To want to take refresher driving lessons despite having a license?

[tooforme]

I passed my driving test around 5 years ago. Since then I have had a lot of anxiety and nerves around driving, that I've not been able to shake. I've only driven alone a handful of times, and each of those was a maximum of 2 miles away. When I've driven with a passenger, I've been able to drive around 10 miles away but only using the back roads in perfect conditions (quiet Sundays in the daytime).

I don't know why I have so much anxiety with driving. I expect it's a self-esteem/confidence thing, as well as general anxiety. I overthink every minor mistake I make, even something like not pulling into a parking bay perfectly straight the first time makes me feel like an awful driver.

I want to invest in some refresher driving lessons, as going out and 'practicing' with family hasn't helped as they make me more nervous. People who've been in the car with me say it's a waste of money as I can drive perfectly well and it's just my anxiety, but I think having lessons with an instructor again will help? I feel like it's my last resort as I'm wasting so much money on a car that I don't use, and otherwise I feel like I'll quit driving for good.

Has anyone had refresher lessons and did they help?

I didn't drive for about 7 years after I passed my test, because I left home and couldn't afford to - except when my parents insisted I did when back at theirs. (The original plan was to be able to drive by my upper 6th year, but repeated test failures scuppered that plan.) When I finally got a car, I took a refresher lesson and a motorway lesson, mostly as confidence boosters. I'm glad I did it.

Before my sister and I learnt to drive, my mother took her advanced drivers test, so she would feel okay to take us out as learners, so that might be another option.

You have my sympathy op. I am the same! Refresher lessons did and didn’t help. The instructor told me there was nothing wrong with my driving, I needed to work on my anxiety by not avoiding the stressful routes and taking the easy options. In other words I had to force myself to get into the uncomfortable zone. I pushed myself further and further each time, first with a passenger then by driving the route by myself. My confidence has grown. I will always be an anxious driver but I have made great progress. You have to face your fears head on and only by doing that will you make progress. Good luck 🤞

Advanced driving - https://www.iamroadsmart.com/courses

Pass Plus -
https://www.gov.uk/pass-plus

I haven’t, but I only learned to drive about four years ago, in my fifties. I think it’s a great idea - it’s a real shame to have gone to the trouble and expense of learning to drive and then having anxiety preventing you from benefiting from it and gaining the independence it brings.

I'd say the thing that really helped my driving was a daily commute of about 1h15m each way up the A34/M4. i.e. experience but if doing some extra lessons boosts your confidence enough to get that experience, then it's probably a good investment.

It’s not a big deal. Lots of people (women) do it. I expect your family are just trying to be reassuring. You don’t need their permission or even to discuss it with them. Do what you like.

Get in your car, put on some calming music and just drive. Drive where you never have before, and if you feel nervous, you just keep going. You know how to drive, you don't need more lessons. The only thing you need is more time, alone, behind the wheel.

I had some refresher lessons after I hadn't driven for quite a long time after I was seriously injured in a crash. I found it really helpful as not only did the fact that the instructor had dual control help me feel less anxious, but being in a driving school car meant that other drivers were more considerate, gave me more space etc. I was very conscious of the fact that I was hesitant and driving slowly when I first got behind the wheel again but knowing that other drivers thought I was a learner rather than just a rubbish driver did make that easier to handle.
The pass plus scheme mentioned upthread sounds good. Maybe that would help you.
It might be worth also looking for some kind of therapy to help you with your anxiety.

Driving anxiety is common! Instagram: anxietyjosh is a therapist who talks about this sometimes. Defo more of an anxiety issue than a driving ability issue, so work on facing your fears gradually. Go further each time, go alone more often etc. You’re right, it’s a shame you’re missing out on the freedom and independence driving gives you. Anxiety makes our world smaller but you’re stronger than anxiety!

Video from Josh the therapist 🙂

https://www.instagram.com/reel/CuHqdDEu5bZ/?igshid=MzRlODBiNWFlZA==

Highly recommend having some refresher lessons. Definitely money well spent in my case. I am similar to you in that I have massive anxiety about driving and for a long time I would only drive occassionally and with another passenger. I live in a city that is notoriously difficult to drive in. I found an instructor that specialises in working with nervous drivers. It's been brilliant to drive with someone who understands and accepts how I am feeling. In my lessons we've focused on the things that I struggle with (e.g. large roundabouts, parallel parking in narrow streets) and we've been practising routes that I think I am most likely to need (such as driving to the train station). I've started going out alone early in the morning at weekends when the roads are quiet to build my confidence. I'm still very anxious before I go out in the car but getting better. I also drive with P plates (no one needs to know that I actually passed my test in the late 90s!!). Definitely do it!

Yes! and I recommend it.

I didn’t officially take a refresher course as such. I passed my driving test when I was young but hadn’t driven for decades. In my 60s, I found an excellent instructor who agreed to start from scratch, as he would with a beginner, and keep teaching me till he felt certain I was a competent driver — that I would be capable of passing the test, even though I didn’t have to take one.

Also, I chose to use an automatic, so much simpler than a manual.

It took more than 30 lessons, and the instructor was confident in my ability long before I was! Now I am so glad I did it.

Do give it a try, OP. Preferably with an instructor recommended by a friend or someone else who knows you well. Makes a big difference having the tight instructor.

Best of luck!

… the RIGHT instructor!

Someone I know recommended this instructor to me. He is a qualified CBT therapist. She developed a fear of driving after having a panic attack one day whilst driving and found that a couple of sessions with him made a huge difference. Unfortunately, I don't live in any of the areas that he covers but I'm considering booking a zoom session with him in the new year Driving Phobia Support | Driving Anxiety Help | London | Hertfordshire | Barnet | Bedfordshire | Berkshire | Buckinghamshire | Cambridgeshire | Essex | Kent | Surrey | Drive Therapy (csmdrivetherapy.co.uk)