Confront or ignore?

[MyChristmasUsername]

We have a family member who likes stirring and drama, lots of people tiptoe round to enable her. Exhibits narcissistic tendencies and is generally quite rude and will put you down in subtle ways.

I am not the best at people skills and want to be prepared of how to deal with this, so that I can relax as much as possible when I have to be around them at Christmas. I’m not used to being bold and I am quite conflict averse but I also think if anyone calls them out they will then use it against them and play the victim.

Do you;
A) confront them, ‘That’s extremely rude, Jane’, ‘oh be quiet’ etc.
B) kill them with kindness and divert, ‘anyway, Jane, your dress looks nice!’
C) ignore them as if they haven’t said whatever they have said

Thank you :-)

There’s is no one sized fits all approach though. If they’ve said something completely unforgivable or vile or discriminatory use A. If they’re saying something zany for attention use B or C

I would take a path of least resistance and ignore.
You already said that confronting them just creates more drama so option A is not an option. Option B requires far too much effort.

yeah I’d agree with the first post. I am quite bold so usually tell people straight but everyone’s different

When she says something stupid and she is looking at your direction I would just look at her with blank expression and start a convo with another person.

Depends on the context.

i think if they are being rude, perhaps you could try the slightly more passive mn response.

‘Did you mean to be rude ?’

That way yog’re accusing them of being g rude, without directly doing so.

Other times, just ignore. These people often will say things for effect and to get attention, so by ignoring them, you’re not making it all about them.

Depends on exactly what they've said - default would be C though or repeating what they've said in an enquiring way/getting the to repeat it and then being a bit mildly puzzled/flat reaction to it 'oh ok' and moving on. People like this are so draining - definitely look to spend as little time with them as possible.

always A and accompany it with a certain tone and look
never allow people to treat you like shit, even snarky comments
you be assertive enough once they wont do it again

way to many people pleasers and mild mannered people around

you be a dont mess with me/take no shit type of person and people wont mess with you, simple