To cancel Christmas visit?

[benoli]

Due to go to the IL’s for Christmas, we leave tomorrow lunchtime.

My eldest (not DH’s DS) is 15 and has IBS, he's currently having a flare up so I'm thinking of cancelling me and DS going. It'll be 3 hours in the car (potentially longer with traffic) and DS has said he doesn't care either way.

He isn't particularly close to the IL’s but it seems unfair him missing out on spending Christmas with the rest of the family but I don't want him to be miserable and anxious on the car journey or whilst we're there.

I don't know what to do for the best. AIBU?

Could you leave it for a day or two and see if it settles, then still be there for Christmas Day?

Poor DS - as a fellow IBS sufferer (diverticular disease ) the thought of 3+ hours in a car (and the same back) , the stress making it 100x worse and being in someone elses house where I'd be welded to the toilet would fill me with deep dread.

Does he want to stay on his own? Is he safe to leave on his own?
Or you and him stay at home and your DH goes to ILs

He has a 100% reason to not go , hopefully your ILs will know he's not bailing out .

At 15 I would presume they know their own mind so what they want to is ok

Actually , ignore leaving him alone you're away for a few days potentially , so you'll be with him if he's only 15yo

If DS can't go I wouldn't leave my child on their own at Christmas.

I would also be pretty pissed off with DP who thought that was OK

Who is DS missing out on spending Xmas with apart from your in-laws?

Another sufferer here.

could you postpone going, hopefully the flair up will have settled. Tbh 3hrs in a car then not at home with all that Christmas food/ excitement my tummy would be unsettled.

stress is a big factor in a flair up, so a calm no problem approach, and a bland gentle diet might just do it.

OP is thinking of her and DS staying at home, he wouldn't be on his own, it's in her post.