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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think its crazy to travel with a sick child

31 replies

wonderings2 · 22/12/2023 10:57

Its my mums partners milestone birthday today, she has arranged a suprise birthday meal for him at a local restaurant, she invited the partners daughter and husband, a couple who mum and partner are friends with, and me and sister ans husbands.

Partners daughter and her husband & the mutual friends are travelling in (a few hours drive) and staying in rooms above the restaurant, me and DH are a 20 minute drive away so are sending DD (4) to say at other Nannies for the night and getting a taxi home so we can have a few drinks and enjoy the night - the venue has a live band and Mums partner loves dancing, the evening is expected to end around 12.

My sister lives about 2 hours drive away, she is coming but with her 3 year old DD and is insisting that said three year old will sit at the table at 8pm and eat a meal (mum is paying for the meals), they will then put DD to sleep upstairs in one of the rooms with a baby monitor and stay downstairs with everyone else. When its home time they are going to move the child from the room and go back to stay at my mums one bedroom bungalow to sleep in the living with the child. They claim they cant afford a hotel.

I understand that she doesnt want to leave the DD, but then why come at all? She was here on Sunday at church event and Mum will be going to hers for Christmas day. She has never liked Mums partner and has been quite awful to him in the past. I couldnt make any sense of it so decided to see how it would pan out...

Anyway, get a text at 6am this morning, sisters DD has projectile vomited everywhere, obviously horrible that the poor thing is poorly but also think "well problem solved" No, she's still coming, child hasn't been sick in two hour's so shes going to risk it. 🙄

I feel a bit hypocritical as me and DH have colds (but we have since DD went back to school in September) but surely the child will still be contagious and its a it unfair on everyone else?

OP posts:
qnwlap · 22/12/2023 11:01

If it's a bug it's likely she will vomit again during the 2 hours drive over. That should solve the problem, unless they all turn up at the restaurant covered in vomit as if nothing has happened 😅

EmptyYoghurtPot · 22/12/2023 12:43

Nice Christmas present for you all! I’d make sure I sit at the opposite end of the table.

PuffinMcStuffin · 22/12/2023 12:46

Don't go, you'll all end up being sick through Christmas.

pikkumyy77 · 22/12/2023 12:50

Tell your mother to shut this down.

Terningbay · 22/12/2023 12:52

I was going to say YABU, nothing wrong with a child joining in the meal. However projectile vomiting? No that’s selfish so close to Christmas, it could be a bug!

Hoglet70 · 22/12/2023 12:53

I wouldn't go if a projectile vomiting 3 year old is going to be there!

HairyMcHairyFace · 22/12/2023 12:53

There is no fucking way I'd sit in a room with a toddler that wasn't my own who'd been vomiting 12 hours earlier. The fact that it's 3 days before Christmas makes it a double 'fuck that' and I would tell your sister so. If she decides to be selfish you can tell your mum that you're not willing to spend Christmas day in the bathroom for the sake of a party.

EmptyYoghurtPot · 22/12/2023 12:53

Is she putting DD down to sleep in one of the rooms booked by the other guests in your party? Be nice for them if she throws up all over their room.

FieldInWhichFucksAreGrownIsBarren · 22/12/2023 12:53

I'd deal with this one by telling her no-one wants a vomiting bug for Christmas so it's best if she stays away. If she still insists on coming then I'd be tempted to stay away, as rubbish as that seems, better that than a shit Christmas being unwell.

ChimChimeny · 22/12/2023 12:55

I'd be so annoyed if they turned up with the DD, pretty much the last thing you want just before Christmas is to catch D&V!!!!!

Tagyoureit · 22/12/2023 12:57

I'd be telling her she is mad to drag a sick child out the house to attend a dinner party!!

How on earth do people actually think this acceptable?

SeaToSki · 22/12/2023 13:02

That poor 3 yr old must be feeling dreadful and is now going to be dragged to a restaurant to sit up and be faced with food that people will want her to eat (when she is likely feeling nauseous) and then be dumped in a strange hotel room on her own where she might vomit and her parents might or might not notice as they will be partying downstairs and not properly watching the baby monitor. That is truly shit parenting.
And then there is the infection risk for everyone else at the party, because if its a virus, the parents are probably on the verge of symptoms themselves and all of them may be infectious

Fancyduck · 22/12/2023 13:09

My DC has just got over norovirus. I say got over, it’s day 8 and they’re still lethargic with pains. No way would I be taking a sick child out and I wouldn’t go if there was a sick child there.

Original poster
wonderings2 · 22/12/2023 13:36

Fancyduck · 22/12/2023 13:09

My DC has just got over norovirus. I say got over, it’s day 8 and they’re still lethargic with pains. No way would I be taking a sick child out and I wouldn’t go if there was a sick child there.

I was feeling smug that we'd avoided it so far.... its been awful this year

OP posts:
ThreeTreeHill · 22/12/2023 13:40

What have you said to sister?

Text her back and say no way in hell is that happening. The best case scenario is child passes noro onto you. Worst case is child vomits on the table or in the couples room or something vile.

ThreeTreeHill · 22/12/2023 13:41

A cold is very very different to noro. You are not being hypocritical

Bubblegirly · 23/12/2023 08:52

Absolutely not BU. I would not go and make it clear why!

Nineteendays · 23/12/2023 09:02

And she’s going to leave this vomiting child alone in a room while she has a meal??!

devildeepbluesea · 23/12/2023 09:04

Regardless of the idiocy of exposing people to a bug, there’s no way in hades you’d get me in the enclosed space of a car with a child that had vomited within the previous 24 hours.

newmum0604 · 23/12/2023 09:27

Aside from the bug why on earth do they think it's ok to leave their child alone in a room above the restaurant?!

sashh · 23/12/2023 09:29

It depends on the reason for the vomiting, a bug then yes, not fair on the child or anyone else.

A single puke because they ate too much chocolate is different.

LadyBird1973 · 23/12/2023 11:11

Call your mum and let her put a stop to this

Strictlymad · 23/12/2023 11:18

Absolutely not! First and foremost the poor little one needs a day on the sofa with her duvet and the tv- not being dragged out in a car! As an adult you wouldn’t so why inflict in on a poor child- just cruel imo. Secondly it’s not fair to pass it onto everyone else - just what you all need! Utter selfishness on sisters part!

Strictlymad · 23/12/2023 11:19

SeaToSki · 22/12/2023 13:02

That poor 3 yr old must be feeling dreadful and is now going to be dragged to a restaurant to sit up and be faced with food that people will want her to eat (when she is likely feeling nauseous) and then be dumped in a strange hotel room on her own where she might vomit and her parents might or might not notice as they will be partying downstairs and not properly watching the baby monitor. That is truly shit parenting.
And then there is the infection risk for everyone else at the party, because if its a virus, the parents are probably on the verge of symptoms themselves and all of them may be infectious

Well said! Truly sick of some parents selfishness

Strictlymad · 23/12/2023 11:21

You simply have to accept that as a parent your child will get unwell, your priority is to a) care for them and b) not pass it on. That’s just life as a parent and sometimes that will mean missing out on something you were looking forward to. Tough tits.

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