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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

CF or 'helpful' landlord???

33 replies

Inbetweenie993 · 23/12/2023 05:01

Context is .. single (bereaved) & moved in here about 9 years ago. Landlord & landlady have been great, but he's now overstepping IMHO.

For ages sometimes 'popping up' in back garden, with NO Notice but really helpful, mowing the lawn & taking away rubbish etc. Have occasionally found this intrusive, (catching me in my pj's etc) but put up due to helpful element.

I put some stuff in my garden in a pile, as I planned to sort it & hose down what I wanted to keep. Woke up one morning to find the lot had disappeared!! Nothing valuable as such but may be useful.

I am furious but don't know how to approach him. Don't want to spoil things - I love living here. Any advice?

AIBU?

YABU - put up and shut up for quiet life.
YANBU - say something, boundaries have been overstepped. (Not talking garden gate boundary !!)

OP posts:
NotARealWookiie · 23/12/2023 05:14

I think you need to say something - throwing away your stuff isn’t acceptable. I’d message him and say “hi, I was halfway through sorting some garden bits and they’ve disappeared. I don’t suppose you collected them as if so please return them, I want to keep some bits and will dispose of the rest once done”.

it’s likely he’s binned it which will open up the way for you to be honest and say you really appreciate the help but would appreciate more communication around when he’s popping by and a discussion before any of your belongings are thrown away.

Ohmylovejune · 23/12/2023 05:14

Are you sure he took it, rather than someone who thought it was put out for free?

Do they live in the same building or is he travelling to do this stuff?

Is the garden completely yours or shared?

I wonder if he's got OCD or something and needs everything to be spick and span.

Ohmylovejune · 23/12/2023 05:16

You aren't being unreasonable but need to approach it sensibly as you love living there

flowerchild2000 · 23/12/2023 05:19

Are they old? That sounds like something a person set on their ways would do. Being a single mother I would love the help. Personally I would figure out their quirks and adjust accordingly. If I was really uncomfortable I would ask for boundaries. I'm a huge fan of boundaries but as long as they don't mean harm I would appreciate them. On the other hand if you don't feel comfortable or safe in your home that's an issue and they need to adjust.

Original poster
Inbetweenie993 · 23/12/2023 05:20

Completely my garden. And went through gate. I KNOW It was him. Someone saw his van....

OP posts:
stepintochristmas1 · 23/12/2023 05:24

Really should've sorted this ages ago when you became aware they would move stuff that was left outside . So I have no idea why you would put stuff outside that you weren't sure you wanted to bin ! Anyway yeah get this sorted , but keep the area clean and tidy so they don't resort to this .

Original poster
Inbetweenie993 · 23/12/2023 05:27

Please read post - it wasn't 'outside" it was in my back garden via a gate which no-one can see from the road, or even from my front door!

OP posts:
wildwestpioneer · 23/12/2023 05:29

Can you drop him a message?

Hi LL, I think you might have removed a pile of stuff from the back garden? Next time you could ask me before doing this? I was going to sort through it, clean and keep some items so it wasn't rubbish to throw away. Appreciate you were probably trying to help. Thanks OP

stepintochristmas1 · 23/12/2023 05:30

Garden is still outside !

GonnaNeedABiggerBag · 23/12/2023 05:30

Legally he has to give you notice to request an appointment to visit. Quiet enjoyment of your home and all that.

Ask him to give you the visit notice your contract states. It’s supposed to be in writing but if you’ve a good relationship, I’d phrase it’s as ‘a call or text as a heads up would be great, thanks’.

Scarydinosaurs · 23/12/2023 05:30

I wonder if they do it out of fear you’re neglecting the property? Ie it’s going to attract rats/you aren’t looking after the bins

You might find if you complain they could end your contract ASAP (or might be looking to do this anyway) out of concerns you’re not a tidy tenant.

LovelaceBiggWither · 23/12/2023 05:31

stepintochristmas1 · 23/12/2023 05:24

Really should've sorted this ages ago when you became aware they would move stuff that was left outside . So I have no idea why you would put stuff outside that you weren't sure you wanted to bin ! Anyway yeah get this sorted , but keep the area clean and tidy so they don't resort to this .

But the landlord should not be entering her garden unannounced. She's got every right to have an untidy pile in the garden she pays rent for. The landlord doesn't have a right to 'resort' to throwing her stuff away.

DreamTheMoors · 23/12/2023 05:31

“Hello Landlord - I know you were being your usual helpful self. (DON’T SAY “BUT”) The things I had out in the garden the other day? Some of them I wanted to keep.”
___

Then let him respond. No accusations, no recriminations, just an easy conversation and state the facts.

GonnaNeedABiggerBag · 23/12/2023 05:32

stepintochristmas1 · 23/12/2023 05:24

Really should've sorted this ages ago when you became aware they would move stuff that was left outside . So I have no idea why you would put stuff outside that you weren't sure you wanted to bin ! Anyway yeah get this sorted , but keep the area clean and tidy so they don't resort to this .

They do not have the legal right to resort to this. Putting items in the garden for sorting at a more convenient date is none of the landlord’s concern.

stepintochristmas1 · 23/12/2023 05:33

LovelaceBiggWither · 23/12/2023 05:31

But the landlord should not be entering her garden unannounced. She's got every right to have an untidy pile in the garden she pays rent for. The landlord doesn't have a right to 'resort' to throwing her stuff away.

Show quote history

Does she have an untidy garden ? I have no idea , that would not go down well .

GonnaNeedABiggerBag · 23/12/2023 05:34

Scarydinosaurs · 23/12/2023 05:30

I wonder if they do it out of fear you’re neglecting the property? Ie it’s going to attract rats/you aren’t looking after the bins

You might find if you complain they could end your contract ASAP (or might be looking to do this anyway) out of concerns you’re not a tidy tenant.

I’m guessing after renting her home for 9 years, the LL is satisfied with the OP.

OP, if you check out the Shelter website, and indeed Gov.Uk, all the legalities are very clearly set out.

Hearmenow23 · 23/12/2023 05:39

Of course the landlord should be nowhere near your home BUT it's really helpful to have someone like this on side. Can you add an extra padlock to the gate?

Original poster
Inbetweenie993 · 23/12/2023 05:42

Yikes! New to posting so should have put more detail!!! It was a small pile, as a result of me having paid a lot of money to spruce garden up. Can't do it myself as disabled. The guys had just put a few things that they didn't know what to do with for me to sort. Absolutely no piles of rubbish & crap to attract rats! Horrified if I gave that impression!!!

OP posts:
Ambi · 23/12/2023 05:43

I would ask him if he knows anything about the pile of belongings that have been stolen from the garden? You'd like to make a police report and wanted to check if he knew anything. Absolute CF. I work in property and letting and you are entitled to quiet enjoyment of the property and whilst you are to maintain it as your lease / tenancy agreement is worded, the landlord should not be taking it upon themselves to remove belongings.

Saymyname28 · 23/12/2023 06:37

Can you just put a lock on the gate?

EnterFunnyNameHere · 23/12/2023 06:42

Even though you're sure it was him, I think the suggestions of asking if he knows what happened/saw anything are good - it's a non-confrontational way into to a conversation which ends in "I really appreciate your efforts to help but this needs to change".

Edit: is it always the landlord "popping round"? Could you contact the landlady instead so it's more "I know he's trying to help but it's freaking me out not being able to leave things in my garden"?

Daleksatemyshed · 23/12/2023 06:48

I'd get a lock put on the gate Op so he can't just walk in uninvited. It's lovely you have such good landlords but you're disabled, not a child, and they need to treat you as an adult who deserves their privacy

GreatGateauxsby · 23/12/2023 06:54

Helpful with poor Comms.

You are a "disabled widow" and he has an interest in keeping his "asset" aka your home in good order. They sound like they have good intentions and if they like you are a tenant they prob want to "help" to show you they like you/appreciate you.

What does your contract/lease say?
Check it and if it's your responsibility

Just message and say

"thanks for help to date on the garden. I checked the lease and it's my responsibility. While it was kind of Derek to help with the leaves in the autumn, visits/popping in are no longer necessary / should stop. I have recently engaged a regular gardener and so garden maintenance is now fully in hand.
If you would like to inspect the garden or house happy for you to do this annually or twice yearly. I am happy to do this and pre-agreed dates and times that suit us both"

Dibbydoos · 23/12/2023 07:08

@Inbetweenie993 They're trying to be helpful, but they should not be doing this.

For me, it'd be a conversation like,

Thanks for all your help with the garden I really have appreciated it. That stuff your removed from the garden was to be sorted and not all thrown away. It's no big deal but its made me realise, I've let you help me too much. If I need help I will let you know. Thank you for your kindness. I love living here and it's great knowing I've got such fab LLs.

Or you can write it in a Christmas card to them.

Kittenkitty · 23/12/2023 07:14

He’s wrong, he can’t just do that. So you’re absolutely within your rights to get him to stop.

However… I am disabled and can’t mow my own lawn, I pay £20 a fortnight to have it done. It was really difficult to even find someone with availability to do it, and I have to have it every fortnight on their route to keep my spot. That’s about £500 a year!!! I would put up with these minor intrusions on that basis. So although you’re in the right, just consider whether you’d be cutting off your nose to spite your face.