To think my supposed friend is really insensitive?

[Moneyworriess1]

Me and DH work in relatively low paid jobs, combined income just under 50k. My friend knows we are struggling with rent as we had to move areas this year as our rent had gone up so high we couldn’t afford it. My friend earns something over 50k, I don’t know what, but I do know 5 years ago she was on this as I was thinking about re training in her industry and we talked lots about it. In the end I couldn’t afford to re train.

Anyway she split from her child’s father a year ago and he pays all her nursery and 150 on top for anything else. Anytime I see her now she constantly comments on how she can’t afford to travel far as she’s a single parent so can I come to her etc. Or shes a single parent now so logistically could I come to her and so on. Am I being unfair to think she is being insanely insensitive? Me and dh pay out 900 a month in nursery which leaves us with less than she has to travel? Plus she works from home and I work shifts so have no flexibility? Am I being unfair or missing something here? I don’t want to get into a conversation about money with her but I feel hurt she hasn’t even considered the cost we are paying and just because there’s two of us doesn’t actually mean we are better off!!

I'd say "sorry I'm struggling too and I've come the last X amount of times. "

See what she says.

If she questions you you could tell her your annual wage and explain after nursery fees and rent there's not much spare. See how she responds.

How does 2x 25 bring home more than 1x 50? Are you thinking tax? Don't forget she's getting nursery fees paid which will be £??? A month.

Everyone moans about money, op, everyone. Everyone has different expenditures and expectations etc etc. why is she a ‘supposed’ friend just because she moans? And yes single people always assume couples have more money, parents think childfree have more money etc etc. just life!!

2 x £25k brings home around £300 more a month than £50k, yes tax.

And that's why I said if their mortgage is higher and bills before you know it the £900 a month OP pays in childcare is probably matched by their less takehome and higher bills.