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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Friend constantly moans how unhappy she is here in UK

8 replies

Peckahminn11 · 18/12/2023 09:13

Friend has been miserable for the last 3 years, about how she hates her life in the UK, desperately wants to move away (which of course is fine) and she's going to Australia next year with a working visa. But she does not stop banging on about how shitty the UK is, how expensive it, everyone is shit, money is shit and overall just complaining nearly everyday which hets the group down.

She is under the assumption AUS will be 10x better because the pay is so good, yet she doesn't realise that the COL out there is 20% higher therefore wages are higher. She constantly states how she will be on 100k+ a year doing the same job and how life is better out there, considering shes never been there before and hearing her brag and brag does our groups head in.

Of course, we are pleases she's doing something to make her happy but it's been this way the past three years and she has got to the point where she doesn't even want to spend NY or any time with us because she's so miserable and spends all her time working to save for AUS, then complains she's bored and doesn't have anything to do, and this happens almost everyday.

She was meant to spend NY with a mutual friend who just went through a break up with an abusive man and she isn't even willing to spend NY wity her because she thinks it's a pointless exercise. That friend will now be spending it on her own. I cant even spend it with her as i'm away seeing family.

AIBU to find her excuses selfish

OP posts:
jemenfous37 · 18/12/2023 09:22

Why have you remained friends with her? After 6 months of that kind of crap talk, why did no-one tell her to shut up?
More to the point, why stick with her moaning for 3 years?
Yabu because you've made the rod for your own back
I hope she has a fantastic time in Australia and constantly lets you all know how wonderful it is

Barmecide · 18/12/2023 09:24

Have you actually said ‘You’re boring me now’ when she starts? Or asking her firmly to change the subject because you’ve heard it all fifty times before?

Catza · 18/12/2023 09:27

The Australia thing is a big red herring that didn't really need to be part of this post. The crux of the issue is that you are upset because Friend A doesn't want to spend NY with Friend B who is going through the break up, right? And your upset is further compounded by the fact that you find Friend A particularly intolerable due to her complaining.
The truth is, she has no obligation to spend NY with anyone. I imagine it's not a fun situation for Friend B and if I were in Friend's A position, I am not sure how I would feel providing emotional support on NY, especially if I had a better offer. I would only do it for someone who was a really close friend so I am guessing, it is not a very close friendship.

5PurpleDinosaurs · 18/12/2023 09:32

Tell her to shut up. Tell her she is making all of you miserable as you are going to be stuck in shitty UK (as she sees it) while she is pissing off to shangri la. If you were nicer than me I'd remind her that the grass isn't always greener and she might suffer serious culture shock- particularly if she has not been there before.

Australia is great. But as someone who worked abroad for 15 years in some lovely places what happens is you just have a normal boring old life somewhere different. You still go to work, pay bills, etc. And if she is a moany and dissatisfied type of person then moving isnt going to help her- wherever she goes she will still be there.

idontlikealdi · 18/12/2023 09:42

And you're still friends because?

Maddy70 · 18/12/2023 09:50

She's detached from her country and her friends emotionally. And physically.

Back off she doesn't want to be with that person for nye that's absolutely fine she doesn't have to. She can spend it with whoever she wants to.

TheClitterati · 18/12/2023 21:26

Wow she sounds like fun.

She's really in a massive surprise re the magic new life in Australia. Plus she's going with herself so same shit, different country

Minimise contact with her for sure.

Gnomegnomegnome · 18/12/2023 21:29

Maybe she is genuinely depressed?

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