To ask how much freedom your 16 year old has

[Imyourmamaand]

Just that really, what is your 16 year old DC’s life like and what level of freedom are they allowed. I think the age of 16 is one of absolute wild contrast where some teens are allowed to basically live as adults and do whatever they want and some are given the amount of freedom that would be typical for a 13 year old. I want to see what’s reasonable and get the balance right.

Once GCSEs were over, my kids transitioned from “Can I go out?” to “I’m going out” They let me know if they are not going to be home for dinner and make themselves something when they get in. If they sleep over or going out later than 10pm then they let me know.
They know that this freedom is dependant on getting up for school without any problems. School is a 20 min walk away so they don’t have to get up too early which helps.

Mine is18 now, assuming yours is in Yr 11?
For me this is the age where you give them some freedom provided they don't break your trust.
They still need a curfew time, earlier on school days, and I always wanted to know roughly where he was going and who with.
Mine didn't do parties until he finished his GCSE's but I would have let him go after the conversation about sensible alcohol consumption 😉.
The main thing is trust, if he massively breaks it you have to start again.
There are no hard and fast rules although I always said if he tells me something I don't like talk about it calmly and don't kick off.... it helps them be able to be honest with you

This!

Yep, same as previous posts, once my 16 yo finished Yr 11 and his GCSES he pretty much comes and goes as he pleases now. He has a small motorbike (50CC) so doesn't need lifts, he has an allowance so if he spends it all in one go he knows he'll have to go another week before he gets more.
He has a small group of mates from college and they spend most of their time either out at cinema or in town or round each other's houses.
He doesn't have a curfew but will text if he's staying out at a friends house so I know he's not dead in a hedge

Mine has a nice friendship group, will text where they are going and return time.

She runs things past us, we allow sleep overs weekends and holidays.

She has a curfew but it’s quite late

I have DS1 who will be 17, he has ASD so doesn’t really socialise!
DD is 15 (year 11) and has a reasonable amount of freedom, she always runs plans by us first but we rarely say no. This week she is going out for dinner with friends tomorrow night, gokarting on Thursday and then has her work Xmas party on Friday. She is also going to Reading festival next summer with her friends but only for the day and they are also planning an overnight camping trip (she has gone through scouts and is now an explorer so very used to camping)

we live in a small town so not much she can get up to but her group of friends don’t seem to be the hang around the park getting drunk type so far.

I don't have any rules for ds. He works full time so doesn't stay out late because he wouldn't get up for work.

If he's later than expected I'd phone him but happens rarely.

My 16 year old DS is still in Y11 being a December birthday. He asks if he can go out if staying over somewhere etc and I do tell him when he needs to be home if just out for the evening (because we have to go and pick him up!) He also needs to tell us where he is.
I don't say no to him though really - he's just going into town at the moment or sleeping over at a friend's.

There hasn't been any real teenage parties yet, just gatherings with his friends. I do have his friends parents numbers though and they have mine, I probably wouldn't ask for these now he's 16 suppose although I'd like to in case of emergency!
I think once he's finished GCSEs I'll still want to know where generally he is and definitely if he's staying over somewhere.

No particular rules but she asks permission to go out / meet friends etc. I haven't had to say no, it's all reasonable, no alcohol, always supervised by parents at parties.

She works p/t and that money pays for concerts & other outings. She's sensible & comes home when she says she will, updates me by text.

My 14 yo DS is totally different in terms of reliability (tho hasn't done anything unacceptable ... yet) but would need to behave a lot more maturely when making plans and sticking to them, by the time he is 16, if he wants the same freedom.

We rarely say No, (Son does usually ask permission.)
All we do ask is that he lets us know of his plans and if/when he will be home-this isn't always successful so we are working on that.

My almost 16 yo is an introvert so has similar freedom to when she was 13. She mostly likes hanging out with me. She’d like to go out a bit but her close friends are similarly introverted so she needs to find her tribe.

I moved out of home at 17. Didn't get on with the parent.

DD16 has to be home by 10pm on school nights, weekends are different. If she's in a friends house (we know them all), then she can stay till whenever they ask her to leave or she stays over. She gets taxis or we pick her up as we are not close to the bus stop.
If she's going into town or a party at a house we don't know, then we pick up no later than 11.
She has a part time job and is doing well in school, so I don't need to be strict. She's also not into booze or drugs, so I'm pretty lucky that way too. (I know that sounds naive, but she's not into them as she's tried them and she didn't have a good experience).

Ds needs more boundaries than I would have thought necessary.

The main thing is communication. He needs to make sure he's got plenty of charge on his phone.
In general he lets us know where he's going.
If he's coming home quite late I want him to have a lift back from us. I don't want him getting the bus, so that needs to be on our terms.

He's been to parties with alcohol and not been terribly sensible so far but at least he's finding out while we're around to look out for him. Like we did, the kids all know which bars will turn a blind eye if they have a drink.

Bottom line is he must attend college.

There's not really much we can do if he doesn't play along, so we're relying on trust and goodwill.

DS2 is 16 (Nov baby so still in Year 11) he has done a 360 about face from doing nothing and staying in his room playing FIFA (he was jumped over a year ago and it put the fear of god into him) to getting a girlfriend and doing something every 2 days in the last month. I'm not sure how to call it so I'll watch this thread with interest.

He's currently got a 10.30 curfew at the weekend and can only go to his GF house then too. I was a bit that his GF parents left her home alone on Saturday night. She must be loads more mature than DS2 as he'd burn the house down if we left him overnight.