To think I can actually make something of myself?

[ChangingTheNarative]

I've had a rocky past filled with abuse (physical, sexual, emotional) and have been suffering with my mental health since I was around 11.

I started working in a shop at 17 and bounced around jobs until a full mental breakdown two years ago.

Fast forward to now I'm under the community mental health team, on medication and awaiting trauma therapy and have been diagnosed with CPTSD.

On top of my problems I have a three year old little boy who has a rare genetic condition and is suspected to be autistic and I have a 1 year old daughter.

My husband is very supportive, hands on dad and is over all brilliant.

Now to my Aibu - I've been accepted to start a mental health nursing course in April and I really want to do it as I feel mental health has stolen my life up until now and I want to be able to make something of myself, help people and give my children a lovely life.

My husband will be my sons full time carer but both children will be in nursery and husband will be available for pick ups and anything else.

We can financially afford to do it and university is okay with my having my therapy sessions whilst studying.

Is there any reason I can't do this? Am I not thinking of something and setting myself up for failure?

Thank you for reading this far and I appreciate any replies.

If you never try something you'll never find out if you could do it. I was terrified of public speaking and I ended up becoming a lawyer and, yes, I did have to get over the fear. I was absolutely determined to make it through.

It will be challenging but the uni are aware of your situation and there will be support there you can access. You sound like you've come so far from such a tough start. I'd give it a try but know that if it doesn't work out that you did your best and there will be other chances.

Absolutely no reason you couldn't succeed on the course. I spent a number of years working in acute MH setting and I always encouraged my patients to continue looking forward and making positive changes. Your part does not have to define your future. Although, you do need to make sure you have appropriate support in place at uni and, later, in employment.
I would also consider the emotional impact of working in MH services and supporting people whose stories you can relate to. However, compartmentalising and maintaining boundaries will be part of your training so you will be well prepared.
I am in a different specialty now but I still come across patients whose stories touch a nerve. But as soon as I finish working with someone, I am able to let it go. I got quite good at distancing myself from emotional load while maintaining compassion for the person I work with. You will learn too.

I think you could certainly make something of yourself - no doubt.

Personally I don’t think I could do that particular job with fragile mental health but that’s just me.

Absolutely go for it. As someone with so much experience and actual understanding you are in a good position, you’d be able to understand and help your patients. I have a relative who really struggled with her mental health in her teens, lots of trauma and therapy well into her 20’s. She did a psychology degree and is now a psychotherapist. In her words she “put her pain to good use”. Wishing you the best of luck OP.

Have you done any MH work before?
I would suggest seeing if you can get a HCA or peer support role, or a volunteer role, between now and your start date to see if it is for you & if now is the right time for you (both in terms of the course & the challenge of balancing work, study, family & therapy).

I flunked out of a MH nursing degree as my MH just wasn't stable enough, but I know they are more supportive of students with lived experience now (it was over a decade ago). However it is challenging & if I'd have experienced the reality before starting I might have save myself some time & pain.

If you try it it might not work out. But if you don't try it then it definitely won't.
You sound like you're in a really good head space and have got great support at home and at uni. Please give it a shot.

I’d say you already have made something of yourself and i Say good luck in moving that forward again! Good luck op!

@BitOutOfPractice
I agree!!

Yes yes yes!! You can do this and you will be so proud of yourself when you have completed it. Your husband sounds fantastic. Studying with a young family is extremely tough and you will have days / weeks when you will want to give up. Don't! You seemed to have survived so much. Do this for yourself. You deserve it.

Congratulations on your place on the course op!

Yes you can do it! There are likely to be bumps in the road due to your mental health situation and childcare issues but your tutors will be rooting for you to succeed. However they will be constrained by the university regulations. Therefore this is my advice for you as a former lecturer on a course which also had a lot of mature students with quite complicated lives:
if anything ever comes up which means you might not meet a requirement such as a deadline, talk to your tutor as soon as possible and find out what your options are in terms of extensions, suspensions etc - never ever put your head in the sand, always make sure you know what the regulations are and always open your emails from the university.
The people who succeed aren’t the ones who don’t have challenges, they’re the ones who deal with the difficulties in a mature way.

Of course you can. Good luck.