To think I should be put in a cupboard for one week a month for everyone’s sake?

[Spangler]

I have two small DC, 3.5 and 1.5. My periods have come back after BF DC2. Didn’t really have any between BF DC1 and being pregnant with DC2.

I am so angry and detached and awful to be around! I don’t feel like myself at all and wish I could just go away until I am back to myself (obviously not an option). I’ve always struggled with my moods when I’m on my period but I haven’t always had kids to consider. How do you manage with DC and hormones?! Genuinely would be so grateful for advice.

Have you looked into PMDD?

This is very common - google pmdd… premenstrual dysphoric disorder. There is help for you it is worth going to see your gp.

Have you tried the pill. That saved my sanity. Can make some people worse though.

I’m so grateful for your replies. I’ve looked at PMDD before but I’ve never thought it was severe enough - I’ve never attempted suicide and once I realised I was feeling so awful because of my hormones it was easier to put into perspective. However, the relentlessness of small DC seems to have overridden my ability to cope. Any strategies I had in the past aren’t relevant now until after 7.30pm.

I haven’t been on the pill for years as it always sent my hormones off balance - either made me bleed like crazy, or more depressed, and almost always obliterated my (already not great) sex drive. I don’t think GPs tend to know much about hormones and just chuck you a pack of microgynon and send you on your way (that may be incredibly out of date!).

How do you manage with DC and hormones?!

I got a Mirena and it really helped me but I don't have PMDD. Good friend who did have PMDD found a mirena made hers worse and an SSRI combined with the mini pill helped her. I think you should talk to the GP and be prepared to try a few different things to find the right combination for you.

Good luck OP, there is help out there - you don't have to accept feeling this way

Also it’s really two weeks. Which is half my life. So half the time I am this awful human being, and I feel like I will ruin my children’s childhoods unless I can find a way to cope better.

Also just on the SSRIs, if they do offer them to you to treat PMDD it's not because they're saying you're crazy/have MH problems - initially friend was v upset, thought they were saying she was imagining her symptoms and fobbing her off with antidepressants but she finally got a better GP who explained that PMDD is really a physical thing going on and is about the interaction of the hormones of her cycle and serotonin in the brain. It's explained well here:

https://www.health.harvard.edu/womens-health/treating-premenstrual-dysphoric-disorder

Not much practical advice to offer that hasn't been said just solidarity. My dc are now 2 & 4 and I felt similar when my periods came back but was able to take the mini pill which helped. It is relentless with small children and hopefully some of the suggestions by others will help. You are doing a great job and just looking for help and advice shows what a great mum you are. Good luck

I dint know if it would help you but I know some one that joined a martial arts club / boxers club .
She had already tried herbal remedies, long focused walks but didn't want to go down the medical side unless it was absolutely necessary..

She burns of pent up anger and energy in a controlled environment, rather than bottling it up.

I agree with PP that you need to trail hormonal solutions until you find something that works for you.

I take the combined pill back to back. Just have a controlled break every 3 months or so. It has completely sorted me out. I was in the same position as you- losing 2 weeks at a time to hormonal issues.

You won't know what will work for you unless you start trialing some stuff though. I'd not expect the GP to come up with answers. Research yourself and go in saying 'I want to try this'.

Op I was the same and it got progressively worse for me - to the point I felt like I deserved to die.

I saw my gp last month and started sertraline. It's changed my life. I can cope with all the things I couldn't before - doesn't mean I don't get cross etc but my god it's like night and day.

Please talk to them - it may not be the same meds that work for you but I promise it's better than leaving it

Thank you everyone for the ideas. I remember when I was younger going to the GP about my hormones and the (male) GP looked at me like I was wasting his time and asked me “are you sure it’s not just… how you are?” As you can probably imagine, that put me off seeking help!

I do wonder if there is a hormonal solution, given that I am really level when I don’t have periods. But obviously trialling things comes with the risk of making things worse not better. I do think it would be worth giving something a try, though, so thank you everyone.

https://www.rcog.org.uk/guidance/browse-all-guidance/green-top-guidelines/premenstrual-syndrome-management-green-top-guideline-no-48/

This is the guidance drs are meant to go by and may make you feel a little more 'normal' op. This really is very common. I hope you can get some help.

@Spangler I take citalopram (SSRI) for PMDD but just half the month. As soon as I feel myself getting wound up I start taking them until I'm bleeding heavily then I stop. I've been doing this for about 18 months and its worked brilliantly. Hormonal contraception makes me worse.

Anti depressants have been shown to have a much quicker effect on the brain when treating pmdd as opposed to for depression. I can also come off them no side effects. I find taking them helps me stay 'myself' all month.

I also don't feel suicidal or self harm. But my feelings/ outbursts can be quite severe and impact my family.

My symptoms include (some months are worse than others)

Being very angry and snappy to the point of screaming at my husband and children. I can hear myself being awful but I can't stop.
Crying
Anxiety
Very sensitive to rejection- often think my husband doesn't love me
Fatigue
Feeling like I'm fat and ugly
Binge eating till I feel sick
Not being bothered to cook or clean beyond absolute bare minimum (I'm usually a very organised tidy person)
Not wanting to see people I'd usually want to
Feeling unproductive at work, like I'm in a fog

Basically an awful cycle of feeling happy, productive, loving etc to Feeling like shit.

The fact that the medication works so well for me made me realise just how unwell I was without it.

There is help out there. I kept a diary of my symptoms to take to the doctor when I went and she was great. Suggested the citalopram straight away.

Hope you feel better soon, you don't have to suffer like this xx

I'm also on sertraline for my anger around my period. My female GP was incredibly understanding and I didn't feel at all dismissed. I can't take the pill as I get regular migraines so this was a better option.

I'd definitely try a mirena. I have many friends who swear by it for different reasons. I've had it three times over the past twenty years, it sorted out my periods - definitely made my mood more steady.
But unfortunately gave me really awful migraines.

I suffer similar, was particularly worse for a good 6months or so after periods returned post BF'ing!

I wasn't sure if I fell into the realms of PMDD either but what really helps me is Agnus Castus herbal stuff. I'm really not normally a herbal remedies sort of person but this was suggested by Rosie Ramsay during COVID and it was the first I'd heard of PMDD etc....plus it was impossible to get a GP appointment then anyway so figured it was worth a try. It might just be totally placebo effect but it does help me massively so I don't really care!