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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

...to want a posh restaurant to cook my dinner?

104 replies

Pizdietz · 22/12/2023 19:40

I don't often eat out, and can count on one hand the posh/fancy restaurants I've been to.

Many years ago, in Australia, I got to taste seared scallops and couldn't get over how delicious they were. This was in the 1990s.

Fast forward to a couple of years ago, and through work I ended up at some super-duper restaurant in Covent Garden. Seared scallops were on the menu, and I was very excited to taste them again.

Imagine my disappointment when I bit into one and it was grey and slimy, not actually cooked at all except on the outside. It looked like a glacuous eyeball. I asked the waiter if I could have them a bit more well-cooked, and after some protests he agreed to ask the chef. Eventually the dish was brought back to me, but it was made very clear that the chef disapproved of me ruining the food like this.

For my main course, I'd ordered duck. It was supposed to be roast duck, but guess what?! there was blood oozing out of it. I got the impression it had briefly seen the inside of a warm pan.

Again I asked if they would mind cooking it a bit more, and again my apparently bizarre request was reluctantly granted.

I'd forgotten that weird meal until a couple of nights ago, when once again I found myself in a posh restaurant. Seared scallops were on the menu! and... well, you can guess the rest.

It is too much to expect food to be actually cooked in a posh restaurant? Are they saving on electricity or something?

YANBU = Food like this has much nicer flavour and texture when cooked through (and raw seafood/duck could pose a health risk?)

YABU = You are failing to appreciate the delicacy and sublety of truly quality ingredients, and the refined skills of the chef, you ungrateful cow!

OP posts:
ChristmasEvemaddness · 23/12/2023 07:04

It's horrid when chefs don't abide by what their customers want.

We are adults we know if we want it well done. I would say I'm pregnant or something else.
Shouldn't have too.

Muchof · 23/12/2023 07:05

Pizdietz · 22/12/2023 20:30

Well I didn't complain so much as ask timidly. I'm not very good at this sort of thing. But if that's the "correct" way, if I ever find myself in a posh restaurant again I'll know what to do!

Yes ideally you would have timidly asked when you ordered, not after it has been brought to you! Seared does not mean cooked through, duck is generally served pink (although it should have been rested to avoid the juices coming out on your plate).

Karwomannghia · 23/12/2023 07:06

I’m with you I’ve given up on scallops now.

I also hate getting massive prawns with all their shells on - really don’t want to be peeling off shell.

I’ll always remember a seafood banquet I had in Australia too it was incredible!

GreatGateauxsby · 23/12/2023 07:19

I have this issue with different things risotto is one that's often served Al dente 🙈 why?????
My tip is ask questions when ordering and then request it as you'd like.

A lot of places can be weird as it's not the chefs "vision" or whatever.

A waiter in a 2 star Michelin argued with me about a dessert once. It was soufflé with ice cream I asked they be served separately. He kept insisting they were designed to be served together with ice-cream shoved into the souffle. I just said " no problem if you aren't able to take my order how I'd like it just send over the maitre'd" which shut him up and Soufflé arrived unmolested by icecream

Original poster
Pizdietz · 23/12/2023 07:32

shallotsandstuff · 23/12/2023 01:37

Can't believe it's taken you thirty years to have something you liked again! Have you cooked them at home at least?

To your point, I haven't particularly noticed seafood (my fave) being undercooked, in high end or other restaurants.

Well, I did try cooking them myself, but I'm such a cheapskate that I just got some frozen scallops from Tesco and let's just say... it wasn't the same. I decided to wait until I was somewhere special, with a proper chef, to try them again. I have a dream, a dream of what I once had 30 years ago! and so far nothing has matched it!

Re freshness, this latest disappointment was a highly rated seafood restaurant in Brittany, which is always busy by the looks of it, so I would have thought the poor scallops had just been dragged from the sea and I feel bad for disturbing them.

I'm probably exaggerating describing them as grey slime, that's just my bitter disappointment coming through 😊 I've no doubt a food critic would have described them as exquisitely pearlescent 🤮

That's interesting that you haven't noticed seafood being undercooked. I wonder if this is a modern/French fashion? I'm keeping a beady eye on the poll scores, which so far have been pretty 50:50 concerning whether I'm an ignorant peasant or not 😁 I'm just thinking maybe it would be nice if restaurants asked how well you'd like this sort of thing done, the way they do with steak? Does everyone understand "seared" in the same way? It sounds as though maybe not, if your experiences have been different.

OP posts:
BouleBaker · 23/12/2023 07:41

I am 100% with you and fo not order scallops in restaurants for this very reason. Cooked properly to me means they should be soft inside but the protein should be just set, so white and slightly firm. The translucent texture to me is inedible and also makes me gag.

AppleKatie · 23/12/2023 07:50

I don’t like rare seafood so I don’t order scallops.

I’ve witnessed my mil sending back what she considered to be undercooked scallops and seen the expression on the waiter’s face that you describe. It isn’t pretty!

I think you need to accept that what you had in the late 90s was food of another age and either cook for yourself or try another meal.

Original poster
Pizdietz · 23/12/2023 07:55

AppleKatie · 23/12/2023 07:50

I don’t like rare seafood so I don’t order scallops.

I’ve witnessed my mil sending back what she considered to be undercooked scallops and seen the expression on the waiter’s face that you describe. It isn’t pretty!

I think you need to accept that what you had in the late 90s was food of another age and either cook for yourself or try another meal.

Thanks @AppleKatie !

Is that the problem, that my ideal is "food of another age"? Trends have changed? It could be another decade before I get into another proper fancy restaurant, so maybe by then they'll have switched the cookers back on 😜

OP posts:
YireosDodeAver · 23/12/2023 08:01

The deliciousness of the scallops you had in Australia was probably because of a supply chain that meant a matter of hours between ocean and plate, whereas no matter how posh the london restaurant it is likely to be a supply chain of at least a few days.

AppleKatie · 23/12/2023 08:03

If you only go to a fancy restaurant once a decade stop ordering food you probably won’t like!

gotomomo · 23/12/2023 08:05

Over cooking wrecks food. I personally like raw scallops and rare duck! Beef is happily eat basically raw too. My favourite food... raw oysters

Thehonestbadger · 23/12/2023 08:08

I had this at a very fancy London restaurant.
duck, it was basically still quacking and they wouldn’t cook it more as it ‘compromised the meat’ I wouldn’t eat it and we left.

gotomomo · 23/12/2023 08:11

@Pizdietz

Food is definitely served rarer these days, so my advice is to opt for chicken which won't be served rare, or starters that aren't just seared (seared means cooked either side but ultra rare in the middle). Fish is often served this way now too

Wittyname10 · 23/12/2023 08:12

A seared scallop is a way of describing the process of cooking them, they are seared in a hot pan and should still be cooked through and hot in the middle. It’s a fine balance before they go rubbery though, but the sweetness should be there.

A slimy, grey scallop is not as fresh as it should be, it won’t be bad but it might be a few days old. A really fresh scallop will be nothing like that.

Duck is served med rare, there should be a bit of pink there. A bit like lamb or beef, it’s served pink as standard. At least now you know you like it well done!

I did a couple of years chefs training, for those wondering.

LenaLamont · 23/12/2023 08:22

The very freshest fish and seafood can be ‘lightly’ cooked to show off its quality.

If you go to a high end restaurant, yes, the scallops will be uncooked in the centre and the thick fillets of fish will be translucent in the middle.

Less fresh seafood or poorer quality needs to be cooked through.

The chef is not obliged to (over)cook food to your palate, s/he is preparing food in the way that best suits the ingredients, and lets them shine.

The trick is to select the right restaurant for your tastes. If unsure, when ordering, tell the waiter exactly what you want - your poached egg able to bounce off the floor like rubber, your steak without a hint of pink, whatever.

Original poster
Pizdietz · 23/12/2023 08:23

YireosDodeAver · 23/12/2023 08:01

The deliciousness of the scallops you had in Australia was probably because of a supply chain that meant a matter of hours between ocean and plate, whereas no matter how posh the london restaurant it is likely to be a supply chain of at least a few days.

It wasn't London, though, it was Brittany, in a very popular (and dare I say highly rated!) seafood restaurant where I'd have thought the turnover of scallops was quite high. It's not like they fished them out of the skip at the back of Sainsbury's.

OP posts:
Original poster
Pizdietz · 23/12/2023 08:24

AppleKatie · 23/12/2023 08:03

If you only go to a fancy restaurant once a decade stop ordering food you probably won’t like!

This is probably wise advice! It's just that I saw "scallops" and imagined I had the perfect opportunity experience pure heaven again: Brittany, posh seafood restaurant, etc.

I've learned my lesson and based on replies here, if I ever dare order them again, I will make it quite clear what a chav I am and ask them to cook it through 😁

OP posts:
Original poster
Pizdietz · 23/12/2023 08:25

gotomomo · 23/12/2023 08:05

Over cooking wrecks food. I personally like raw scallops and rare duck! Beef is happily eat basically raw too. My favourite food... raw oysters

See, I'd pay good money not to eat an oyster! I'd be too scared. I'm pretty sure I'd projectile vomit, not a good look in a posh restaurant...

OP posts:
Original poster
Pizdietz · 23/12/2023 08:26

Thehonestbadger · 23/12/2023 08:08

I had this at a very fancy London restaurant.
duck, it was basically still quacking and they wouldn’t cook it more as it ‘compromised the meat’ I wouldn’t eat it and we left.

I feel sorry for the ducks, quite happily quacking and paddling around, then they get seized and no one can even be bothered to cook them! There they are, just plonked on the plate! The Chinese have the right idea, in my view ⭐

OP posts:
Original poster
Pizdietz · 23/12/2023 08:27

gotomomo · 23/12/2023 08:11

@Pizdietz

Food is definitely served rarer these days, so my advice is to opt for chicken which won't be served rare, or starters that aren't just seared (seared means cooked either side but ultra rare in the middle). Fish is often served this way now too

I'm learning this from this thread... and it's a lesson worth knowing! Thanks!

OP posts:
Original poster
Pizdietz · 23/12/2023 08:28

Wittyname10 · 23/12/2023 08:12

A seared scallop is a way of describing the process of cooking them, they are seared in a hot pan and should still be cooked through and hot in the middle. It’s a fine balance before they go rubbery though, but the sweetness should be there.

A slimy, grey scallop is not as fresh as it should be, it won’t be bad but it might be a few days old. A really fresh scallop will be nothing like that.

Duck is served med rare, there should be a bit of pink there. A bit like lamb or beef, it’s served pink as standard. At least now you know you like it well done!

I did a couple of years chefs training, for those wondering.

That's really helpful, thank you.

Actually, how you describe the ideal cooking of a scallop is just how I like it.

I think I was exaggerating with "slimy/grey", but these weren't hot in the middle 🤮

OP posts:
SummaLuvin · 23/12/2023 08:30

as much as people on this thread are complaining about the chefs thinking their opinion trumps all, the fact is that most, if not all food, have a state which is considered to be optimal cooking level - salmon, chicken, duck, broccoli, eggs... I actually find this helpful, as it means when I order eggs Benedict I can ask for my egg done hard as the 'ideal' is a runny yolk which I detest. It's not about the chef thinking they know better, it's about them automatically meeting the accepted gold standard, and me needing to let staff know when my preferences deviate from it.

Original poster
Pizdietz · 23/12/2023 08:30

@LenaLamont
The trick is to select the right restaurant for your tastes.

Quite an expensive business finding out!

I'm not after a rubbery scallop that bounces off the floor. But I'll definitely ask for more cooking next time, if there is a next time...!

OP posts:
Psychoticbreak · 23/12/2023 08:36

I love fancy restaurants but know at this point what to order and what to ignore. I am in Ireland so ordering a medium steak here is grand, its literally just pink on the inside however having ordered medium in Barcelona I can say it came out still mooing on my plate and I had to send it back and chefs do not like this.

Similarly I love roast duck. I love it in Ireland. In France not so much cos again it was still quacking when it came to the table.

Now I know London should be different but huge city with clearly chefs of different origins and while I understand that some foods are better for some people undercooked or raw it does not please me so I would go to one of them places and order chicken cos nowhere ever can give you undercooked chicken. Or pork actually. I was about to say salmon but I ordered it once in Australia and I am sure it was still swimming...

OP if you like scallops I suggest you look online for recipes and cook them yourself. I hate anything slimy myself so I have learned to cook the nicer foods rather than order them and get disapointed.

Wittyname10 · 23/12/2023 08:38

Pizdietz · 23/12/2023 08:28

That's really helpful, thank you.

Actually, how you describe the ideal cooking of a scallop is just how I like it.

I think I was exaggerating with "slimy/grey", but these weren't hot in the middle 🤮

Show quote history

No probs, it’s really frustrating when you have something but can’t find it anywhere else.

I had the best calamari I’ve ever had on Manly in Sydney and have never been able to get it quite the same here.