Hi,
I have a childhood bestie (I'm mid 30s) her birthday is very very close to Christmas and every year we always celebrate. 9 times out of 10 on the day. This year she's just having a takeaway with family, she's very close and they have mobility issues so can't go out now and her dad's birthday is the same day. I often join the family celebration but this year she asked if we can do something separate. No problem.
I am a parent carer, my 4 y.o child has severe disabilities and requires constant (literally can't pop to the loo without watching her on the camera and shutting her in a room for her safety) supervision. I'm self employed and work 2 days a week for my own sanity and adult conversation as DD doesn't talk or understand any communication.
My husband also has a disability which means he can't look after her at night alone.
I had originally 'booked' my parents to have DD on her birthday but on her request have moved it to the Thurs. I suggested a couple of restaurants and she said she'll just pop something in the slow cooker and we can stop in, in our PJs and drink. I said she shouldn't cook on her birthday we should do something and she said 'I'm happy to it's fine'
I then asked that as this is my only 'night out' over the holiday period/month if we could go to a nearby restaurant, my treat, then spend the rest of the nights in pj's and drinking at hers as planned. She replied 'OK you've twisted my arm'
I mentioned this to mutual friends that we were going to that restaurant and one of them says I bulldozered my friends birthday plans when she clearly just wanted to stay in and it was quite selfish.
AIBU? We are close enough that my friend could say no...