When is it sexual harassment ?

[Bumgrabs]

Had a work party the other night. A colleague grabbed my arse and I told him to fuck off. What do you constitute sexual harassment?

@MariaLuna absolutely. I’ve not given many details tonight as I’m so concerned. Such a small thing has broken me. Here I was a week ago making multi million pound decisions, now I’m on mumsnet with stupid questions

@Bumgrabs

Never stupid questions!

You need time to process this and then in your own time take action, even if only for your self, your own healing.

I'm very impressed you are making multi deals. Shows you are a woman who is very together, (Yes, these things can break us, just when we are doing well in our life).

So sorry you went through this. I am furious on your behalf.

@MariaLuna thank you for your reply.
im struggling with thinking “ it’s just an arse grab” with how dare you grab my arse. The disrespect and dominance.

but how far do you take it , without causing a fuss? How can I “win” ? Fuck I’m pissed off with myself

When you say, it's not the first time, do you mean it's not the first time with this man? Or is there a culture in your business where men behave as they want?

If he has done that in public with you, I can guarantee he has done worse behind closed doors. He needs stopping.

It’s not a small thing. It’s sexual assault.
Speak to ACAS https://www.acas.org.uk/contact
Are you in a Union ? If so they will help.
Your company has to deal with this if a complaint is raised. Start with ACAS.

Honestly? Of course it shouldn't happen but if it was a one-off, drink involved, you told him to fuck off (and he did!) I wouldn't do anything further other than remind him that he's lucky you didn't take this to HR

In that case go to HR

It sounds as if you are fairly senior, and as such might be more in a position to call this out than you would be if you were more junior. It's not great that this is the case, but it is reality- the cleaner or admin assistant probably wouldn't expect to be treated seriously, whereas a person making million pound deals has more gravitas in what is still a man's world.
Whilst it is you who has been personally assaulted, it is important that you don't hide this, and don't swallow the insult- this man clearly behaved in a derogatory way towards you, and the fact that you are senior and he still did this suggests that he probably does it to women who are not in a position to complain.
Go formal with this.
And by the way, this is not your fault, don't be cross with yourself, be angry with him. You've been put in a position ( deliberately?) where whatever you do or don't do will have consequences . Sounds like he's daring you to put up and shut up. It's a horrible situation to be in, not of your making.

My dd called out sexual harassment at her workplace, loads of other women came forward to say the same had happened to them. He was sacked.

Unfortunately, as the whistleblower my dd was made miserable by some of her colleagues so she left.