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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Am I being dirty / unhygienic/ smelly ?

53 replies

pineapplesouffle · 18/12/2023 22:22

this isn’t a competitive cleaning thread. I’m just looking for some honest help and advice here because I’ve totally lost track of what is normal and what isn’t

I’ve had OCD for a while, I’ve been in denial about it but it’s come to a head and I’ve realised I can’t shut it out anymore. I was obsessed with cleaning myself and was utterly convinced that if I don’t scrub my body 11 times with new soap or shower gels then I’ll be dirty and smelly etc

i don’t want to be like this and I’ve decided it stops NOW. I went to lush and treated myself to a nice new bar soap which I intend to wash myself with. And I’m NOT doing it 11 times. I’m going to wash my body once over with it.

I just feel so worried because it goes against everything my OCD tells me. But washing once with a bar of soap will make me clean won’t it? I don’t need to wash my body with it several times? And I can rub it directly on my body and build a lather etc and by washing my body 1x I won’t be dirty or smelly will I?

thanks, I’ve just completely lost perspective but I want to stop my ocd habits right now, I just need someone to tell me I’m not being smelly or unhygienic by doing this

thanks x

OP posts:

murasaki · 18/12/2023 23:00

Good point re skin, you don't want to dry it out and one wash will help with that. You've got this.

MsRosley · 18/12/2023 23:02

You don't even need to wash most of your body beyond the normal places that get body odour. Just getting it wet is enough. Too much soap/detergent breaks down the natural oils in your skin that form a protective barrier.

TooTender · 18/12/2023 23:02

That is more than enough to keep you clean, hygienic and smelling nice.

it’s very hard to logically think your way out of OCD. Are you accessing any treatment for it? You deserve some support and expert help with this.

SunsetCurtain · 18/12/2023 23:02

I don't know if this is a valid suggestion but could you keep the soap in a box or bag with the number 11 on it to deflect the number? Then you are still washing with the 11 association but in a healthier way?

WeWishYouAMerryChristmas2023 · 18/12/2023 23:08

My DD had a similar number issue with OCD and showering. She found counting to the number in her head while washing herself in the shower helped. The way she did it was counting 1 then saying one thousand, 2 one thousand, three one thousand until she reached 9 then rinse doing the same and got out the the shower. It was difficult the first few weeks but it got easier after that. I hope this helps.

starfishmummy · 18/12/2023 23:08

You will be fine. And your skin will probably thank you for it as well.

Mynaddmawr · 18/12/2023 23:08

As others have said, you will be perfectly clean and smell lovely. Well done to you!! May I suggest, if you like reading, the book 'The man who couldn't stop' by David Adam. Fascinating insight into how and why OCD manifests in our brains, I found it very helpful. Sounds like you are doing so well with your therapy and addressing the compulsions. You should be very proud of yourself x

CognitiveBehaviouralHypnotherapy · 18/12/2023 23:11

Lathering once is absolutely sufficient OP. Please seek some professional help

friendlycat · 18/12/2023 23:15

You are going to be lovely and fresh and clean with two showers a day and just using your nice new soap washing yourself just once.

You will be fresh and well done for this achievement. You are doing great.

BestBadger · 18/12/2023 23:16

No. Most people don't smell and if they do, it's usually from clothes that haven't been washed for days. Your skin should benefit from not being over-washed too.

Well done for managing this step on your own, it's a pretty amazing personal achievement.

gemloving · 18/12/2023 23:18

I shower once in the morning, wash my whole body with soap and never felt unhygienic. Spanking clean ever morning, ready for a new wash after a good nights sleep.

You are not unhygienic, you'll be just like the rest of us "normal" folk x

feliciabirthgiver · 18/12/2023 23:26

Well done for what you have achieved so far, one scrub is just perfect. Would it help if you tried scrubbing just once for 11 days and see how you feel then?

Atethehalloweenchocs · 18/12/2023 23:27

OP, it is hard balance with OCD between asking for reassurance to get a normal perspective, and using reassurance to try and make yourself less anxious which can conversely end up making your OCD worse. If you have not had any treatment before, CBT is really helpful for OCD.

Temporaryname158 · 18/12/2023 23:35

Yes I just wash once and don’t smell. I wash my kids once and they don’t either.

i find shower gels sticky and never feel nice after them. Soap however leaves me squeaky clean (after just one use) so trust us all that once is enough.

The majority of people don’t smell. It’s not the number of times you wash but the frequency as BO/smell only usually comes about if you haven’t washed regularly and so sweat and bacteria has time to grow. So by washing once, once a day you will be clean and won’t smell as all bacteria will be washed away on a regular basis

porridgeisbae · 18/12/2023 23:45

That's fine OP x

billybear · 18/12/2023 23:48

Think of the money you will save in shower gel; doing it less, good you know you have a problem,good luck

Canisaysomething · 18/12/2023 23:51

Some people with dry skin (like me) don’t use soap at all apart from on smelly body areas. My arms and legs never get soaped. By my standards OP you are very clean after a single soapy scrub. Well done for your progress.

BrightGreenMoonBuggy · 18/12/2023 23:52

Once is enough to clean everything thoroughly. Definitely not unhygienic or ineffective. It’s designed to be applied once and be effective. If it helps, remember that medical staff wash their hands once with soap.

Firefly1987 · 19/12/2023 00:21

I have mild OCD-my worst is handwashing and showering as well. I don't obsess over how MANY showers I have but once I'm actually in there it takes me ages going over and over the same area. It's a ritual I guess-I absolutely hate how wasteful I am with shampoo, water and soap. I'm not worried about being unhygienic as such it's just a compulsion to wash a certain number of times to feel "right"-I also wash my hands dozens of times a day. Can't seem to stop doing it.

Cryingbutstilltrying · 19/12/2023 00:22

Well done op. You have come so far. That’s incredible. Don’t underestimate yourself.
Would 11 minutes for the shower work? I can have a full scrub and hair wash in 10 so it seems possible? If the number 11 remains important to you.
One good scrub with soap will leave you so clean and fresh. Hold on to that.
You can do this. Believe in yourself, you’re awesome xxx

Midnightgrey · 19/12/2023 00:36

I only wash my neck and ears, underarms, genitals and feet with soap. (I use a non-soap cleaner on my face.) The rest I just let the water cascade over me. I am not dirty, don't get sick and nobody has ever mentioned I smell. My children as annoying teenagers would have been quick to tell me if I had. Dermatologists tell me I have great skin so there you are. A once only lather will be fine.

My son did have a compulsion to wash his hands all the time. He talked to a psychologist - still has a phone consult every month. It definitely stopped the handwashing. It was awful at the time when he was compulsively washing them. His hands were in such a state my husband used to get upset seeing them. He damaged the moisture barrier on his hands and they were so sore looking.

betterangels · 19/12/2023 00:36

Massively well done for all you've achieved. One good wash with soap is fine. You won't smell. Rooting for you.

user1492757084 · 19/12/2023 00:44

You will be fine - actully better. Your skin likes to have it's natural oils not washed off as much.

You should employ the 11 second rule.
If your food drops on your house floor, as long as you pick it up within 11 seconds, it will be okay.

MCOut · 19/12/2023 00:56

@pineapplesouffle Go OP!!! It’s amazing that you’ve taken the step and that you’re doing so well.

That being said, I’m going to be a bit mean. I don’t think this post is helpful for you. It seems like reassurance seeking which ultimately may negatively impact how well you’re doing. Perhaps consider asking MNHQ to delete it.

SurelySmartie · 19/12/2023 01:03

You could count to 11 slowly whilst lathering once as a way of incorporating 11.

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