To feel too depressed for Christmas

[RandomButtons]

Just that really. I’ve been trying to hard this year to work through everything - I burnt out last year. Been in therapy. Trying to take it easy. Trying to work on mental health. just feel like I’m failing.

I’m working two jobs to try and pay all our bills, yet finances are still dire - every time we get back in the black something breaks and we get hit with 4 figure bills, and it’s back to square 1 on credit cards. I keep trying to take on more work (self employed) but I’m just not managing even a basic workload at the moment and I keep having to cancel clients because health issues (IBS, back injury) are just too much. I’ve been paying private therapy and physio and just can’t afford either anymore. I’m on the waiting list for NHS (also for ADHD) but I’ve been advised it’ll be 2 years minimum.

I just want to hide in bed. I feel like I’m failing my kids. Everyone around us is doing multiple magical days out, and I just can’t afford any of it. I love Christmas and just can’t work any of the traditions in that I’d like because I’m literally struggling to get out of bed. I’ve seen GP but they think I have long COVID right now on top of everything else - constantly exhausted since I caught it 3 months ago.

How do I suck it up and keep it magical for the kids? Everything they want to do costs a fortune.

@RandomButtons please be aware many doing it can't afford it either- they just maybe have bigger credit limits!! I'm gobsmacked on the amounts some people pay out for stuff like this- I think partly for some people it's ginormous showing off exercise 'look how well we are doing' and they are creating extraordinarily entitled kids in some cases. Learn to say'im sorry we can't afford it. They will moan and mutter- but so what- when they are older they will understand.

I’m so sorry, you have so much on your plate.

please believe that for your kids, spending time with you at Christmas is magical without you having to spend a fortune on magical days out (which are usually overpriced and naff anyway!).

How old are the children? We can maybe suggest some low cost and low energy activities which will still give them the experience without exhausting or bankrupting you ♥️

Stop comparing yourself to other people's social media accounts. Nothing is ever as real as it seems on there.

Concentrate on just surviving this time. Spend rime with your family watching Christmas films, visit the library or any free places near you. See the Christmas lights near you. Try to take the pressure of yourself and just be present.

There will be many, many people struggling through this period but not shouting about it publicly on their Facebook accounts. Remember you're not alone even though it may feel that way

Are you doing everything? Do you not have a partner or family to share responsibilities and fun activities?

Sorry to hear you are struggling. With your ADHD try finding a private provider who does NHS contract work, and try completing a right to choose request. Everyone is entitled to do this if they wish, and it can shorten waiting times.

10 and 7

There’s no right to choose where I live. Very jealous of English friends who’ve had that option.

Yes I have a partner who does usually do a lot, but he’s been battling depression and massive increased workload so he’s not managing to do everything he used to. No family we can call on.

It sounds like such a struggle but you have your kids for motivation.

What's stopping you getting out of bed? Ibs, back or depression?

For ibs, do you know what you're triggers are? Gluten is a as common one so it might be worth cutting that out.

Do you have gifts for your dc? You don't need too much at that age so try not to get into debt.

If you're well enough, then just take your kids out to all the free places. Lots of nature and winter walks will be good for everyone.

Bake Xmas cookies, give some to family, watch films with snacks and a blanket, read books all cuddled in your bed.

There'll be lots you can do.