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AIBU?

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Original poster

To wonder if people really do donate to charity instead of giving Christmas cards

59 replies

MumblesParty · 22/12/2023 14:24

I see a lot of posts of Facebook from people saying “happy Christmas everyone, I’m not doing cards this year, donating to charity instead”. Obviously it’s entirely up to individuals if they do cards or not, but I often find myself wondering if they actually do calculate the cost of card and stamps, and give that amount to a charity. Or if they just don’t get around to it!

Anyone on here prepared to admit they said they’d donate but actually haven’t done it?

OP posts:
ZenNudist · 22/12/2023 14:28

I thought no one did cards anymore and you don't need to justify it. That said, I don't see why it has to be either/or. You can still give to charity regardless of card sending. I do use advent as a time to step up charitable giving but I'd never shout about it!

MargaretThursday · 22/12/2023 14:29

I once chatted to someone who worked with a big charity that I've often seen named as one people say they were donating to instead of cards. I asked if they recently had seen a rise at Christmas due to this.
He said that sadly they hadn't.
He reckoned that a lot of people say it, but don't give, but also there are a number of people who regularly donated at Christmas anyway, and he suspected that a lot of people who say that just count the donation they would have given anyway.

FatherJackHackettsUnderpantsHamper · 22/12/2023 14:30

I highly doubt they do - maybe give £10 or £20 to the charity, but the significant cost of stamps always goes under the radar (or is deliberately ignored).

Even if they do give every penny they would otherwise have spent, it's still not something virtuous that they are doing - donating your Christmas card to charity!

It's a bit like when people tell you they've sponsored a goat in a small village in Bangladesh as your 'present' and then expect you to be delighted by it, as well as happening to mention it to everybody else, so that they get the glory for redirecting your present!

Not that charity gifts like that aren't a great idea, but in the right context and for the right person.

spidermonkeys · 22/12/2023 14:30

My parents and the company I work for do actually donate. Those are the only two I know for a fact do donate.

Funderthighs · 22/12/2023 14:30

I donated. I wouldn’t have said I was going to if I hadn’t intended to follow through. I’d have just wished everyone a merry Christmas and not sent a card. A friend of mine just doesn’t “do” cards and zi have no problem with that.

Kannet111 · 22/12/2023 14:32

It bugs the life out of me. Just give to charity, you don't need to announce. One cares if you send a card

toastofthetown · 22/12/2023 14:33

For most people, I doubt it. I assume they just can’t be bothered to write cards and use that as an excuse, and they never get around to making the donation either. It takes something off the to-do list, get to post a self congratulatory social media update, and don’t actually have to sacrifice anything they enjoy at Christmas to do so. It’s a win-win (except for the forgotten charities).

Original poster
MumblesParty · 22/12/2023 14:33

ZenNudist · 22/12/2023 14:28

I thought no one did cards anymore and you don't need to justify it. That said, I don't see why it has to be either/or. You can still give to charity regardless of card sending. I do use advent as a time to step up charitable giving but I'd never shout about it!

@ZenNudist I wasn’t talking about whether people should send cards or not, or should donate to charity or not. That’s a separate issue. I was referring to the people who specifically say that the reason they are not sending cards this year is that they are donating to charity instead.

OP posts:
FatherJackHackettsUnderpantsHamper · 22/12/2023 14:34

Then again, if you do buy most 'charity' Christmas cards, only about 5% of the cost actually goes to the charity - so I suppose if somebody sends £10 to a charity instead of spending £75 on cards, the charity has done much better out of it.

Mairzydotes · 22/12/2023 14:35

My packed of cards I bought cost 30p from Tesco so it's not like cards are expensive. I suppose stamps are , if you have to send them by mail.

FreshWinterMorning · 22/12/2023 14:36

LOL, no! 😆 Just admit you CBA to spend 2 quid on 40 cards, write them out, and post them through peoples doors/give them to them. No-one believes you are 'giving to charrridee...' Literally NO-ONE believes that!

mynameiscalypso · 22/12/2023 14:37

I did 🤷🏻‍♀️

ImTheGoat · 22/12/2023 14:37

We did donate. One of our daughters asked for a donation to a specific charity instead of a gift. Also DH's close family members always now donate instead of doing cards. I will admit that I asked DH to donate £100 but he's just said he's only given £25 in lieu of cards (£75 total in donations)!

Funkyslippers · 22/12/2023 14:37

FatherJackHackettsUnderpantsHamper that's an interesting way of looking at it

Personally if I donated, I send so few cards anyway, it would come to around £2

FreshWinterMorning · 22/12/2023 14:38

FatherJackHackettsUnderpantsHamper · 22/12/2023 14:34

Then again, if you do buy most 'charity' Christmas cards, only about 5% of the cost actually goes to the charity - so I suppose if somebody sends £10 to a charity instead of spending £75 on cards, the charity has done much better out of it.

Who the F spends £75 on Christmas cards?!!!!!! 😂 Did you mean to put a decimal point in there (ie; should have been £7.50?!)

JanetandRita · 22/12/2023 14:38

It's virtue signalling. Just admit that you cannot be arsed or you're disorganised, or don't say anything at all. I doubt everyone actually does it. I donate to charities monthly and do an additional donation at Christmas to shelter. I also send cards. I don't announce any of this.

KnowThyself · 22/12/2023 14:39

We posted 23 cards, I gave out about 15 locally. I also gave to charity by buying £80 toys to the local appeal through that the Salvation army run and bought quite a few pairs of gloves for a local homeless charity. All things these places asked for I haven’t told anyone that I donated except here, not even DH come to think of it.

Mercurial123 · 22/12/2023 14:40

The only people I know who send cards are 70+. I don't care if anyone donates to charity or not.

Nonplusultra · 22/12/2023 14:41

I just don’t send any. Or texts. It’s way above my Christmas coping threshold.

I do charity donations to some of my friends’ favourite charities in lieu of gifts. It’s been interesting discovering another side to people I’ve known for years when you see what causes mean a lot to them.

FatherJackHackettsUnderpantsHamper · 22/12/2023 14:43

FreshWinterMorning · 22/12/2023 14:38

Who the F spends £75 on Christmas cards?!!!!!! 😂 Did you mean to put a decimal point in there (ie; should have been £7.50?!)

Show quote history

I just gave numbers for the sake of argument - I suppose it depends on the size of your card list and where you buy your cards from!

cameliasun · 22/12/2023 14:44

Hardly anyone sends cards anymore.

But why do people have to announce their donations to charity?!

spanishviola · 22/12/2023 14:48

I’m dubious about this too. I still send cards and have received more this year than for the past five years, for some reason. It’s bloody expensive to send them though. Also, giving money to charity doesn’t help the elderly or lonely who might be really cheered up this time of year with a card.

Legomania · 22/12/2023 14:50

I haven't seen this this year, I think it was just during the phase when people were winding down their card sending. Don't think anyone needs an excuse any more

FatherJackHackettsUnderpantsHamper · 22/12/2023 14:52

Personally, I hate almost all Christmas cards; they're just a grand waste of time.

Most of them are just 'to Sue & Brian from Carol & Mike' added to whatever generic message is already in there. How many people hand a card to their colleagues/non-close friends that says 'Merry Christmas' in it without again wishing them a MC before they part anyway? You should at least have the discipline to bid them farewell with "See inside the card that I just gave you" and nothing more Grin

For those who like to display them in making their homes look all festive, surely it wouldn't be beyond the abilities of companies that make Christmas decorations to sell ones that look like long strings of different pretty cards, but without anybody having to buy, write and distribute them. After all, we don't hand out tiny slivers of tinsel to everybody we know; you can buy a length of it already made and glued together!

FatherJackHackettsUnderpantsHamper · 22/12/2023 14:53

But why do people have to announce their donations to charity?!

I always think that loudly giving to charity is not actually giving anything at all; it's just buying yourself good PR.