To want to treat myself but no idea how

[Bigdishlittledish]

Coming up to the second Christmas since my marriage ended.

It's been an incredibly stressful year with work related stress, ill health (both myself and DC) and general stress and anxiety of juggling everything and not knowing what to do next in proceeding with the divorce. Co parenting with ex and on friendly terms but he does not and will not talk about the separation.

I will have some days without DC over the Christmas holidays and I would live to be able to say I've booked a spa break for one but I haven't and truth is, I have no idea how to relax and treat myself. I fully suspect I will spend the child free times during the next two weeks all alone, lying in bed and scrolling pointlessly. I have done all I can this year to avoid depression and a full on mental breakdown.

I have a few friends around me and I should plan to see them. What else should I do to keep me sane and give myself a treat this holiday?

What did you used to do for fun before you had children? Think back to before you met your husband. How did you spend your free time?

Why haven't you booked the spa break?

Book the spa break, take your book and have the best time

Pedicure/ manicure if you can't fit in spa break.

Haicut / colour.

Read the book you've wanted to read.

Do something every day - even if small - to feel like you've achieved something daily.

And most importantly, be kind to yourself.

Spa breaks really are not for everyone. It's not my idea of relaxing - it just comes with more organisation and little bits of stress for me, to be honest. If you wanted to do it, you probably would have done it by now, so listen to yourself and be brutally honest about what you really feel like doing.

If lying in bed, scrolling and eating your favourite food, in perfect peace and quiet is the thing that will help you decompress and relax, then do it. But maybe just for part of the time. Be led by where your energy takes you and don't fret about what you 'should' be doing. Try to include some getting outside in the fresh air, because it's so therapeutic.

In stressful times, pottering around, not achieving much, but gently recalibrating and righting yourself, can be a really nourishing thing to do.