DH WFH

[fivetothefloor]

Anyone else have a DH who WFH full time? I work PT.
I tend to struggle in the school hols
as he is super organised in his job role and ends up over organising me and the kids.
He’s up and down reminding me to do stuff I’m already on top of and it’s all the questions and suggestions about what we are doing and where we are going.
I feel micromanaged but I know he doesn’t mean it.
He’s so lovely and caring.
We do get out but we also want to chill at home.
Anyone else in the same boat?x

Can you give an example?

I wouldn't expect to see him during the working day at all.

Either than ten minutes to make a sandwich at lunchtime

If he is lovely and caring then make a joke of it, "DH have you forgotten you're talking to your wife not one of your employees?!"
"DH you're talking to me like youre my boss! I missed the part where I agreed to that set up ;)"
"DH I manage the household and you manage XYZ at work, please don't talk to me like you manage me too"
"DH I do manage fine when you aren't here, please watch how you talk to me because we might fall out if you continue to micromanage me!"

Whatever you say, say it with good humour and a smile and it doesn't need to be confrontational. It's what I do with my DH who has these tendencies when he is stressed about something. He always apologises and gives me a kiss once it's pointed out.

I’m just going on my Zoom call now kids. Mummy can go in goal.
Don’t forget to write the family Xmas cards.

"I’m just going on my Zoom call now kids." Makes sense to make sure that he is not disturbed

"Mummy can go in goal." You may need to explain this further.

"Don’t forget to write the family Xmas cards" Surely you answer "already done" or "thanks for the reminder" or just ignore him (though it could be a bit annoying.)

I’ve said I can manage fine when I’ve got the kids and he said ok but was defensive.

It’s better now as he used to give them an hour by breakdown of his working day and when he’d be in to see them which they held me to the minute for!

I was already in a footie game with them and he starts directing what I’m doing haha.

Just start responding with "Yes dad" and popping into his home office and announcing every time you've done a wee.

He'll soon get the message you're his partner not his daughter!

He constantly interrupts as he gets FOMO and fusses no end. Just needed to vent!

Its the thing WFH advocates like to ignore... the home becomes an extension of the workplace and you work round the worker.

He's got trigger finger with booking things in. He's just booked the kids into a term of after school activity because 'the spaces were going quickly' and told me he'd done it afterwards. I said he should have asked me first as we've been home together all day. It was briefly mentioned months ago but nothing was decided then.

I get the irony of me saying he's over-involved on a work day at home then he doesn't involve me...

That aside, he is a wonderful Dad and husband who would do anythung for us. I think I need more
alone time to recharge than he does so might go back to yoga. I know the DH WFH has been done alot so it’s a common issue x

I think that you actually need to be really clear to him.

Please, for everyone's sanity, you need to either be working, in which case we don't see you and you don't talk to us.

Or you are not working, in which case you are here and we talk to you.

It's really confusing with you popping in and out.

We.can schedule lunch as a proper break but please don't keep popping

My DH has worked from home for 20 years now. Our child is now a teenager, so he was wfh the entirety of her life.

mostly we didn’t see him.

a little pushback from you would be reasonable.

I've lost count of all the women on Mumsnet who say 'he's a wonderful dad/hubs/etc except when he's being a twunt'.