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Original poster

Is this normal - bring & make at work

103 replies

Ceci03 · 22/12/2023 00:29

So yesterday at work an event was Organised - just for our office. I'd say about 30 people altogether. Everyone was asked to bring in some food some savoury some sweet. I had the idea we were to make something but bought some dips and breadsticks in the end. Anyway it was to start at 1 and run til 230. At about 1230 the 2 girls from reception started laying out all the food on a table in the corner of the office. Pretty large open plan office. Everyone was sat at their computers. Eventually around 110 my colleague beside me said he was going up to get some food. A little queue formed. I wandered over to a girl I'm friendly with and said shall we get some food but she said she was busy. So I went up by myself and got a few bits on my plate. I hovered round my friends desk but she was still
Busy so I went back to my desk. Everyone did that. Got their food and went back to their desks and continued working on their computers. It just felt really weird . I thought we would chat and pull some chairs over . But no. I thought it a bit miserable. And my 2 managers worked from home. After saying we all had to come in for this event. Am raging and trying not to be.

OP posts:
rainbowbee · 22/12/2023 09:42

It sounds a bit sad. I personally dislike forced fun and random colleagues' home baking. However, our place made everyone come in a day last week, all to sit in the kitchen for a half hour, have a cup of tea and eat someone's mince pie.
All that effort for people to carry on looking at their computer is a bit depressing.

ChateauDuMont · 22/12/2023 09:49

At any time you could have instigated a more social atmosphere but instead chose to get the 'rage' which is a troubling reaction to something so trivial.

Zonder · 22/12/2023 09:59

She did try @ChateauDuMont - she asked people if they were ready to stop and go get food.

DoubleTime · 22/12/2023 10:00

I would be annoyed at having to come in for that too, esp when the managers didn't have to - what was the point ?

WashItTomorrow · 22/12/2023 10:05

It sounds vaguely normal. Staff can’t take their breaks at the same time- we have assigned breaks. And it may be that people had other things they had to do on their breaks. I wouldn’t expect the whole office to just stop and have a chat at the same time.

SleepingStandingUp · 22/12/2023 10:10

Well sounds like you all usually eat at your desks. So I think it would have needed a manager to say something if they wanted you to all spend time together.

At my old place, it would have been a mix of people going into the dining room, eating at their desk but popping in for a natter etc whilst we covered phones

zingally · 22/12/2023 10:17

"Raging" seems a bit strong.

You hadn't slaved over a hot oven to produce something. You stopped off at a supermarket, and honestly did the bare minimum.

But lesson learned, in this particular work place, the social side of things isn't the priority. You've learnt that now, and can adjust your expectations accordingly.

Original poster
Ceci03 · 22/12/2023 11:09

Didimum · 22/12/2023 09:16

@10HailMarys @WickDittington @CavalierApproach

I assume the ‘rage’ was because her managers made them all come in that day especially for it rather than WFH, while the managers themselves got to WFH. Who’s got time for that a few days before Christmas?

Yeh this . Sorry it's a phrase that's used a lot in Ireland - you say "I'm raging" when you could mean mildly irritated Grin

OP posts:
Original poster
Ceci03 · 22/12/2023 11:12

SleepingStandingUp · 22/12/2023 10:10

Well sounds like you all usually eat at your desks. So I think it would have needed a manager to say something if they wanted you to all spend time together.

At my old place, it would have been a mix of people going into the dining room, eating at their desk but popping in for a natter etc whilst we covered phones

No we rarely eat at our desks only a cuppa. Everyone goes out for an hours lunch break. Out of the office I mean. We got an email from our managers saying we were "allowed" to stop working from 1pm to 2pm for the event

OP posts:
Original poster
Ceci03 · 22/12/2023 11:13

WashItTomorrow · 22/12/2023 10:05

It sounds vaguely normal. Staff can’t take their breaks at the same time- we have assigned breaks. And it may be that people had other things they had to do on their breaks. I wouldn’t expect the whole office to just stop and have a chat at the same time.

@WashItTomorrow managers had sent round an email saying the event was from 1pm to 2pm and were allowed "go"

OP posts:
Zonder · 22/12/2023 11:45

It seems odd then that people didn't take up that hour mentioned in the email. Maybe they felt lots of work pressure before close of play for Christmas. Perhaps I'd the managers had bothered coming in and stopped for the Christmas lunch others would have done too.

Original poster
Ceci03 · 22/12/2023 11:47

Zonder · 22/12/2023 11:45

It seems odd then that people didn't take up that hour mentioned in the email. Maybe they felt lots of work pressure before close of play for Christmas. Perhaps I'd the managers had bothered coming in and stopped for the Christmas lunch others would have done too.

Yes I agree. It was all very awkward and cringe.

OP posts:
Marmite27 · 22/12/2023 11:49

I’d have been pissed off the managed mandated attendance but stayed at home.

A fuddle being a working lunch is just the norm IMO.

HiCandles · 22/12/2023 11:53

That's weird. We have a bring and share lunch too and it is very clear from management that work stops for 1 hour. We all meet in the staff room, chat and mingle and eat food. Secret Santa presents are collected. Everyone declares what they're bringing beforehand.

ShinyAppleDreamingOfTheSea · 22/12/2023 11:59

We used to do this at my workplace. Whether we took a break and sat and chatted or carried on with our work depended on how busy we all were at the time . I worked in an open plan office - around 100 if everyone was in at once (rare) but if we did stop and chat, it tended to be within our teams anyway. I think the whole office bring and share was meant to be around breaking down barriers between the teams but it didn't really work out. What was better was when we were able to book a committee room and break away into there for an hour - but that was just my smaller team and we had to ask others to cover the phones .

ShinyAppleDreamingOfTheSea · 22/12/2023 12:01

Ah yes hicandles we used to do our secret Santa at this time too - but again just in my smaller team .

ShinyAppleDreamingOfTheSea · 22/12/2023 12:03

No we rarely eat at our desks only a cuppa. Everyone goes out for an hours lunch break. Out of the office I mean. We got an email from our managers saying we were "allowed" to stop working from 1pm to 2pm for the event.

@Ceci03 sounds like your managers assume that you all work through your lunch then ! Unless it's that you normally stagger breaks so that there's always someone covering .

KrisAkabusi · 22/12/2023 12:06

But it sounds like you set a precedent by going back to your desk. Why didn't you pull some chairs round and start chatting to people if that's what you wanted to happen?

ManateeFair · 22/12/2023 12:25

Ceci03 · 22/12/2023 11:09

Yeh this . Sorry it's a phrase that's used a lot in Ireland - you say "I'm raging" when you could mean mildly irritated Grin

Show quote history

I'm glad you've clarified this because I too was thinking 'This seems like quite a lot of anger over some bread sticks' 😂

It does sound like a gloomy affair all round and yes, the managers should have come in - not just because they'd asked everyone else to, but also because they should have set the example of taking the time out to eat and chat together, rather than just taking food back to their desks. It sounds like everyone felt a bit awkward and didn't know what to do. We've done similar in places I've worked, but the food's always been set up in a breakout area/meeting room/kitchen area rather than in the office, and it's been made clear that the idea is for people to relax and have a chat. There's always been a few people who have genuinely been incredibly busy on a deadline or something who have said 'Sorry, I'm going to have to grab some food and go back to my desk, but this all looks great so hope everyone enjoys' but most people have taken it as time out.

Original poster
Ceci03 · 22/12/2023 12:47

KrisAkabusi · 22/12/2023 12:06

But it sounds like you set a precedent by going back to your desk. Why didn't you pull some chairs round and start chatting to people if that's what you wanted to happen?

No I did t set a precedent. The guy sitting beside me he was one of the first up to get some food and he came back to the desk and ate while looking at his computer . Others did the same. Like I said I tried with my friend/colleague . When I had my food I hovered beside her desk looking for an opportunity to sit down but she didn't encourage it

OP posts:
KrisAkabusi · 22/12/2023 13:21

When I had my food I hovered beside her desk looking for an opportunity to sit down but she didn't encourage it

This is where a child would be told to "use your words". If you want somebody to do something you ask them! A simple, loud "Let's get lunch" might have done wonders in this situation.

Original poster
Ceci03 · 22/12/2023 14:57

KrisAkabusi · 22/12/2023 13:21

When I had my food I hovered beside her desk looking for an opportunity to sit down but she didn't encourage it

This is where a child would be told to "use your words". If you want somebody to do something you ask them! A simple, loud "Let's get lunch" might have done wonders in this situation.

No I had asked her before I got food and she said she was too busy. So I went back to my desk and waited and she must have got her food when k wasn't looking so then I went and got my food and on the way back I hovered for a chat holding my food and she was eating hers and chatting to the girl beside her but it was v awks so I went back to my own desk. Ha ha this sounds very detailed and silly but that's what happened lol

OP posts:
TeenLifeMum · 29/12/2023 16:28

we’re in a mixed office of multiple teams and my entire team forgot (only 4 were on site) the Christmas bring and share. I wasn’t in but I think we’re likely to now be known as the grumpy team who doesn’t talk to others 😂
I imagine everyone just got food and went back to their desks. Some members of my team do competitive busy top trumps working through lunch and late for no fucking reason. I do not partake in this and encourage those I directly line manage to take lunches etc so it is improving.

Ladybirder · 29/12/2023 16:30

That’s a bit weird. We do a bring share lunch twice a year at my office and it’s like a 2hr party at lunchtime (even with wine!). Sorry yours was so miserable. Maybe next time a bit of music might help, or all the managers having lunch away from their desks and encouraging others to do the same

MereDintofPandiculation · 29/12/2023 16:31

margotrose · 22/12/2023 09:02

It sounds normal to me - most workplaces can't just stop for hours while people eat a buffet and chat Grin

But wouldn't you just not bother with the buffet in that case?

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