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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Is it unreasonable / weird to cry so easily?

14 replies

wdicse · 19/12/2023 16:48

Since I had my DD (2yo) I cry so so easily. A few examples from the last week:

  • my husband got annoyed at me and said I'm pestering him when he works from home so he prefers to work from the office
  • my nanny (as in childcare person, not grandma) who looked after me a lot when I was younger reached out to say hi and that my daughter looks a lot like me (we're in contact but only really message merry Xmas and happy bday)
  • my husband said I spent too long getting ready to go out and he was annoyed

These things really shouldn't cause a normal adult to cry!! Before my daughter's birth I cried maybe 1-2 times per year over either death of a pet or a big argument with my husband or very unfair situation at work (in private)

I'm a SAHM, no massive stress, overall great relationship with husband without big tensions or arguments, comfortable financially, very happy with DD and want more

OP posts:
Sux2buthen · 19/12/2023 16:50

I used to be pretty stoic. Since I had my three, it takes next to nothing to set me off!

Original poster
wdicse · 19/12/2023 16:51

@Sux2buthen why?! Is it hormones? Something else? Will I ever become a normal adult again?!

OP posts:
BelieveInYourElf · 19/12/2023 16:52

I'm sorry to hear this. I believe a GP appointment is needed, maybe post-natal depression? Ignore all the speculation here; just see your GP

Original poster
wdicse · 19/12/2023 16:55

@BelieveInYourElf thing is, I don't think I feel upset or depressed. It's just that these days the smallest thing makes me tear up but logically I understand I'm not massively upset and it's minor

OP posts:
SutWytTi · 19/12/2023 16:56

Crying is normal, IMO, it comes and goes depending on what's going on.

MrsTerryPratchett · 19/12/2023 17:01

Crying is normal and healthy. But two of those examples were your DH getting annoyed at you. Either you are having a perfectly normal reaction to him being a twat. Or, you are using tears to manipulate him into being nicer to you. Or, you have low-level depression. Which isn't healthy.

It's very difficult to pick apart. What do your friends/family think? FWIW my mum is a crier and it's quite hard to have difficult conversations with her because she cries then expects that to mean she gets her way. When she doesn't, it's more tears than my dad with "can't you just... your mother is upset".

I don't think that's you BTW, just giving context.

RougeFraise · 19/12/2023 17:16

I’m the same. Eldest is 10 now, it’s not abating.

Original poster
wdicse · 19/12/2023 17:33

MrsTerryPratchett · 19/12/2023 17:01

Crying is normal and healthy. But two of those examples were your DH getting annoyed at you. Either you are having a perfectly normal reaction to him being a twat. Or, you are using tears to manipulate him into being nicer to you. Or, you have low-level depression. Which isn't healthy.

It's very difficult to pick apart. What do your friends/family think? FWIW my mum is a crier and it's quite hard to have difficult conversations with her because she cries then expects that to mean she gets her way. When she doesn't, it's more tears than my dad with "can't you just... your mother is upset".

I don't think that's you BTW, just giving context.

Genuinely don't think my DH is an arse. Very considerate, kind etc. We've just always, before DD, had the kind of relationship where we can say to each other "I don't like that you did X, please do Y next time insyead" and that'll be that. 5 mins later we're talking normally.
Before pregnancy if he told me I take forever to get ready, I'd have joked it off with something like "well we aren't all born as beautiful as you, give me another min and I'll be ready, sorry" or "your own fault for choosing an indecisive wife who can't pick an outfit". Now years come and I can't always stop them.

Don't think I'm manipulating because I would genuinely love to not cry at the drop of a hat.

Depression? Don't feel depressed.

Such a mystery.

OP posts:
thesurreymum · 19/12/2023 17:38

I am a crier, always have been even since before kids. I can literally cry on command and cry happy or sad tears alike. Very frustrating and I hate it. If you find a solution please pass it on x

MotherOfOlafs · 23/12/2023 14:39

thesurreymum · 19/12/2023 17:38

I am a crier, always have been even since before kids. I can literally cry on command and cry happy or sad tears alike. Very frustrating and I hate it. If you find a solution please pass it on x

I’m exactly the same, since I was a kid I’ve had overly leaky eyes, something I was teased relentlessly over in school, which caused more tears. I hate it but I honestly can’t help it. I’m not depressed, I’m the happiest I’ve ever been, for some of us there’s just no explanation for it.

ArchetypalBusyMum · 23/12/2023 14:42

Becoming a mum just cracks open a whole lake of emotion, completely normal. Even my DH is more easily moved to tears these days. Mine are 11&13 now and it's calmed down but I'm not the ice queen I once was. 😁

Ohwhatadag · 15/01/2024 17:24

I feel you. I am totally a crier. No advice just slightly watery eyes at reading your post. You're not the only one.

I am a teacher. I have had kids crying (secondary!). Because of parents, social stuff, even because I have told them off. And I cry too. That's embarrassing!

Missingmyusername · 15/01/2024 17:26

Could it be peri? That sometimes gives you mood swings.

Simonjt · 15/01/2024 19:21

Crying is as normal as laughing, but in a lot of cultures crying is seen as taboo.

I cry at everything, to the point that our children completely ignore me if I’m crying as it isn’t unusual. Occasionally our son has a good laugh when I’m crying at a cartoon film.

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