this month and didn't get it so her immunity via me must still be good!

Oh gosh how frightening! We are definitely not going. SIL has got the majority of the traditional food so she's going to portion some up for us and DH will pick it up when he drops their presents.

OP posts:
howdoyoudotoo · 23/12/2023 18:43

Sounds like you've already made your decision, I wouldn't be going either, most pregnant women are fine, but some aren't and it's just not worth the risk. Best case scenario you end up feeling unwell for a couple of weeks and the baby is fine. Even that I would want to avoid.

PinkPlantCase · 23/12/2023 18:48

if It’s important to you make sure your DH understands that when he drops the presents off he really shouldn’t be popping inside for a quick drink.

howdoyoudotoo · 23/12/2023 18:49

@Nevermindtheteacaps you're of the opinion Covid in pregnancy has no impact on the baby are you then?

Of the studies that provided data on the timing of birth, there were 65 (23.6%) preterm neonates. One baby was born dead from a mother who also died from COVID-19. Of the babies born alive from mothers with COVID-19, five newborns faced critical conditions, and two later died.

https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC8017514/

Comparing the pregnancy outcomes show that caesarean delivery (OR: 3; CI: 2-5), low birth weight (LBW) (OR: 9; CI: 2.4-30) and preterm birth (OR: 2.5; CI: 1.5-3.5) are more probable in pregnant woman with COVID-19 than pregnant women without COVID-19. The most prevalent neonatal complications are neonatal intensive care unit admission (43% [2-96]), fetal distress (30% [12-58]) and LBW (25% [16-37]).

https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC7883245/

That's just from a quick search but if you have evidence showing absolutely no consequences to the baby from Covid infections in pregnant women, please do share them.

Original poster
QueSyrahSyrah · 23/12/2023 18:58

PinkPlantCase · 23/12/2023 18:48

if It’s important to you make sure your DH understands that when he drops the presents off he really shouldn’t be popping inside for a quick drink.

He's well aware. He may have a quick drink in the garden with his Mum (and without BIL!) if it's not raining but he absolutely won't go in the house.

OP posts:
matleavelove · 23/12/2023 19:06

Do not go! I got it at 30 weeks and was terribly ill. Ended up hospitalised and they thought I had sepsis at one point i was that bad. I had had it once before though and was very poorly but it floored me even more being pregnant.

matleavelove · 23/12/2023 19:08

But also if he's the one ill can't he not go? Pregnant or not I wouldn't be happy knowing someone was there with Covid.

alrighthen · 23/12/2023 19:11

I wouldn’t. I’m in my second trimester and currently have covid. Risks to baby aside, I am thoroughly miserable! Like you, I was boosted this autumn yet I still feel like death. Save yourself while you can!

Original poster
QueSyrahSyrah · 23/12/2023 19:12

matleavelove · 23/12/2023 19:08

But also if he's the one ill can't he not go? Pregnant or not I wouldn't be happy knowing someone was there with Covid.

He lives there, and so does everyone else attending. No sense in the well ones coming to us instead as they've been exposed to him all week so probably just a matter of time until they test positive too.

If I wasn't pregnant we'd probably still go just for the meal, both DH and I having had it more than once before and not being any more ill than a cold.

OP posts: