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AIBU?

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Original poster

Care package

50 replies

snowhere · 20/12/2023 22:57

My DF is due to come out of hospital after a short stay. It has been suggest that a care package must be put on place before he can come out. This will be a few days being actioned. It has been suggested that a responsible person could do his care in the interim is this possible

OP posts:
SerpentEndBench · 20/12/2023 23:01

Has the discharge team indicated who they think should assume the role of responsible person? And has that person accepted the role?

Because believe me, once your dad has been tipped out into the care of the responsible person the proposed care package will vanish and feet will be dragged in re-starting the assessments and putting arrangements in place.

Short answer: I would urge family to refuse to take on the role.

cezannesapple · 20/12/2023 23:02

It depends what care he needs and who is doing it. It can be stressful and demanding. Make sure that all equipment recommended by OT is delivered before your father is discharged as not having the right equipment - shower stools, hand grabs, things to help get out of bed etc - can make things difficult and unsafe.

cezannesapple · 20/12/2023 23:02

SerpentEndBench · 20/12/2023 23:01

Has the discharge team indicated who they think should assume the role of responsible person? And has that person accepted the role?

Because believe me, once your dad has been tipped out into the care of the responsible person the proposed care package will vanish and feet will be dragged in re-starting the assessments and putting arrangements in place.

Short answer: I would urge family to refuse to take on the role.

Also this with bells on.

Newmum738 · 20/12/2023 23:03

Agree. Once he is home it will be a lot harder to get things sorted out.

NowItsSpring · 20/12/2023 23:03

Depending on his needs, then yes this is a possibility. Be careful though, his priority for a care package may go down if there is someone to step in and they may be left doing it for a lot more than a few days. (Been there!)

Rocknrolla21 · 20/12/2023 23:03

No, don’t agree to that!!! Not if you actually want a care package put in place! As soon as the patient gets discharged and family starts taking care of them, all promises will be broken and no other care will be arranged for them as they know the family will pick up the pieces

NoStarsTonight · 20/12/2023 23:03

Agree with all the above. Don’t agree to anything in the interim.

Rocknrolla21 · 20/12/2023 23:05

They suggest a ‘responsible person’ could potentially help in the meantime. They actually mean that anyone who volunteers to do it can bear the burden to save themselves the resources

NotARealWookiie · 20/12/2023 23:05

highly likely this is because there are no community providers who can take on the package. If you commit to it, it won’t be short term. A few days will turn into months as those without family carers will be prioritised

Original poster
snowhere · 20/12/2023 23:06

The responsible adult doesn't want to do it. This has been suggested by SS as a short term solution

OP posts:
SerpentEndBench · 20/12/2023 23:08

Well then there is no one to take on that role. The discharge team can continue planning the package and dad remains in hospital.

Don't let adult services pressure you (or the person they have in mind)

cezannesapple · 20/12/2023 23:08

snowhere · 20/12/2023 23:06

The responsible adult doesn't want to do it. This has been suggested by SS as a short term solution

Then don’t agree to it.

NoStarsTonight · 20/12/2023 23:08

snowhere · 20/12/2023 23:06

The responsible adult doesn't want to do it. This has been suggested by SS as a short term solution

It won’t be a short term solution. The responsible adult is right to refuse.

Original poster
snowhere · 20/12/2023 23:08

It is my DF who suggested that his son could it

OP posts:
NoStarsTonight · 20/12/2023 23:09

No no no no.

Original poster
snowhere · 20/12/2023 23:11

Sorry to be stupid but would the son have to agree to it or would SS take my DF word

OP posts:
SerpentEndBench · 20/12/2023 23:12

Your dad can suggest all he likes but sorry, no, this could well impact on the care package and thus dad eventually be worse off, care-wise.

cezannesapple · 20/12/2023 23:13

No they can’t force him to do it but the son needs to be very clear and direct when he says no.

Original poster
snowhere · 20/12/2023 23:14

Why would this affect the care package. The DF is saying to anyone who listens my son will do it

OP posts:
SerpentEndBench · 20/12/2023 23:15

Yes the person must agree, make sure that the hospital understands that no one is available (dad might tell a porky pie and lie that his son is willing) If this happens, and dad arrives home, the family need to advise the ward and also dad's GP that they consider this to be an 'unsafe discharge' and that the NHS will be responsible for any consequences; the family must then NOT HELP.

HeddaGarbled · 20/12/2023 23:16

Because it costs SS money and care workers are in short supply. The son needs to make it very very clear that he can’t do it.

cezannesapple · 20/12/2023 23:16

It will affect the package because if the son is doing it they will assess your father as having the care he needs. You don’t know how long your father will need care, to what level and it is much harder than you think it is and he will have no support.

SerpentEndBench · 20/12/2023 23:17

The care package will be delayed if the son takes on the care, as the urgency to put arrangements in place will vanish.

cezannesapple · 20/12/2023 23:17

In short, if the son is doing it there will be no care package.

NowItsSpring · 20/12/2023 23:17

Also you may want to take charge of your father's keys (including any in a key safe) to make sure discharge doesn't happen without your knowledge and with nothing in place. Happened twice with our DM who was very frail and had advanced dementia. This despite my sister and I making daily visits to the hospital between us and always checking with ward staff what the plan was before leaving.