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Original poster

To distance myself from bragging friend?

13 replies

dingdongdoo89 · 18/12/2023 13:58

I have been good friends with a girl since school and have always met up regularly. Over the last 5 years since she has started a business and done very well for herself she seems to have completely changed - regular showing off on social media whether it be another fancy car, another fancy holiday, her amazing house. Constant look at me and how well I've done for myself posts. As in - that's what she actually writes, not just alluding to the fact.
In person she has said on several occasions how much she has in her bank account. She has also said she feels friends and family are jealous of her success and judge her. This is simply not the case. I have many friends of all different income levels but they do not show off about it at all. Plus I am very happy with my lot.
Up until now I've just smiled and gone along with it but I no longer comment on the posts because I don't wish to continuously blow smoke up her arse. But I now get the feeling that because I've stopped she views me as one of the people who are jealous.
Do I speak to her about it or just accept the fact we're different people now and distance myself? I find the constant bragging really vulgar

OP posts:
Catza · 18/12/2023 14:08

You don't have to follow her on social media. And why do you care what she thinks you think?
The main question to ask yourself is are you enjoying your in-person time with her? If not, then no need for an excuse to minimise contact. If yes, then just carry on and unfollow her on SM to avoid any tension. I don't have a first clue what my own partner posts on SM and don't feel pressure to comment on anything.

BumblebeeAndPoppy · 18/12/2023 14:09

Is she doing MLM and that’s just her way of luring in more subordinates? Just a thought.

BumblebeeAndPoppy · 18/12/2023 14:10

The only ppl who openly brag about and flash things on fb that i know about are in some scam scheme but apologies if im totally wrong

neeep · 18/12/2023 14:12

You're an adult, if you don't like her, you dont have to be friends

BigGlenda · 18/12/2023 14:12

I’d be on the one way train to Grey Rock

ZittiEBuoni · 18/12/2023 14:15

Agree that the 'own business' sounds like a MLM. They are basically cults and members are told what to post on SM - usually this kind of 'look at my amazing lifestyle' stuff which is often smoke and mirrors, with cars being leased and houses being show homes etc. If not, she's just a berk and to be avoided anyway.

TenderChicken · 18/12/2023 14:18

I was also wondering if she's in an MLM.

I suspect she won't be receptive to any critism about her bragging - you are a hater if you say something and a hater if you phase her out.

So just phase her out and save yourself any overt aggro.

DinoDays · 18/12/2023 14:29

I also thought MLM. Bloody cults which brainwash people.

Original poster
dingdongdoo89 · 18/12/2023 14:34

Ha no definitely not MLM, it's her own business built up by herself. She has genuinely done really well for herself but the constant need for pats on the back and having to listen to what she's spent her money on next is so irritating. Like I said I have loads of other friends who are high earners and are nothing like this.
I know it would be easy to phase out if it was just her but we are part of a bigger friendship group

OP posts:
NumberTheory · 18/12/2023 14:38

If she’s actually doing really well it doesn’t sound like MLM, hardly anyone makes that much money out of them.

I think some people are just quite boorish about their achievements. Maybe they find it hard to believe themselves or something and the constant harping on and desire to have it validated by others soothes a sense of unease they have. But whatever it is it’s tiresome to be around.

If the friendship used to be really good and you have a lot of shared memories and have seen each other through hard times it might be worth a more candid conversation (along the lines of, I’m not jealous of your success, DF, but the constant boasting is kind of vulgar and tiresome. I;m not friends with you for your success, I liked that friend who used tell me all about her ….” Or something. But you don’t have to remain friends with anyone and it’s fine to drop her if you aren’t getting anything out of the friendship - it’s supposed to be a two way street.

Tempnamechng · 18/12/2023 15:04

I agree that it'll be an MLM. If she puts # girlboss, # blessed at the end of her posts feel free to vomit and unfollow. Our local MLM queen is always posting about how lucky she is to be able to afford to get her teeth fixed or go on an incentive holiday - all on the backs of gullible recruits, earning pennies by selling bits of facecream for her.
Just seen not an MLM. New money then ;-)

toddlermam · 18/12/2023 15:37

Which platform does she use most? Some you can mute/hide their posts so you don't have to see them, without actively unfollowing/unfriending them if you didn't want to do that.

MatildaTheCat · 18/12/2023 15:45

dingdongdoo89 · 18/12/2023 14:34

Ha no definitely not MLM, it's her own business built up by herself. She has genuinely done really well for herself but the constant need for pats on the back and having to listen to what she's spent her money on next is so irritating. Like I said I have loads of other friends who are high earners and are nothing like this.
I know it would be easy to phase out if it was just her but we are part of a bigger friendship group

Well you can’t buy class.

Just mute her and if you have to socialise you can smile and nod.

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