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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To send ex DPs DC Christmas present

7 replies

Billi80 · 21/12/2023 19:39

We broke up fairly amicably in the summer after 4 years together. Was close to their DC and have always got them birthday and Christmas presents. Have been non contact since autumn.

OP posts:
PTSDBarbiegirl · 21/12/2023 19:43

depends on age, if you do it now will you do it forever? Is it better for them if you don’t? What if he moves on and introduces another female to them, it all gets a bit confusing I’m afraid. I’d bail now, I’ve been there as the child and the adult.

Original poster
Billi80 · 21/12/2023 19:48

Already done and regretting it. DC is 14 so TBH not that many Christmases left ..

OP posts:
Eekmystro · 21/12/2023 19:51

If no contact since august then I’d say no don’t send a present. Seems odd. You’ve broken up and you aren’t seeing them. If you want to let them know you haven’t forgotten them you could do a letter at any time, but what is the long term goal?

mummabubs · 21/12/2023 19:55

Whilst likely well-intentioned I really wouldn't. It will likely just be very confusing for them, especially if you've been no contact since the relationship ended. You're not going to have a connection with them going forward, so sending them gifts would be doing it for you, not for them.

foodtoorder · 21/12/2023 19:59

I would just send them a card this year wishing them a merry Christmas. You're already no contact so just withdraw slowly.

Original poster
Billi80 · 21/12/2023 20:26

Too late as sent already. V small gifts. Kicking myself

OP posts:
WorriedMum231 · 21/12/2023 20:34

Leave it. If you’re non contact it’s just confusing for them.

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