Anyone else just in survival mode for Christmas?

[dulydone]

Not really AIBU but wasn't sure where else to post. I have had a horrible year in my marriage. DH with addiction issues, lying about how bad it is, keeping the house afloat financially because of him, stress of protecting DC, aggressive outbursts and family fallout on his side as he has painted himself as a victim despite the numerous chances I've given him. He is due to restart his recovery treatment today. This is exactly the position we were in last year. I feel so done and have come to the realisation that the only way things will improve is to split. Feels like a GIANT task. And I'm now filled with dread about Christmas. Just us and DC and I foresee this just being like any other day where I do the lions share of everything while he mopes about.

Anyone else in survival mode? How do we get through this!!?

Have a smaller Christmas to give yourself as much break as possible. Don't go overboard on cooking just for the three of you. Honestly, at this point, I would actually just think of activities you can do with your kid - maybe a walk, a hike, a road trip with a packed lunch?

@Catza thank you for replying. I think you're right. Make arrangements for the wee ones and no expectations of anyone else

@dulydone I'm sorry you've had a tough year. But in your shoes I'd be very glad I wasn't hosting other people and have that added pressure too, and you can run the day how you'd like

You've got this Op. You sound amazing, treat yourself to a little present just for you.
I agree with keeping things simple, finding the joy in small things, one day at a time etc.
The good news is recovery is recommencing, and when recovery works, it's brilliant. (You might want to gently reflect how long you might want to give it though) But now is not the time for a big decision, it's year end, everyone is tired and emotional. Just aim for some nice memories.
There's also anonymous forums that support families of those recovering from addiction, so they are there if you need some support. Available by zoom if you can't physically get to meetings. Good Luck.

Start by giving yourself permission to be done with putting up with his addiction and his abusive outbursts. You and your children deserve so much better. Get through Christmas by setting minimal expectations of yourself. Time to put your needs and your children's needs first ahead of him. Make 2024 the year that you free yourself of living in fear and tiptoeing around his addiction and his behaviour.

You have no idea what a comfort all of your kind words are. Thank you so much . I will definitely check out the support groups. At the recovery centre today they gave me info for family support so I've started looking in to this. I've activated survival mode/acceptance of the situation and will definitely be reflecting on things over the next week and putting plans in to place for a fresh start. I hope you all have a wonderful, happy Christmas xx