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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Feeling bad over Milkman tip

23 replies

Lonelyflower80 · 22/12/2023 06:28

Our milkman, whom we've never met as they deliver our milk early hours, left us a Christmas card personalised with our family name with last week's delivery. I went to leave a card and tip on door step in plastic sleeve, under rock for them. The milkman usually comes around 1am. They are very reliable. Anyway, at 4am I get up to let cat out and see no milk and card still there so as its raining take it back in and assume milk not coming. Milkman turned up around 5am. So didn't get card. I don't know why it upset me so much but feel guilty I didn't respond to their card and worry they think we are scrooge for no card/tipping. Would it be OK to put card there with tip after Christmas as in near new year or is that strange?

AIBU to feel guilt for such thing and should I leave it out after Christmas

OP posts:

Whatdoyouwantforxmas · 22/12/2023 06:30

You’re over thinking. Last year I forgot to tip at all, no biggie. Put it out for next delivery.

SilverBranchGoldenPears · 22/12/2023 06:30

I would feel terrible too. Put it out after Christmas, seems the easiest way. Unless he is still delivering to other homes over next few days in which case he could stop off if you call his company and let him know.

BasiliskStare · 22/12/2023 06:31

I would just give to him on the next delivery.

youneveractually · 22/12/2023 06:32

Goodness Op, i presume everything else i. your life must be wonderful and utterly stress free

Original poster

Lonelyflower80 · 22/12/2023 06:35

I know, I feel pathetic getting upset over it. I have other stresses, same as everyone, so no idea why it's on my mind still.

OP posts:

Papillon23 · 22/12/2023 06:38

It'll be fine OP. Why not pop it in a freezer bag next time so you aren't worried about the card?

I always think of this sort of thing as "referred anxiety" - when there's other stuff going on a particular thing can get stuck in my brain even if it's not the most logical thing.

IKnowYouBetterThanThat · 22/12/2023 06:41

Give it with the next delivery. It's fine, honestly.

Years ago, when we'd not long had our own home, our window cleaner knocked on the door with a Christmas card for us. I was a bit surprised but thanked him and afterwards told my fil, who was visiting, and said how nice that was of him. Fil laughed and said he was after a Christmas tip! I'd been oblivious and not given one.

Your milkman will be happy to get a tip after Christmas, I'm sure.

SutWytTi · 22/12/2023 06:46

Lonelyflower80 · 22/12/2023 06:35

I know, I feel pathetic getting upset over it. I have other stresses, same as everyone, so no idea why it's on my mind still.

Please don't let unhelpful.posters get to you.

You're not pathetic.

I agree with the poster above who called it 'referred stress' - sometimes the little things are what sticks in your head.

youneveractually · 22/12/2023 06:55

Lonelyflower80 · 22/12/2023 06:35

I know, I feel pathetic getting upset over it. I have other stresses, same as everyone, so no idea why it's on my mind still.

perhaps you’re focusing on this because ultimately it’s very trivial to distract you from the serious stuff in your life that really needs your attention?

Flensburg · 22/12/2023 06:58

youneveractually · 22/12/2023 06:32

Goodness Op, i presume everything else i. your life must be wonderful and utterly stress free

Edited

That isn't how stress works.

clpsmum · 22/12/2023 07:37

youneveractually · 22/12/2023 06:32

Goodness Op, i presume everything else i. your life must be wonderful and utterly stress free

Edited

No everything in your life must be wonderful and you must have never suffered with anxiety. What a perfect life you must lead if all you have to spend your time doing is coming on here and making such a nasty and pointless comments with the sole intention of upsetting a stranger. Merry Christmas!

Brandyginger · 22/12/2023 07:42

It will be a lovely surprise for him when he gets the tip after Christmas. As per pp, just pop in freezer bag (that’s how I leave money for our gardener outside in all weathers!).

mrstea301 · 22/12/2023 08:06

I'll need to do the same - our last pre-Christmas milk delivery was this morning but was in my bed ill at 9pm last night, so the empty milk bottles haven't even been put out! Will just leave it out for them at their next delivery next week.

This is the first year I've been having milk delivered- what is a good tip?

starfishmummy · 22/12/2023 08:37

Will he be there again before Xmas? Ours will be doing an extra delivery on Saturday to bring Mondays milk.

Original poster

Lonelyflower80 · 22/12/2023 08:39

Thanks all. He will be round again next Thursday - I will leave it out then.

OP posts:

youneveractually · 22/12/2023 10:21

clpsmum · 22/12/2023 07:37

Show quote history

good grief!

Rocknrolla21 · 22/12/2023 10:23

youneveractually · 22/12/2023 10:21

good grief!

Show quote history

I’m sorry your life is so stressful that you have to spend it going out of your way to be a dickhead to people.
Op it’s fine, he’s probably not even thought about it. Just stick it out for the next delivery.

Tulipvase · 22/12/2023 10:28

It’s exactly the sort of thing I’d stress about, just put it out next time - he’ll be delighted I’m sure.

I walk to work and see a lot of the same people, some people I talk too, some just a nod. There was a man with his kids I’d see quite often. One day I crossed earlier than usual and he was on the other side of the road. I felt awful in case he thought I’d crossed over to avoid him. Ridiculous- I don t know the man at all. Not sure why I’m sharing this, maybe just a bit of solidarity. Not that I’m suggesting the OP is as weird as me.

youneveractually · 22/12/2023 11:45

a “dickhead”

Seriously. Straight to name calling. You didn’t bother to read my follow up post a moment later.

Blarn · 22/12/2023 11:48

I forgot ours too, going to put it in the January one instead.

Shoppingfiend · 22/12/2023 12:43

Yes just do it at next collection

theduchessofspork · 22/12/2023 12:44

Of course, just leave it out for next time.

It’s not a big deal

mondaytosunday · 22/12/2023 13:11

I miscalculated last delivery and was annoyed I forgot to leave a tip out, only for him to do one more delivery so I double missed him! I'll leave it out at New Years when he resumes. The bin men miss out as there will have been quite a number of people walking by before they collect but still before we get up. And they have been a bit slack on the recycling pick up recently...
Postie too rare a beast to get one too.

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