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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Things you thought hard pre-kids - light-hearted

40 replies

Workway · 19/12/2023 10:23

Me first!

I remember various viral illness I had - tonsillitis/colds etc. I remember laying in bed for upto 4 or 5 days at a time feeling so very hard done to. Feeling oh so sorry for myself while I watched films and sipped lemsip and slept and ran baths and messaged people 'oh I feel dreadful, really dreadful'.

I want to slap former me - little did I know how truly awful I might feel with a viral type illness and a toddler or a baby to look after.

The luxury, the luxury of being ill right now with a cold and able to take myself off to bed for 4 days!!

It was not hard.

Your turn!

OP posts:
FoxtrotSkarloey · 19/12/2023 10:35

Getting into work for 8.30am when all I had to do first was get myself up and ready.

Devilsmommy · 19/12/2023 10:38

Popping out to the shops when I felt like it. Out the door in 5 mins. Nowadays it's more like an hour getting toddler ready, then making sure the changing bags got everything in, oh and snacks and drinks etc😆 everything has to be precision planned now😉

Flittingaboutagain · 19/12/2023 10:40

Making phone calls!

Wittyname10 · 19/12/2023 10:42

Leaving, leaving anywhere to do anything is 100x harder when you have children.

SnapdragonToadflax · 19/12/2023 10:44

Felling like I never had time to do anything (I had a long commute so to be fair, I was spending three hours a day doing that which was exhausting).

Now I literally have no time to do anything. It's quite hard. I miss just getting up when I felt like it and not having to DO anything or talk to anyone.

Winniespooh · 19/12/2023 10:46

Yes! I was off work ill the other week and it was so nice to lie down and watch TV but then it was school pick up time and then homework and dinner so I felt like all the good resting I'd done was ruined!

I did used to struggle to get out to work on time pre kids, I'd never have time for breakfast ever, whereas now I'm showered, dressed, breakfast done, kids ready, bags packed, usually a load of washing on, house tidied, all before 8.20am!

Quickredfox · 19/12/2023 10:48

Preparing for Christmas and holidays
Finding time to get a haircut

Fionaville · 19/12/2023 10:50

Christmas shopping and housework. I also thought deciding what to have for tea, was a pain. When there was only the two of us, adults with similar tastes. What a fool I was!

Northsideoftheriver · 19/12/2023 10:52

Absolutely agree with making phone calls, I used to find difficult anyway. Now it's impossible. Listening to the options, actually hearing what is being said. Choose from the following options, press one for he just bit me waaaaaaaaaa, mum, mum,mum, go tell him press two for audible scrap going on in the background press three for waaaaaaaaaa now he's got my sock press four to hear these options again.

Also getting coat and shoes on and walking to the car. Seemed like hard work and I'd complain. Now it's getting three people's coat and shoes on, prying a four year old off the door frame, dropping car keys behind plant pot. Aahhhhh! I was a snowflake before. Even being ill. Seriously.

sockarefootwear · 19/12/2023 11:01

I remember once calling in sick to work because I had period pains and had been awake on and off all night. By morning the cramps had gone but I was shattered so it seemed to me unquestionably correct that I could not possibly go in to work until I had a few hours uninterrupted sleep. I went in to work after lunch and was baffled by the number of people who seemed to think I could have just got up and come in feeling tired. Once I had a baby I realised why the parents in the office were not as sympathetic as I expected!

SnapdragonToadflax · 19/12/2023 11:27

sockarefootwear · 19/12/2023 11:01

I remember once calling in sick to work because I had period pains and had been awake on and off all night. By morning the cramps had gone but I was shattered so it seemed to me unquestionably correct that I could not possibly go in to work until I had a few hours uninterrupted sleep. I went in to work after lunch and was baffled by the number of people who seemed to think I could have just got up and come in feeling tired. Once I had a baby I realised why the parents in the office were not as sympathetic as I expected!

Hahaha yes! I remember once someone I managed said she'd only had an hour's sleep as she'd been up with her baby. I was horrified, said she could go home if she wanted! Oh no, she said, I'll be fine and there's only housework at home anyway.

Ha. I now completely understand. No sleep for one night is do-able, and the office is peaceful compared to a messy house you'll feel you should be cleaning.

Asiatoyork · 19/12/2023 13:02

Me and DH used to congratulate ourselves if we managed a run before lunchtime on a sriracha because getting up early at the weekend was so hard.

Original poster
Workway · 20/12/2023 11:59

I can relate to so many of these! Yes getting up and out for work.....!

OP posts:
sarahc336 · 20/12/2023 12:05

Simply being on time for anything 🤣🤣🤣🤣

PuttingDownRoots · 20/12/2023 12:10

Choosing holidays.

Our criteria now includes...

  • is there a sperate bedroom for DDs
Activities for them
  • will their be safe food for DD1.

Pre kids it was About the cocktail availability

BlueRidgeMountain · 20/12/2023 12:12

Trying to do anything without interruption! I can leave the DC blissfully happy doing whatever they’re doing, completely ignoring each other, and the minute I make a start on that phone call/paperwork, even the minute my butt touches that toilet seat WW3 erupts.

Stupidliefromfriend · 20/12/2023 12:12

Keeping on top of my own laundry

threefiftysix · 20/12/2023 12:35

I used the think the newborn baby phase was hard! Now he's 8 it's so much harder 🙈

Houseofpainjumparound · 22/12/2023 04:15

I had to ask today why every sentence starts with Mum.... why can't it start with dad for once.....

We have been struck with flu here... dad has been off work and taken to bed for the past 8 days..... I have also had symptoms just not as bad and have been running the house with a 7 and 4 year old, while working, and doing all Christmas prep.... I'm exhausted but you know...I haven't got flu so i can't be as tired as the household king....

I love my kids. Wouldn't change for the world but what I wouldn't give just to be able to complete something from start to finish without an interruption.... or DH not having a go because u get half way through something, interrupted mid way and so don't finish...

4am rant over 🤣

Juliedawson · 22/12/2023 06:54

AIBU, we have family over at Xmas and inbetween, iv asked them to maybe dress up as its Christmas a time for celebration. I like to make an effort and even tho I'm 42 with 4 kids, I like us and kids to dress up if having people over or going out. However some friends and family dint make an effort. Am I right in assuming it's OK to inform them of dress code

BillionaireTea · 22/12/2023 07:01

Ah, love this thread. I can't understand why I never did enough things outside of work, pre kids. I was always saying oh, I'd love to write a novel but I don't have time, or I've not been for a run for weeks... Wtf was I doing??

MachuPikachu · 22/12/2023 07:33

I used to find it so hard to get into work for 9.30am!! My commute wasn’t even an hour. I think if I’d realised how little sleep I can actually live on I’d be much further in my career by now 🤣

43ontherocksporfavor · 22/12/2023 07:36

Getting up in the morning .

Thankyouthankyoujellybean · 22/12/2023 07:41

I'm absolutely baffled by how difficult I found it being on time for anything before I had kids. Now that I have to plan a 10 minute shoe-putting-on contingency, last minute toilet needs, existential crisis while getting in the car etc, I am never, ever late. Bizarre.

ShirleyPhallus · 22/12/2023 07:46

Yes to all of these, particularly the joyous luxury of being ill or even better…. Hungover. I could really enjoy wallowing around on a hangover in those days. Now, it’s actually miserable.

A lot of people in my office who are younger are the same now - absolutely exhausted and tired from not doing much and it’s sometimes tricky when I’ve been up half the night with the baby but having been there, it’s all relative and you cannot comprehend what you haven’t experienced