First time poster here.
Long one - apologies and sorry for the crap grammar / syntax 😊
I recently cut contact with my mum. I grew up with a stepdad from the age of 1, who had always been emotionally cold and jealous of mine and my mum’s relationship. Whilst I didn’t have the worst childhood, my household felt very different to other households. My mum allowed him to be this way with me, and whilst she was protective in other situations, she would allow him to be controlling and a bully to me. Examples: no affection ever, he never called me by my name just ‘oi’, he would make me go out the hours for a few hours after school even if my mates were busy, I wasn’t allowed back home until a certain time, I was never allowed to eat with them, I ate in a separate room on my own. When I was little he would get jealous if I sat on my mums lap or played with her hair and tell me to leave her alone. I once forgot to wash the pots so he poured the cold water all over my bed. When I went to uni, I wasn’t allowed to come home for Xmas as we didn’t see eye to eye. My mum was happy for me to stay at uni over Xmas on my own. A few years back we all had a Xmas drink together and ‘tried it on’ when my mum went to bed. I was immediately disgusted, devastated and told my mum. We both left the house to stay at my nans. She later got back with him l after a few days and flew out on a holiday with him. She told me ‘one day you will have your own family you’ll understand’ I still don’t understand. I only saw her a handful of times a year over the next years. When I got with my partner and we got pregnant she became more involved in our lives and she became a great grandparent to our child. Can’t fault her on that. When I was pregnant with my second child she said she had saved some annual leave for when the baby was born so she could help out in any way she could. I asked if she could look after DS once labour had started until we returned home from the hospital. She was very happy to do this (she had previously also insisted she wanted to be at both of my births but I declined and she was v upset). In the run up to my due date, I had all signs of imminent labour and mum and I agreed that the next few days she would defo need to be on standby as my body was showing signs of baby coming. The next day she text me and said ‘i can’t be on standby tomorrow cause we’re going out for a meal’, I asked her if this was a joke. She said no and asked if I was upset. There were a few exchanges before I lost my shit and told her I was sick of her putting her partner before me. She was fuming at this and called me ‘fucking selfish’. If she had said she was going for a meal but would be on standby for labour or even have asked if there was anyone else at all to cover (there wasn’t) I would have been okay. I did in fact go in to labour on due date. My partner text her when I was in labour to let her know I was having the baby. She replied ‘ok’. And we didn’t hear from her for 6 weeks. She knew nothing of the birth or if myself and baby had made it safely through delivery. She wouldn’t have known, there was absolutely no one else she could have asked to find this info out. She contacted me 6 weeks later asking to see the children.
AIBU to say enough is enough?