Historic sexual abuse - advice re: police reports

[Cambiatonome]

— moved here for traffic

Hello, I’ve changed my name - though I’m not a regular poster anyway… still Mumsnet has given me much support and wisdom over the years and now I feel the urge to ask about something I’ve been mulling over for years.

I was sexually abused by a music teacher as a child aged 7/8. It didn’t last long - 6 months I’d guess. My parents called me into their room one night and asked if there had been any touching etc. I said no at first… to protect him…then went back in and told the truth.

My mother has completely blanked the memory and denies all knowledge of it. Insane, but that’s another thread…

My father and I did chat about it 5 years ago. I was upset it had been buried and never talked about. He remembered talking to the police etc. but I don’t know what they said and rightly or wrongly I want to know. It was a brief conversation. (My dad has Alzheimer’s now so…)

I want to know what happened to the man afterwards. I believe he had already been in prison.

Other student(s) had complained hence my parents being contacted and me being asked.

And so my questions:

If my parents made a statement (c.1992) would I be able to know about it and even read it?

Can I find out what happened as a result of him being caught abusing other students? Did he go to prison? Had he been before? (My dad said he thought so.)

This man is likely long dead but it has hung over my life and affected me greatly.

I’ve come out the other side of various addictions and overcome many things though emotional/binge eating still a problem.

But I still want to know.
Where do I start please? I’m not trying to report as such but discover more about my past.

AIBU to want to know this?

Thank you for any advice.

I think you need to contact the police and ask what their procedure is for obtaining crime reports. They will be able to direct you to the right department/person.
It would help if you had a case number.
Just be warned that there may be privacy laws protecting your abuser or reports may have been destroyed.

Thanks for your reply Catza. That is sound advice… I just wouldn’t want to waste their time - clearly not a 999 and it’s not even clear to me what police department regionally. We moved away after. Hadn’t considered privacy laws either.
Thank you for answering though.

Do you think police keep all records even if someone wasn’t prosecuted? Just thinking aloud and wondering if anyone on here has been through similar.
Will find a non-emergency number and take it from there when I’m feeling brave.😕

Sorry to hear this OP and I fully understand your need to know.

Be warned, though, that you are unlikely to get any info about the abuser. My abuser was convicted of abuse of other children. He did time in prison, was released, and broke the terms of the sexual offences order he was under. It was reported in the press, but when I contacted the relevant court to find out what the terms of the order were (which are of direct relevance to me, since the abuser has tried to make contact with me via a third party) they refused to tell me — because of HIS rights.

Please be gentle with yourself.

If he wasn't prosecuted for your specific case, then it is less likely that you would get access to records even IF they've been kept. There is also an issue of your parents' privacy since they were the ones interviewed. Your dad may not be in a position to give consent for release of his statements.

Thanks Catza and Youngersis. It’s really sounding a lot more complicated than I envisioned. But it’s something that been nagging away at my subconscious for years… why today became the day I felt it should be aired I don’t know.
I will pursue it and I’ll come back to this thread in case it helps anyone else.

I'd contact the police force for the area where it happened. If you wanted to you could still make a formal complaint against him even now if he is still alive.
Your parents wouldn't have been able to have made a complaint on your behalf but there should be a record of the investigation.
If he went to court and was convicted you should be able to find out as Court records are public records.

That's sounds absolutely awful for you and it just shows how he was grooming you, that you were trying to protect him. I hope you manage to get some answers and that he was imprisoned for what he did.

I'm shocked at your mum's response. What's she like normally?

Hi @Cambiatonome I had to recently report some CSE. There were police notes from similar time as yours. They had the info. They will be able to help you.

I would advise you to ring 101 and do a report. You’ll be invited for an interview. Statement done and then it will be passed onto a team to look at.

They will be in touch and will explore next steps and whether it was dealt with historically in any way ( mine had been, no interview with me but parents and couldn’t be revisited as cautioned . The DCI was fab though and they did however visit him regarding recent contacts and he’s stayed away since)

How old was this guy, that you think he might be dead now?

Have you thought of looking up his name in the Births, Deaths and Marriages website and also seeing if there's anything on Google about him?

As per CornishTiger comments it is easily done, I previously worked in that area and you would be surprised how many very old case files police still have, consider also a subject access request with your details to the relevant force, and also Child Sexual abuse review panel as pre 2013,details are on cps website can consider reinvestigation if the case didn’t process

Please do seek support in doing this though. It can be very hard as feelings come to the surface even if they are facts you already knew.

I think that you are going to get no satisfaction digging into this at all. I was abused too and I have learnt that currently culturally we have no satisfactory answer to sexual abuse. I try to let the person who abused me and the people who still support him - my own parents predominantly - take up as little space as possible in my mind. There is nothing satisfactory that could happen to any of them that could repair the damage they caused anyway.

I wonder whether Victim Support might be able to provide you with information on the process of finding out more?

https://www.victimsupport.org.uk/

No joy with google as only had a surname and nothing else to go on. I lived in very rural village location - he apparently (according to my dad) travelled out a great distance from a major city. I have no idea of his age. I have a photo of myself with him. I can’t bring myself to destroy. He looks late 50s-60s but it’s hard to tell. So could in be 80s-90s+ now. Or dead.

My worry was that they brushed it all under the carpet and didn’t relay what I said to the police.

Thank you to all for replying and for sharing your own experiences and history and the kind advice.

It really means a lot.

I know finding out info now won’t change anything really. I just feel sort of stuck and trapped and it’s not been a great few years.

And part of me wants to be able to tell my mum I wasn’t lying or making it up. She really did a few years ago say she had no memory of it all and made me feel really shit for bringing it up.

I think she may be a bit of a narcissist and our relationship is full of fear and guilt on my side. Also a lot of good… but it feels off. Anyway as I said… that’s for another post!

And thanks all for the links too. Will follow them up.