DH last minute work plans

[SunnydaleQueen]

Sorry it's another Christmas related one, but I need a bit of perspective.

For background info, we have been married for 15 years and have 4 children (14,11,9&4).

In those 15 years, we have had 1 Christmas where both of us had Christmas day and boxing day off work together.

This year we are both off for Christmas and boxing day and have made plans to spend 25th with extended family and then have our own Christmas lunch on 26th with just the kids and everything has been bought and prepared for this.

This morning he has told me that he's now agreed to swap a shift with someone he works with, and will now be working boxing day.

He works in a restaurant with 10 staff, 8 of them are Muslim and don't celebrate Christmas at all, 1 is Muslim but married to a non Muslim so they do celebrate (this is relevant because they have time off over Eid and other religious days) and dh is not Muslim.

Aibu for being annoyed he's left it until last minute and then changed plans, when this is only the 2nd Christmas in 15 years that we have both been off for Christmas and boxing day? It's the only time we will have off together over the festive period as the restaurant is busy and I'm a nurse so will be working my usual day and night shifts.

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Do you need the money? Is that why he's done it?

Unless it was that or the other person had a really good reason to need to swap I'd be cross as well

How is your relationship in general and how is he in himself?
If this is only the second Christmas in 15 years that you've both been together with the kids it should be something precious and important to you both. If he's so easily swapped a shift then to me it's a clear sign that he has checked out, either of the marriage or the family or both.

We don't particularly need money. We aren't well off but we aren't really struggling either because we live in a cheap area in the NE and live within our means, bills are always paid and there's usually money left at the end of the month.

He seems OK in himself, no major issues. I don't think there was an important reason that he swapped, the other person just wanted the day off.

He thinks I'm being unreasonable as it's his work which I understand because I've also had to work Christmas / boxing day / birthdays ect over the years and will be working the Christmas eve night shift this year! But I'd swap a shift that means our plans have to change last minute without an extremely good reason.

*I'd never

He should have at least spoken to you before agreeing

You're right to be annoyed, I'd be fuming!!! What hours is he working? What's the reason for the swap?

He would be working from 12 midday till midnight. So would be leaving the house at 11am and won't get home till about 1am on 27th.

There is no other reason than one of his workmates would like the day off, which I can understand, but as this is the second time in 15 years we've had both Christmas and boxing day off at the same time I thought he would have refused. Our two youngest kids have never had a Christmas where both parents were home and I was really looking forward to the family time!

He should have run it past you, if bed seething silently.